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by ChloeLeeFanFic



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-14 17:04:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 70,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5751166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloeLeeFanFic/pseuds/ChloeLeeFanFic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a Jedi who has decided it's time to come out of hiding. You will have to face your past and make decisions about your future. Kylo Ren is apart of your past but will he be apart of your future. </p><p>(There will be more chapters, and smut here and there. Enjoy!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Just like every morning you mark a tick on the wall of your hut and sit down on the floor. You close your eyes and begin to lose yourself in the force. Slowly you began to reach out, focusing on the person you wanted to reach and thought the coordinates you wanted them to get. You’ve been doing this for about a month, ever since you felt an awakening in the force. You knew something big was going on and it was time for you to stop hiding. 

You don’t know how long you sat there replaying your message, willing it to reach the person. You always lost track of time while meditating, you couldn’t trust the accuracy of your ticks because of it. Your eyes shot open, you could sense someone approaching the planet. Your message got through! You grabbed your saber and ran to the spot the ship should land at. It didn’t take long before you heard a ship. Your heart fluttered, you were finally going home! 

You watched the y-wing land a few feet in front of you from your hiding spot. You were sure this was the ship you had been waiting for but it was better to make sure first. You sensed somebody but it was not the person you had been reaching out to. Shortly after landing a man and small droid exited the ship. They started to talk and you decided to listen before showing your self.

The droid beeped and the man responded, “Yeah BB8, I don’t know what were looking for either. The general said we would know when we saw it, what ever it is not even she knows.” The general, does he mean Leia you wonder. The droid beeped a response. “Yeah buddy, I know this planet isn’t very safe but I think we need to look around. The general said this could be very important for the resistance, so were going to do are best here.” You decide that’s all you need to hear and step out into the small clearing. 

“I am why you are here.” You seemed to have startled the two because the man drew his blaster and the droid hide behind him.  
“I am no threat to you two. My name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and I am the one who used the force and sent the message to Luke.”

The man lowered his weapon but looked at you cautiously. “I guess thats why they had me take a two seater ship.”

“I need you to take me to the resistance base on D’Qar. If the resistance is still there of course.” The droid suddenly stopped hiding and beeped something about how can we trust her. You walked forward cautiously and crouched down in front of the droid. You placed your hand on the droid’s head and spoke softly to it. “I have no way to prove you can trust me. All I have is the promise that I would never harm either of you. Please, I need your help.” The droid cheerfully beeped that it was good enough for him. 

You looked up at the man as he chuckled. “Well, if it’s good enough for you BB8, it’s good enough for me. Plus there isn’t many who know where the resistance base is.” He looked down at you and smiled. His eyes then shifted to your saber on your hip but he said nothing. You returned the smile but it felt foreign and odd. You haven’t talked to anyone or smiled in ages. 

You stood and the man put his hand out. “I’m Poe Dameron and this here is BB8. It’s nice to meet you.” He flashed you a dazzling smile and you returned the hand shake.

“It’s nice to meet you too Mr. Dameron. And you too BB8” BB8 cheerful replied. 

“Please call me Poe.” He said still smiling. He was quite handsome you had to admit. 

“Ok, Poe.” 

“Well let’s get off of this planet, shall we.” He swung his hand out gestured for you to get in the ship. 

“Yes please.” You replied dramatically and began to climb into the y-wing. You were finally ready to stop hiding and return to the only home you’ve ever know, the resistance. 

 

“Force I’m nervous.” You whispered as you claimed out of the ship. You were glad it was night when you made it to D’Qar. There wasn’t anyone out on the landing strip and that’s how you wanted it. You wanted to avoid people till at least after talking to Leia. 

“Been a while since you’ve been around civilization?” Curses, you had hoped he hadn’t heard that. 

“Yeah, not much of that on Dagobah.” All of you were out of the ship and he stopped to face you.

“Not the nicest planet is it?”

You chuckled. “No not really.”

“Can I ask then why you were on that planet?”

“I was hiding.” You spoke quietly and looked down. You hate that you hid but what else could you have done?

“Hiding? From what?” 

“I… rather not say. It’s all a little complicated.” It really wasn’t that complicated you just didn’t really want to talk about it with a stranger. Even though you felt very at ease with him and felt like you could spill everything right here. It was probably better you didn’t though. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to pry. I was just curious that’s all.” You finally looked up and he had a wide smile. You couldn’t help but notice the absolute sincerity in it. You could feel your self blush and you hoped he didn’t notice. 

“It’s ok, you can ask me later when there’s more time to talk. If you still want to know.”

“I’ll hold you to that. We should probably head to the general.”

“Is the general Leia Organa?” He looked at you a little surprised.

“Yes it is. Do you know her?”

“Yes I do. I would really like to talk with her.”

“Well great, me and BB8 will lead the way.”

“Thank you.” He smiled at you and started to walk. You followed closely behind, looking around as you went. It’s been years since you been here but not much has changed. You were pretty sure you knew you were headed to the command center and you could probably get there yourself. Still you were glad to be lead though just in case.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally see your space mom after your long absence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's smut in this chapter, enjoy!

You reached the command center and suddenly it was like you never left. Sure it looked a little different, upgrades had been made here and there, but there was something, or someone, that hadn’t changed at all. Right in the middle of the room standing in front of a large table looking down was Leia Organa. She looked just like you had remembered, it took all your will power not to run up and hug her. She must of noticed someone walked in because she looked up. She looked to Poe first then her eyes moved over to you and she froze.

“Hello Leia.” 

“(Y/N)… I… I thought you had died.” You gave her a kind smile and started to walk forward. She still seemed to be stuck in place from shock. You had never seen the woman like this before, you had to admit it was a little unnerving.

“I was hiding.” You looked down again in shame.

“But Luke said he reached out for you and didn’t feel your presences. He said you must had died.” You looked up at this, not because you were surprised but because you were impressed with yourself. He had been looking for you but couldn’t find you.

“You know I’ve always been good at shielding myself from the force. I didn’t want to found, not until now. I’m sorry Leia for everything.” Your voice cracked at that last part and you couldn’t look at her. You were so ashamed of yourself for hiding and running away. You had thought it was for the best, now being back you weren’t so sure. Suddenly you were caught up in an embrace. You hugged her back tightly and started to sob. You let all your emotions flow out of you through your tears.

“It wasn’t your fault (Y/N). It was good you hid yourself. Oh (Y/N), I’m so glad your alive.” She continued to hold you and stroke your head until your tears stopped and your breathing returned to normal. Slowly she moved out of the hug and grabbed a hold of your hands. “Come with me to my room (Y/N), we have much to catch up on.” She slide her arm around you shoulders and you put your arm around her waist. You two walked together like that all the way to her room.

 

 

You looked around the room and walked over to the couch and sat down. “I see you haven’t changed much.”

Leia sat down next to you and looked around her quarters. “No I guess not…”

“So… what kind of crap has happened since I’ve been gone?” You regret the question immediately when you see the pained look on Leia’s face. She tried to hide it but it was there. “That bad, huh?” She gave you a small smile and began to relay all that’s happened starting with that night. You tried to keep a calm face as she explained the night Ben turned into Kylo Ren. Eventually, she got to what happened just about a month ago.

“…So we were able to destroy Starkiller but there were casualties…” The way she said that you knew someone close was lost. She had mentioned that the ex-stormtrooper, Finn, Chewie, and Han went into the base to rescue Rey and your heart skipped a beat. She continued, “Han ran into Ben…” She was struggling to tell you what happen and you held your breathe while you waited. “Han tried to bring him home, I told him too. Ben… he… he killed him.” She looked at you and her face was set, refusing to show emotion. You were the complete opposite.

Your finally stopped holding your breathe but when you did your breathing was ragged. Tears welded up in your eyes. “He… no… he couldn’t of…. he, he. No Leia. No I’m so sorry.” She placed a hand on your shoulder. She still refused to show any emotion, though she was struggling. She had always been so strong and that was never going to change, it was comforting.

“It’s ok, (Y/N). I’m sorry too, I know Han was like a father to you… I’m sorry about Ben too.” Your breathing was finally starting to slow.

“Leia, how could he…”

“He’s lost (Y/N). Lost in the dark side.”

“I need to go to him. Maybe-“ Leia cut you off.

“No. Han tried and look what happen.” You both cringed at that.

“But you said so yourself he’s lost. Maybe he just needs someone to help him find the way… He loved me once… Maybe he still does?”

“It’s not worth the risk. I’m pretty sure he thinks you’re dead just like the rest of us did. It should stay that way.” Leia’s voice was stern and the hand on your shoulder tightened. You knew you would never agree on this tonight so you just nodded.

She let go of you shoulder and a thought came to you. “Wait, if Luke’s in hiding how did he tell you to send someone to Dagobah.”

“BB8 had the piece of the map and it turned out R2 had the rest of it, so Rey, Chewie, and R2 went and brought him back.”

“Wait so he’s here.”

“Yes. I’m actually surprised we haven’t seen him. Surely he would of noticed your presence.”

“Maybe not… I’m still shielding myself.”

“Your shielding powers have greatly increased then. His room is right next to this one. I need to ask, what happened that night, how did you end up on Dagobah?” You knew this was coming but you still dreaded it. You took a deep breathe and began.

“I didn't see much that night thankfully. I was sleeping when Luke came and woke me. He said something was wrong and I needed to quickly gather a bag. I wanted to ask what was going on but I could tell it would be better to just listen. He looked frightened and angry, a look I had never seen on him. So I gathered some clothes, saber and followed him.

He lead me to a ship and he told me to go. He said to go to the resistance or some where I would be safe. That’s when I had to ask what was going on. He’s said it was Ben. I knew what he meant, he had turned to the dark side. I had tried so hard to keep him away from that but he pushed me away.

I had froze when he told me it was Ben and then I heard the screams… Luke yelled at me to go and I listened. I wanted to go and never look back. I was so confused, angry, sad. I couldn’t handle it. So I flew away and started to shield myself. I thought about coming back to the base but I couldn’t. I wanted to hide, from every one and everything that was happening. My heart broke that night and I just wanted to be alone.

So I tried to think of a planet to go to and I remembered Luke’s stories of Dagobah. So I headed there and had just enough fuel. I took that has a sign, that I did the right thing. It was where I was meant to be, that I was doing the right thing. I found a very small hut, I figured it was Yoda’s. I spent a few days not moving just focusing on shielding myself and letting my emotions control me. Finally, I had enough of being curled up in a bawl not doing anything. I sat down and meditated on the force. I don’t know how long I sat there, could of been hours or weeks but I had never felt so connected to the force. I decided then that I would spend the rest of my time on this planet becoming stronger with the force. Then about a month ago I felt an awakening in the force. Now I know it must have been the girl, Rey. I knew it was time to stop hiding. So I reached out to Luke. I did that every day right up until the ship landed.”

“I’m sorry (Y/N) you went through that.”

“Thank you Leia but I’m fine. It was good for me. I need to act now though, I need to help end this… One way or another.” Both of you sat in silence for a while. Leia broke the silence first.

“Luke will want to see you. That can wait till tomorrow though, you must be tired. I wish I had a normal room for you but we’re busting at the seams as it is. You can stay here till we get you set up with something. The couch isn’t the most comfortable but I-“

“It’s great Leia, thank you.” She smiled and got up and went to the closet. She brought out some blankets and pillows and set them down next to you on the couch.

“You know where the bathroom is right?” You nod, “Great help your self to whatever and make yourself at home, ok?” You nodded again and smiled. “Oh, wait one moment.” She walked off into her bedroom. A little later she returned with a small box that had your name on it. “After what happened, I went into your room and found this stuff. I couldn’t bare to throw it way so here.”

“Thank you so much Leia. For everything.”

“You don’t need to thank me for anything (Y/N). Your like a daughter to me, you always have been. I’m so happy you’re here.” You stood up and hugged her tightly. “Alright, I’m going to bed and I think you should do the same.”

“Yes ma’am.” You smiled at each other and she went to here bedroom.

You sat back down, you were exhausted. You looked down at the box. Curiosity got the best of you and you opened it up. Right on top was the only clothes you didn’t take with you when you left. Some of the plain training clothes you had been wearing for years. Under them though was the outfit you always had hidden for when you and Ben would sneak off the planet. You were glad to have a different change of clothes especially this one. A black v-neck shirt, black pants, and your favorite leather jacket. You hopped it still all fit you.

Once you had pulled all the clothes out you froze. You thought you would never see these things again. You cursed up and down when you had realized you left these behind that night. There in the bottom on the box was a necklace and ring box. You grabbed the necklace first. Leia gave this to you when you went off to train with Luke. It was a sliver chain with a sliver star hanging from it. You put it on, you loved this necklace so much. You stared at the ring box for a while. Finally, you reached in with shaky hands and grabbed it. You opened the box up and a memory flooded you.

 

 

_“Where are we going Ben?” You asked laughing as he pulled you by your hand._

_“Just a little ways more. I want to talk to you.” He sounded nervous and it worried you. He had been acting strange lately, talking about how his anger was getting worse. You could usually help him through but it had been rough lately._

_“ Here, this is far enough.” He stopped and faced you. It was night but the moon was bright so you could see each other clearly. He was so handsome in the moon light you thought._

_“Ok, why are we here?”, You laughed nervously trying to keep the mood light. He looked at you in the way that would always take your breath away. It was such an intense look, like you were the only person in the whole galaxy. His smile was wide and his eyes sparkled in the moon light, you blushed._

_“I love you (Y/N).You are my everything. I’ve been so lost but when I’m with you I feel like I’m home. There’s no other place I want to be and no one else I want to be with.” He got down on one knee and your mouth fell open. He pulled a box out of his pocket and held it out to you. “(Y/N), will you marry me?” He opened the box up and in it was the most beautiful ring. You had started crying so you just nodded. “Yes?!”_

_“Yes Ben, I love you!” He slipped the ring on your finger and stood up. He grabbed both sides of your face and pulled it to his. He kissed you with such an intensity you had to pull away and gasp for air._

_He chuckled, “Sorry.” You smiled and wrapped your arms around is neck. You brought you lips back to his and hovered there._

_“Don’t be.” You whispered into his lips and then pulled him in for another passionate kiss._

_He forced your mouth open so his tongue could gain excess. His hands slide down your sides to your hips and he pulled you against him. You could feel the warmth of his body and you wanted more.You wound your hands in his long locks and gently brought him even closer.Your tongues danced around each other. This time when you pulled apart both of you were gasping for air. “Let’s go to your room.” You whispered looking up at him with such love and want, he had the same look on him. He only nodded then grabbed your hand and hurriedly pulled you along._

 

_As soon as you were both in his room and the door was shut he pulled you down unto the bed. He got on top of you and leaned down to kiss you again. You both have had sex before, many times, but this was different. You both had an intensity that was new and exciting. You started to pull his shirt up so he sat up and threw it off quickly. He came back down to you and you ran your hands along his chest. He kissed down you jaw to your neck. Leaving little marks at all the sensitive areas while he stuck his hand under your shirt. His hand made its way up to your breast so you pushed him back. He was confused at first but then chuckled because he saw you were taking your shit off so he helped you. Once it was off he went right back to kissing your neck but this time on the other side. As he left matching marks on this side his hand started to slide up your stomach towards your breast. Your hands moved down to his groin and gently rubbed him. His hand gently teased your nipples and squeezed your breast one after another. You both let out a small moan. You hated how you had to try and be quiet. Slowly his mouth starting making his way down your neck towards you breast. You hands made their way up to his back and slide up into his hair._

_He licked each nipple lightly before sucking them. You tried to bite back a moan but you were struggling. He continued his path down leaving marks here and there until he reached your waist. He stood up and took the rest of his clothes off. You loved when he did this, he would alway stand there naked letting you stare. He was muscular from training and his dick was already very hard. He was gorgeous like this, vulnerable. He would blush and avoid eye contact but let you stare until you called him back over._

_“Ben.” You whispered and he came back over. He started to remove your pants and underwear. You lifted your butt and he slide the rest of your clothes off with ease. This is where he would get pay back and stare at you lying there naked in his bed.You loved how lustful he looked as his eyes raked over your body. He didn’t look for very long before he brought his lips back to yours. You could feel his length against your thigh._

_“Are you ready?” He had seen how wet you were and knew there was no need for foreplay tonight._

_“Yes, Ben.” He spread your legs and settled in-between them. Slowly he eased him self into you. You bit back a moan and pulled at his hair gently._

_Once all of him was in you, you wrapped your legs around his waist. He kissed you as he slowly began to pull in and out. Each time he hit that spot that made you weak. Both of your breathing got rougher. “Faster.” You whispered against his lips. He nodded and speed up a little. Your hips rocked with his. He began to moan so you pulled him into a kiss. You pushed your tongue into his month. You broke the kiss first. “Oh… Ben…Fuck! Harder.” He obeyed and started to thrust a little harder and faster. He made sure to hit the right spot every time. Your hips moved in rhythm as you both got closer and closer. Moans and names would break out of your mouths when they weren’t silenced with a kiss. Ben picked up the pace without you asking this time, he knew you were both close. Your body began to shake and your walls began to contract against his cock. “Ben.” You moaned out his name as you came. He continued to thrust as you came down from your orgasm._

_“Fuck...(Y/N)!” He moaned your name as his body began to shake and you felt him spill inside of you. He collapsed against you and you both laid there trying to regulate your breathing. Eventually, he separated from you and laid beside you. You curled into him and rested your head in the crock of his neck, his head rested on top of yours. “I love you.” He kissed the top of your head._

_You nuzzled into him and mumbled, “ I love you Ben. Forever.”_

_“Forever.” He repeated and you both drifted off to sleep in each others arms._

  
“Forever.” You mumbled and slipped the ring on. It felt so weird and foreign. You never did get to wear it much. Everybody knew but you tried to keep your relationship quiet. Luke didn’t really approve so when you got engaged it was a secret. You sighed and found it hard to keep your eyelids open. You slipped the ring onto your right hand and you put the rest of the stuff back into the box. You grabbed the pillow and blankets, and got comfortable on the couch. Before long you were fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader finally confronts her old master and has a picnic with some new friends.

You woke up disoriented. When you opened your eyes you expected to see your hut not Leia's living room. You thought all of yesterday had been a dream. Happily you realized it wasn’t, you were on D’Qar, in the resistance base. You looked over to the clock, it was late morning. You slept for a lot longer than you usually do. Leia would already be in the command center leading the resistance. You got up and stretched, then headed to the bathroom. Oh you were so happy to actually have a bathroom. You took a long hot shower and used many of Leia’s different soaps. It was amazing, you stepped out feeling great.

You braided your long hair as you walked over to the box. There was some clothes on top of it Leia must have left. It looked like a resistance uniform, some black boots and underthings. You were thankful for the underthings and boots but if they fit you were going to wear your black shirt, pants and favorite jacket.

They fit pretty good still. You guess you shouldn’t of been too surprised. You knew you had gained muscle but defiantly not any weight from your time on Dagobah. It actually wouldn’t hurt to gain a little weight. The thought made your stomach growl. You could finally eat normal food and not have to scavenge for it. You put the boots on, hooked your saber to your hip and headed out the door.

You should probably seek out Luke but your stomach was protesting. It was lunch time anyways so you made you way to the mess hall. Or at least you tried too. You hoped you remembered where it was. Turns out you didn’t, you were completely turned around. You had made it to the landing strip though which might help you get your bearings. Or you could ask for help, though you didn’t really know anyone. You were looking around when you seen a x-wing with a little white and orange droid rolling around his master. You found someone you knew, so you headed towards them.

“Hey Poe. Hi BB8” He looked up from the droid to you and a smile broke out across his face. You could get use to seeing that smile every day you thought. BB8 beeped a hello.

“(Y/N), how are you?”

“I’m good. I need a little help though.” You smiled and let out a little chuckle. “I’m lost.”

He chuckled, “Well I would love to help, where you headed?” As if on cue your stomach growled very loudly. He laughed, “Ahh, the mess hall?” You nodded. “Well just so happens I was going to head for a bite to eat too. Come on.” BB8 beeped at him.

“Yes I was BB8. Hush.” You giggled to yourself and walked beside him. BB8 rolled up and followed along next to you. “So did you sleep ok?” He looked honestly curious, not just like he was making small talk.

“Yeah, I slept better than I have in a long time in fact.” It was true, you just realized you didn’t have any of your normal dreams. Well at least you don’t remember them and they didn’t wake you up in the middle of the night.

“That’s great! Did you get a room set up?”

“Not yet, I’m staying on Leia’s couch for now.”

“You must be close with the general, huh?”

“Yeah she’s always been like a mother to me.” You grabbed your necklace and held it.

“Did she give you that?” You looked at him, you didn’t know he was watching you.

“She did. She gave it to me the night before I left to go train with Luke.” He stopped and turned to you.

“Can I see it?” You nodded and held it away from your chest so he could look at it. He grabbed it and your hands brushed. “So, you are a Jedi then? Yesterday I seen the saber on your hip and you mentioned sending out a message to Luke.” You just nodded and keep looking down at his hands. He keep running his thumb across the star. It was an oddly intimate moment, you didn’t know how to react. Finally, he let go, turned and started walking again. “You should meet Rey. She just learned she’s force sensitive.”

“I would like to meet her. She caused quite a stir in the force. Do you know her personally?”

“Yes we became pretty close after the events at Starkiller. Did the general let you know what happened while you were on Dagobah?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m also close with the ex-stormtrooper, Finn. They’ll probably sit with us at lunch. That is if you wanted to have lunch with me.” His hand rubbed the back of his neck. He seemed to get a little nervous at asking about lunch.

You smiled widely at him. “I would love too.”

“Great!” He smiled back.

 

Your mouth was watering at all the food. You wanted to grab everything but you knew you get sick if you took to much. You settled on a sandwich, soup and your favorite fruit. You followed Poe to a table that already had two people sitting at it. It must be Finn and Rey you thought. You were sure it was Rey at least, you could feel her presence very strongly. You could already tell she was quite strong with the force.

“(Y/N) this is Finn and Rey. Guys, this is (Y/N).” They both looked up at Poe and then at you. Man, your couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Rey was and how hot Finn was. You wondered if everyone in the resistance was as good looking as the three of them.

“Hi.” They both greeted you in unison.

“It’s nice to meet you both. I’ve heard a little about you two, all good things.” You gave them a friendly smile. Man, you forgot how nerve wrecking it is to meet new people.

Poe took a seat next to Finn and you took a seat across from him next to Rey. When you sat down you noticed she was still looking at you. She had a weird look on her face like she was struggling with something.

“Are you a jedi?” She blurted out, it caught you off guard.

“I am. How could you tell?”

“There was just something about you. I tried to feel you in the force but I couldn’t. Then I noticed the saber on your hip.”

“You couldn’t feel me in the force because I’m shielding myself.”

“You can hide your self from the force?”

“Yes, Luke hasn’t told you that? I assumed since you brought him back he would be training you?” Rey finally looked away from you and looked down at her food. She didn’t hide the disappointed look on her face.

“Yes he is training me but all he’s really had me doing is meditating. At least with the force I mean, he also has me running around and doing things to physically strengthen me.”

“Well meditating is very important but its not the only thing you need to learn. How long have you been training under him?” You really need to have a talk with Luke. You can understand why he would be reluctant to train anyone after what happened but Rey needs to be trained.

“A little over a week.” That’s not long, but still to only tell her to meditate. He must be taking it slow with her. She’s had a late start with knowing about the force, as did Luke. If anyone should understand it would be him.

“Well that’s not that long. You will learn everything in time, I’m sure. If not you can always come to me.”

“Really?!” Her head shot up and her eyes were shining bright. She was so full of life, it was amazing. Her presence was so bright and warm, it was addicting.

“Of course. There aren’t many of us Jedi left out there, we need to stick together. We need to help each other stay on a good path. It’s too easy to be lead astray.” Your eyes went down to your ring and you twisted it.

“Thats pretty.” It was Finn who spoke. You gave him a friendly smile and he returned it.

“Thank you. An old friend gave it to me.” They started chatting about their day amongst themselves while you ate. You keep looking down at your ring thinking of an old memory.

 

_“I’m tired of waiting for you to be my wife.” Ben was sitting on your bed leaning against the wall as he played with your hair. You were laying down with your head in his lap._

_“I know, I can’t wait either. What are we going to do though? No one even knows we’re engaged.” You stared at the ring happy for the time you get to wear it._

_“Let’s go now! We have the day off. Luke did tell us to go enjoy are selves. I can’t think of a better way to enjoy myself than finally making you my wife.” You looked up at him in shock. Ben had a huge grin on his face and he was totally serious._

_“Really?!” You sat up and climbed onto his lap._

_“Yes. We can go to Naboo and find a holy man to secretly marry us!” He was so excited and it made you excited too. There was nothing you wanted more than to be Ben’s wife._

_“Ok, let’s go.”_

_“Really!?!” His grin got even wider and so did yours._

_“Yes!” You nodded and he grabbed you face and kissed you._

 

  
“(Y/N)?” Someone was waving their hand in front of your face. You looked up to see Poe trying to get your attention.

“Sorry, I was lost thinking about something.” Or rather someone you thought. “What’s up?”

“We are all free tonight and we were trying to think of something fun to do. We’re thinking of a picnic. Would you like to join us?”

“Umm… Sure, why not.” You could use some fun in your life, something normal.

“Great!” Poe and Finn said at the same time, you laughed.

You stood up, you couldn’t eat anymore and you needed to talk to Leia. “So where should I meet you guys later?”

“We usually meet up at Poe’s x-wing and it would be around seven.” Rey said, she seemed happy about meeting up later.

“Ok I’ll see you guys then.” You waved and left, on a mission to talk to Leia.

 

You were happy you found the command center fairly easy. You walked in and Leia was leaning against the wall by herself.

“Leia.”

“(Y/N) how are you feeling?”

“Good. Can I talk to you quick, privately?”

“Yeah, let’s step into this conference room.” You followed her in and shut the door. “Is everything alright? You seem nervous.”

“I…uh… There’s something me or Ben never told you… We’re married.” You expected shock or disappointment but all you got was a sly smile.

“I know (Y/N).”

“You know! How do you know!”

“Luke told me when you got engaged and when you ran away to Naboo to get married.”

“How did he know!”

“I’m not sure. He’s always been quick to figure things out. Are you upset that I knew (Y/N)?”

“No, no, not at all. I was just surprised.”

“Is that the ring?” Leia gestured down to the ring you were twisting. Seemed you picked up a new nervous habit rather quickly.

“Yeah.” She gently took your hand and looked at it.

“I seen it when I put your stuff in the box. It’s beautiful. I was so happy when I heard you two married. I would of liked to have been there but still I was happy. Luke was not so happy, he was worried about you two. Han was happy, even though he always said you were too good for Ben.” She laughed a little, it was a sad laugh. “Have you talked to Luke yet?” You shook your head. “Go to him now. He cared for you greatly too. He still doesn’t know you’re here.” You nodded and walked out of the conference room.

You got outside and felt out into the force for him. You soon found yourself at the edge of the base near the forest. There was a man sitting on the ground, Luke. You decided to test how well you could sneak up on your old master. You walked over quietly and stood right in front of him. He looked so much older since the last time you seen him. He didn’t seem to notice you at all.

“Hello Luke.” You sent that out to him using the force, his eyes shot open and looked up at you bewildered.

“(Y/N).” He whispered.

“The one and only.”

“Your dea-

“Dead nope.” You sat down across from him. “You couldn’t even tell I was right in front of you. I’ve been shielding myself.”

His face was now expressionless. “You always were exceptional at that. So you sent the message to me from Dagobah. You’ve been there this whole time?”

“Yup, turns out we’re more alike than we’d like to admit. We both ran and hid.” He looked away from you when you said that. “Look Luke, you’ve alway been a pain in my ass but I missed you all the same. I missed your guidance. You’ve always meant a lot to me even if I don’t like to admit it, and I’m sorry about what happen. I’m sorry about everything.” He looked back at you, his face softened and he had a slight smile.

“I’m glad your not dead.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“No, that didn’t come out right. I… missed you too.” You smiled, he was never good with words or feelings really.

“So you have a new pupil.” He nodded face hardening again. “I’ve met her, she’s strong. She’s needs training though. More than just being told to meditate. Did you even tell her how to meditate?”

“Of course! I… I know she needs to learn more but…”

“I understand. Look if you need some help I can try and train her a little. She would do good with your guidance though. Tell her some old Jedi stories. They helped me. Tell her about the good and the bad, the light, dark and grey.” You stood up and brushed the dirt off your bottom.

Luke looked up at you. “You know we need to talk about him.”

“No I really don’t think we do.” You started to walk away, you knew he would do this.

“I seen him that night when you must of started shielding yourself. We were both feeling into the force for you making sure you were ok. You just disappeared from the force, we both came to the same conclusion. He lost all his control then.” You had froze.

“It’s my fault…” The words barely escaped your mouth but Luke heard you.

“No, thats not why I told you that. It isn’t your fault…Do you still love him? I see you’re still wearing the ring. Even if it is on the wrong hand.” You stormed back over and stood in front of him. You were upset, you didn’t want to talk about this.

“Look! Don’t you dare ask me something like that! I…” You were yelling, so you took a deep breath. “Look, I… I don’t know. I’m trying to figure that out. But that’s my own business and it has nothing to do with you.”

“I’m sorry.” He seemed hurt at your words for a second before he went back to his ever annoying expressionless face. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I brought it up because I know what you’re thinking and I want to tell you not to.”

“What are you-“

“You want to go to him and try to bring him back to the light. You can’t, he’s too far gone. That’s why I told you what happened when we thought you died. I’m not blaming you, I’m telling you Ben is gone.”

“You don’t know that.” You mumbled and walked away. Even if it is true, wouldn’t it still be worth it to try?

 

You walked around base till seven. No one said anything to you all day, which you were grateful for. Shielding yourself helped to hide your presence from everyone. You did get a few looks here and there though. Walking around the whole base was good, you don’t think you could get lost anymore. You made your way to the x-wing and seen all of them were already there. You hoped you weren’t late.

“Hi.” You said, the nervousness in your voice hopefully was only obvious to you.

“Hey (Y/N).” Finn said and waved. He was also like Rey, he was full of life. You could tell why Poe liked the two, they were invigorating to be around.

“Hi.” Poe said.

“Hello.” Rey said. They were all smiling at you and man it was intimidating.

“We’re all here lets go.” Poe said as he swung a bag across his shoulder and motioned for everyone to follow him.

You all walked to a small field that was in between the back of the base and the surrounding forest. You wondered if Finn and Rey were together because they seemed to flirt the whole way there. You and Poe just watched them and laughed as they joked around with each other. They were young and they seemed in love, even if they didn’t know. Poe stopped in the middle of the field and set the bag down. He laid out a blanket and set some containers with food down. Finn sat down then Rey sat down and leaned against him. You sat down on the other side of the blanket and Poe sat next to you.

“You snuck some good stuff out of the kitchen this time Poe.” Rey said as she grabbed a piece of meat you can’t remember if you like. It all did look good, you had to admit. You all started grabbing things and eating.

“Did you bring anything to drink Poe?” Finn asked.

“Oh yeah.” He reached into his bag and pulled out four cans of a carbonated drink you remember liking. He handed everybody one. “Alright, now this might of got shaken-“ Poe was cut off by Finn opening his up and it spraying all over himself. “As I was going to say the walk here might of shaken them up and will cause that to happen.” Everybody broke out laughing even Finn.

Finn stood up and took his shirt off. He turned around and laid it in the sun. When he did this you left out a small gasp. You seen a scar going all the way down his spine. It was unmistakably a light saber wound. Rey and Poe heard you but Finn didn’t notice. Without thinking you got up and touched his back next to the scar. Finn jumped at your touch and that made you jump back.

“I’m s-sorry.” You stammered. “I… did…did Kylo Ren do that to you?” Finn turned back to you and nodded sullenly. “I’m sorry it must be a bad memory. I’m sorry I brought it up.” You went back and sat down keeping your head down. You haven’t seen any of Kylo’s destruction up close before. You were shaken up but tried to hide it. When you sat down you noticed they were all looking at you a little weird. When Finn sat down he put a friendly smile on though.

“It’s alright, I’m just surprised you didn’t hear. At Starkiller I went up against Kylo and he did that.” Finn pointed a thumb to his back and his shoulder which you hadn’t noticed till now. “I was in a comma for a couple weeks.”

“I wish I could of killed him.” Rey was looking at Finn, her face was set in a serious look. A chill ran through you.

“As a Jedi, it’s not a great attitude to have.” She looked over at you a little ashamed. “It’s totally normal to feel that way though. Just don’t use those feelings to fuel you. Don’t push those feels deep down either, other wise they will come bubbling back up.” Her face went back to serious and gave you a quick nod. You smiled and said, “Well I really soured the mood didn’t I, sorry.”

Poe shook his head and laid his hand on yours, “No you’re fine.” He looked at you with such kind eyes you got lost in them a little. You realized you were staring and turned away blushing. Poe removed his hand and everybody went back to eating. The mood turned back to normal quickly.

 

The sun set and Poe got up to pack everything up. You got up too and helped him. Finn and Rey asked if he needed help but he said no, so they walked away hand in hand.

Once they were far enough away you asked, “So are they together?” Poe looked after them thoughtfully before responding.

“You know I’m not sure. I haven’t asked them because honestly I don’t think they know either.” You nodded, you had gathered as much. Everything was picked up and you both headed back towards the base.

“Where are you heading?”

“Back to Leia’s, I’m spent.”

“I’ll walk you.” So you both walked side by side in comfortable silence all the way. You were surprised how comfortable you were around Poe. You hadn’t had the most normal life, and it didn’t lead to you making many friends. Which left you with a little bit of social anxiety. Still everything about Poe was comfortable. Finally, you reached Leia’s door and then it got a little awkward. Poe rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Umm, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I hope so.” You said with a nervous smile and he returned it. Then he gave a quick wave and walked away awkwardly. You shook your head and walked through the doorway. Leia was sitting in one of the chairs across from the couch. She looked up at you, eyebrows raised.

“Was that Dameron?” You nodded and fell down onto the couch. You leaned your head back and stared at the ceiling. You weren’t sure why you were so exhausted. It must be a mental exhaustion you thought. You looked over at Leia and she was looking at you like a mother who caught their child doing something.

“What is it?” She looked back down at the holopad in her hands.

“Poe is a good guy.”

“Yeah… he’s nice. The point?”

“The point is be careful. That’s all.” You were going to ask her what she meant but she changed the subject. “I was thinking if you intend to stay with the resistance you’ll need something to do. If you are willing you could be a big help to the resistance if you became a fighter, or even a spy. What do you think?” She looked back up to you waiting for your response.

“That, I would like that. I want to be helpful but I haven’t trained in combat in a long time.”

“We have multiple training sessions going on everyday. You can train in whatever you want until you feel ready to be put to use. If you’re going to stay I have a room for you.”

“That all sounds great Leia, thank you. I want to be a part of the resistance, it’s home.”

“Your welcome. I’m really glad you feel that way. Well I’m going to bed.” She got up and walked to her bedroom, squeezing your shoulder as she passed you.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” She called back and closed her door. You fell asleep thinking of the new life you were starting here.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's your first day trying to get yourself ready for whatever Leia has in mind for you. Also more flashback smut, enjoy!

Today you woke up around dawn. You were happy, you hoped you would get back into a normal routine. What classified as normal though you had no idea. When you got up you seen a big box and a datapad on the coffee table. The datapad had a message from Leia.

“I was going to tell you this in person this morning but something came up. I’m going to be stuck in the command center all day. The box has a bunch of clothes for you. I noticed you weren’t fond of the resistance uniform, so there’s a lot of black pants and shirts in there. The datapad is yours to keep. It has all the training schedules, Rey’s training schedule, incase you wanted to join, and the details on your room. It has a map of the base, with your room marked on it and it will show you where you are. So as long as you have that you can’t get lost.” That would of been nice yesterday. “It will have new information all the time so check it once and a while. If there’s a big mission going on that isn’t secret, the datapad will have information. Well I think thats everything, if you have question I can’t help till this situation is over. So ask someone else or wait. See you soon, have a good day.”

You checked the datapad and it had no information about a big mission. Whatever has Leia busy must be secret. You grabbed the two boxes with the datapad on top showing the way to your room. It wasn’t too far from Leia’s room. The door slid open and you stepped in.

There was a short hallway when you walked in. To your left was the bathroom and to your right was a closet. You walked into the main room and set back against left wall was the bed. Between the bed and far wall was a cabinet to put your clothes in. A few feet in front of the cabinet was a table. Against the right wall was a small kitchen. Inbetween the kitchen and hallway was a full length mirror and a couple shelves.

You checked the bathroom and it was already stocked with soaps. You took a shower and changed into some clean clothes. You hooked your saber to your hip and checked the schedule. Looked like you could get breakfast and then head to a hand to hand combat training class. Then you would go to a blaster training class, a endurance one and then you could join Luke and Rey to meditate before dinner. So you set out to the mess hall. It was still early so there wasn't many people around the base. You liked it, it was peaceful. You got to the mess hall, grabbed some food and sat by yourself.

 

 

_“I can’t wait till we can sneak out and eat something better than this shit.”_

_“Ben! Shhh or Luke will hear you.”_

_“So what if he does. He wouldn’t do anything. He can’t do anything.” He mumbled and keep mixing his food up with his spoon._

_“What’s wrong?” Ben had been acting even worse lately. It had only been a month since you got married but the honeymoon phase was seemed to be fading for Ben. Maybe you can help with that. “I just don’t like having to listen to Luke anymore. I’m already stronger with the force than him. I should be able to go, I don’t need anymore teaching. You don’t either, we should be able to go live together on some other planet. We aren’t fucking kids anymore.” You placed a hand on his. You understood the feeling, you did feel like you were treated like a child sometimes. The way he talked about being stronger than Luke though scared you._

_“I understand Ben but I think you can never have to much training.” He rolled his eyes but held the hand that was on his. “Hey, why don’t we skip today. We haven’t had any alone time in a while.” You whispered and put emphasis on alone. He gave you a sly smile and pulled you up. He lead you to his room._

_Once in his room he pushed you against the wall and whispered leaning in close to your ear. “I love you. I want to go slow. I want to spend all day in here with you.”_

_“I love you too.” You whispered and he gripped your hands and held them above you. He kissed you slow and meticulously for a few minutes. “Ben.” You breathed out when he finally broke free enough for you to talk. “Can we take it to the bed?” He nodded and let you go. You walked over to the bed and laid on your back. He slowly lowered him self down and propped himself up on his elbow, his hand ran through your hair. His other hand intwined with yours. He lowered him self down farther and ran his lips over yours. Then he sucked at your bottom lip. You ran your hand that wasn’t entwined with his up and down his back. After a while he stopped sucking and moved his tongue into your mouth. He ran it across the roof and your back teeth. You sucked at his tongue and he moaned into your mouth. He sat up and let go of your hand. He pulled his shirt off and your hands went to his chest. They ran along all the scars and lines from his muscles. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation. You stopped and told him to switch positions._

_You leaned down and sucked at his bottom lip. Then you kissed your way down his mouth, to his jaw and to under his ear. You sucked and nipped leaving marks.Then you lightly nibbled his earlobe. He made cute moans while you did this. You kissed down his neck and across his chest to the other side of his neck. You sucked and nibbled at this side now, eventually making your way up to his other ear and nibbled it. He moaned louder and you kissed his mouth. His hands found your ass and squeezed. You grabbed his hair and moaned into his mouth. Your hands and mouth found their way to his chest and slowly traveled down. You stopped at his waist. Then you sat up and pulled his pants down slightly. You traced your fingers along his v line and he shuddered. His hands slid up from your ass to your shirt and pulled it off._

_“You are fucking gorgeous, (Y/N).” He pushed against your back and brought your nipple down to his mouth. He licked it lightly then sucked. He did this for a while before repeating the same to the other. He then nipped and sucked all around your breast, leaving little marks every where. It caused a continuous line of quiet moans to escape your lips. He stopped and brushed your hair back out of your face lovingly. You got beside him and slid the rest of his clothes off. You stared at him a little before leaning down and kissing his v line. He moaned rather loud._

_“Baby, I haven’t even touched you yet. You have to be quiet.” You whispered against his upper thigh._

_“Fuck being quiet.”_

_You chuckled and settled in-between his legs. You laid down and pressed a kiss into his inner thighs. His moaning continued, at least everyone was outside training by now. Then you thought about Luke coming to look for you both. Ben seemed to read your thoughts from the look on your face._

_“Love don’t stop. No one will come looking for us. I promise.” You tried not to worry and went back to what you were doing. You licked the tip of his cock. Then you lightly teased his balls as you licked all the way down his shaft. “Not too much, I want to cum inside of you.” You nodded and slowly lowered your mouth around his cock. You grabbed the base of him and slowly bobbed up and down. His hands went to your hair, moving it out of the way and tangling themselves in it. You could never get tired of his moans you thought.You keep going until he pulled you back from him. You licked his tip one more time before siting up. “Switch.”_

_He was on top of you once again and he pulled the rest of your clothes off. He kissed his way down your stomach to your inner thigh. He spread your legs more and kissed your inner thighs. Finally, he reached up and spread your lips._

_“You’re so wet my love.” His hot breath was against your core as he talked. He licked up from your slit to your nub. He gently sucked your clit. He placed both hands on your hips and gripped tightly. You were wiggling from pleasure. Your moans were getting louder so you bit your down on your hand, while the other gripped Ben’s hair. “Please let me hear you love. There’s no one around.”_

_Ben stuck his tongue into your opening and you let you of your hand. “Ben!” Moaned it’s way out as his tongue continued it’s assault. One of his hands released your hip and started to rub your clit. Your moans got louder, a slur of curses and his name. “Fuck Ben!” You called out as his hand moved from you clit and he slipped two fingers in you. His fingers hit your spot and you shuddered. His mouth went up and flicked at your clit. His fingers pumped in and out of you faster._

_His tongue stopped flicking for a second. “Can you cum twice baby.”_

_“Yes.” You managed to get out between moans. “Oh fuck baby! I’m so close. Don’t stop Ben.” His pace quickened and the warmth in your groin started to spread. “Ben!” You called out as your orgasm washed over you. You took his fingers out of you, sat up and sucked the juice off of them. Your arm went over your eyes. “Fuck me baby.”_

_He laughed, “Yes love. Anything you want.” He slowly slid in, his length filled you. He leaned down and kissed you. He gave you little kisses when you or he weren’t moaning. Your hips moved in unison. You reached around and grabbed his ass. He moaned loud and started to thrust harder. Both of your breathing increased and he gave up on kissing you. He pressed your foreheads together. One of his hands reached over and tweaked you nipple before going to grip your hip. He wasn’t getting deep enough so you let go of his ass and wrapped your legs around his waist. Your hands wound themselves in his hair. Now every time he thrusted he hit just right and his pace picked up._

_“Ben I’m close.”_

_“Me too love.” You both continued lost in a rhythm and moans. “Oh… Baby…. I’m… I’m close. Oh fuck! (Y/N)!” His dick spasmed inside you and spilled out. He didn’t stop though and soon your walls contracted. You let out a scream as your second orgasm washed over you. He keep going as you rode out your orgasm. Eventually, you both stopped moving and he rolled off of you. He laid beside you and intertwined your hands. “I love you. Forever.”_

_“I love you, forever.” You rolled over on your side and he did the same. He pulled you against him and pulled the covers over you both. Just then the door slid open and Ben pulled the covers over your head right before Luke stormed in._

_“I heard screaming.” He sounded out of breathe._

_“I didn’t hear anything. I was just sleeping until you came barging in.” You knew your clothes were thrown all over the floor and it was probably obvious you were under the covers. You pressed your head against Ben’s chest as you felt your checks heat up._

_“Well…I... tell (Y/N) that you and her have twice the training to do tomorrow since you both decided to skip.” You head the door slide closed and Ben uncovered you. You looked up at him and he busted out laughing._

_“You… should… of…seen his face.” Ben was laughing so hard he was crying. “His face was so red when he realized you were in here. He seen the clothes on the ground and got even redder. I didn’t think it was possible for someones face to get that red.” Ben was laughing like crazy. He was so happy you couldn’t help but join in on his laughing. The thought of Luke that embarrassed was pretty funny._

 

 

You slowly reached the two forms on the ground and sat beside them. It was hard to sit down, the training really did a number on you.

“Ok, Rey now try and let everything go, lose your self in the force.” Luke said.

“I can’t if you keep talking.” She said clearly frustrated.

“You need to be able to shut out distractions. If you were properly meditating my voice shouldn’t reach you unless I use the force.”

“Start with deep breathes Rey, and work on relaxing all you muscles. That should always be your first step.” You said as you crossed you legs and closed your eyes.

“Ok.” Rey took a few deep breathes.

“Ok, now I can tell your trying to hard to focus on the force. Instead just let the force surround you. It’s all around us, everywhere, let it wrap around you.” You waited few moments and then said her name a couple times. No response, so you reached out into the force. “Rey, you did it. Keep meditating. Don’t over think it, let the lines between you and the force blur.” You opened your eyes and Luke was staring at you.

“You’re a good teacher.” He said with a smile.

“Thank you, I learned from the best.” You smiled back, and Luke closed his eyes and went back to meditating. You followed his lead and closed your eyes. You let the force ease some of your pain from training.

It was the evening once you opened your eyes. You looked beside you and Rey was gone but Luke was still there. You stood up and stretched, you really need that. You felt so much more at peace and your muscles felt much better. Your stomach growled so you made your way towards the mess hall.

On your way you seen two people that had been in your hand to hand combat session looking at you and taking. You tried to ignore them but you couldn’t help but wonder what they were saying. You had done particularly well in that training session. All the times you and Ben had sparred without the force came back to you. The teacher eventually offered to spar with you after you took down all the other opponents easily. She was good but not as good as you. You defeated her fairly quickly, she took it well though. She just laughed and said she didn’t think you needed this class.

The blaster training course went alright. You had never even held a blaster before but it was pretty simple to use. If you used the force you could hit the target right where you wanted. Without the force it was a little more difficult. You much prefer a saber, the blaster just felt uncivilized. You liked the endurance training. It was just running with heavy packs and seeing how long you can last. It was exhausting but it felt good to work your muscles and to be physically exhausted.

You made it to the mess hall, grabbed some food and looked for a table to sit at. Finn caught your eye, smiled and waved you over. He was sitting across from Rey again. There was no Poe though, you found yourself disappointed. You sat down and they greeted you. You said hello back.

“Hey, thanks for the help with the meditating earlier. It was the first time I felt like I did it right. Luke said he would start training me with training sabers tomorrow morning.”

“Your welcome, that’s great. I’ll have to join you for that.”

“Your training with Rey?” Finn asked.

“I’ll probably join in every once in a while. I need to brush up before Leia, the general, sends me out.” Should probably get use the calling her the general now that your apart of the resistance you thought.

“Send you out?” Rey asked.

“Yeah, the general said that I would be useful to the resistance as a fighter or something. I need to do some training before I feel comfortable though.” Rey and Finn nodded. They started to talk about their day, you joined in here and there this time. You told them about your training sessions a little. Poe never showed up so when there was a lull in the talking you asked.

“Where’s Poe?”

“BB8 said he went out on a mission. He said he couldn’t say anything.” You nodded, whatever had Leia busy was probably the mission that Poe was sent out on. You were surprised BB8 didn’t go with him. You hopped his mission was going ok, you found yourself worrying.

You finished your food and said your goodbyes. You got back to your room and collapsed onto your bed. It was very comfortable and you drifted off to sleep thinking of Poe.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe's still not back and your worry for him grows.

The next morning you got up at dawn again. You got ready and went to the mess hall to grab some breakfast. You ate the food on the way to where Rey trains. No one was there when you arrived so you sat down and meditated while you waited. You sat there for about an hour before you felt two presences in the force approach you. You opened you eyes, stood before you was Luke and Rey.

Luke held out a training saber, a stick, to you. You took it and got up. “Rey said you would be here. You can spar with her.” He gave the other stick to Rey. For the rest of the morning you and Rey practiced, Luke giving direction here and there. Rey keep up well but she obviously lacked training. Luke took Rey’s stick and said that was enough. It was time for her to meditate by herself. She sat down and you went to hand your stick to Luke. He shook his head. “Rey is going try to meditate while we spar. It will be a good distraction for her to try and shut out. Also, I get to see how well the pupil does against the teacher.” You smiled at him and got ready.

His attacks were slow at first, he seemed to be watching for how you reacted. After a while of that he suddenly started to give it all he had. You had some trouble keeping up with him. He was stronger but you were learning you were quicker. You reflected each of his hits and he reflected yours. The only sounds were the clanking of sticks and both of your breathing. You keep up for a while but you were getting tired. Your moves were getting slower and your focus was slipping. You barely reflected Luke’s hit and then you made a wrong move. He caught it and got passed you, he won.

“Your speed is good and your shielding made it harder to get past you. You made a wrong move there at the end though.”

“I know. I was getting tired and let it distract me.” He nodded and smiled.

“You did great, and you…” Then he turned to Rey who had ended up watching the whole time. “You owe me five laps around the whole base.” Her face fell but she got up.

“I’ll join you.” You said and she brightened up a little. Luke handed you a canteen and you slung it around you shoulders. Then you and Rey took off.

 

You got out of the shower and collapsed on to your bed. After you and Rey got back from the run, Luke had you both spar again. Afterwards you all meditated and you tried to teach Rey how to use the force to relive some of the pain from training. You were mentally and physically exhausted. You ate dinner again with Rey and Finn. Poe still wasn’t back and your worry for him grew. You thought about going to speak to Leia tomorrow. You got ready for bed and feel asleep thinking of Poe again.

 

The next day you trained with Rey again. This day had more sparring and more running. Rey was getting better which meant it was getting harder on you. You can imagine her getting better than you or Luke, she’s strong. Her meditating was getting a lot better. Yours was getting worse. Poe still wasn’t back and you found yourself constantly thinking about him. You tried to talk to Leia but she was in the command center. When you walked over there someone turned you away saying she was too busy.

You collapsed on your bed after your shower just like you did every night now. You really wanted to sleep but you keep laying there thinking of Poe. What if something happen to him? He had been captured before, what if he got captured again? Maybe he needs help, your help. Your mind wouldn’t stop. Suddenly you had enough, you sat up and braided your hair. You quickly got dressed and left for Leia’s room. You knocked on her door but there was no answer. You went to the command center there was the guy who had turned you away before.

He gave you a apologetic smile, “I’m sorry no one is allowed in there.” You turned away to leave but changed your mind and turned back around. He gave you a weird look. You hated doing this to people but you were left with little options.

“You will let me through, and you will forget you seen me.” He stepped aside and you walked into the command center.

There was a group of important looking people among Leia standing around the big table. Leia looked up and gave you a puzzled. She excused herself and came over to you.

“How did you get in here?”

“I have my ways. What’s going on?” She eyed you suspiciously but she was to busy to ask.

“I can’t talk now.”

“Leia, tell me whats going on. You should include me in this stuff, I want to help. Is it Poe?” She pinched the bridge of her noise and sighed.

“Fine. I need to sit down anyways.” She lead you to the conference room and you both sat down. “After Ben was injured at Starkiller he went into hiding. We got word from someone where he is hiding. We sent Poe to check it out. We were following his ships movements but when he was approaching the planet he disappeared from our map. He was suppose to land out of site and then report what he saw. We haven’t heard from him and he isn’t back yet. We can’t risk a full blown attack and we don’t have anyone to go in after him on a stealth mission.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me? Send me.”

“What? No, no.”

“Why not? Leia I’m the best choice for this.”

“I… (Y/N), I don’t want anything to happen to you. You would be too close to Ben.” The stress and worry of the last few days showed on her face. You grabbed her hand.

“Leia, I need to go. I’m always shielding myself no one would even know I’m there.” She nodded, you knew she was running out of objections.

“I don’t want you to but what other choice do I have. I can’t just leave Dameron…You would just bug me until I let you go anyways. You know the ship Poe picked you up in, can you fly it?” You nodded, you didn’t like flying but you could do it. “Okay. Are you ready to go?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s go show you where your going and what your plan of action will be.”

 

It was a long trip to the planet. You approached the planet making sure to follow the map and take the same path Poe took. The planet was suppose to be uninhabited except for the secret First Order base Ben was said to be hiding at. The planet was mostly thick forest, which would be good for hiding. You got close to where Poe’s ship disappears on the map and landed in a very small clearing, it was tight.

You got out and in the distance you could see something through the trees, it looked like a crashed ship. You ran and found yourself standing in front of a partially destroyed x-wing. It must of got shot down and crash landed. There was no one in the ship. You felt out into the force looking for any life signs. You felt one faint but close and you felt another that was farther away but was was strong in the force. It was familiar but different, Ben. You hoped your shield was doing it's job.You started walking in the direction you sensed Poe was. It wasn’t long before you seen a crumpled figure laying on their side on the ground.

“Poe!” You yelled out and started running. “No, no, no, no. Be alright, be alright!” You started to cry and you bent down beside him. You pulled him onto his back. You took a deep breathe, he was breathing. “Thank the force!” He didn’t look that bad. He had some cuts and bruises but he was really pale. Then you noticed the large gash on his thigh. You started to gentle shake him and he stirred. His eyes finally opened and he had a funny smile on his face. Oh thank the force you keep thinking.

“(Y/N).” His voice was very horse. “I knew I was dead but where is he?” He looked around.

You laughed, “No Poe, you’re alive. I need you to stay with me, I’m going to take you back to the base.” His eyes shot open and his hand went to your cheek.

“You’re actually here?” You nodded and smiled widely. He smiled just as wide causing his cracked lips to split and he brushed your tears away with his thumb. The he tried to sit up and his hand moved to your shoulder for leverage.

“Be careful Poe.” He put his arm around your shoulder and you pulled him up. He grunted in pain. “I’m sorry Poe. It’s a little bit of a walk to the ship. Lean on me, I got you.” He leaned into you and limped forward. It was a long and slow walk back to the ship. It was silent all except for Poe’s grunts.

You tried to get him into the passenger ship and he started to protest. “No, I need to fly.”

“Poe, you are in no shape to fly. I got it.”

“You can fly?” He asked you with such surprise.

“Well I had to get here some how, didn’t I?” You asked with a laugh. He mumbled something like I guess and got into the ship. You gathered he didn’t get flown around by others very often. He slumped against the seat and closed his eyes. You could tell he was still breathing and you sighed out of relief. He was alive, you haven’t known this man long but you already cared deeply for him. Suddenly, you thought of another man you might still care for. You were confused but you knew one thing. You looked out towards the direction Ben was in before you got into the ship. “I’ll be back Ben, I promise.” You whispered and climbed into the ship. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> {WARNING: Mention of abuse. It's in the readers backstory if you wish to avoid it.}
> 
>  
> 
> Poe's back safe and you both make a confession.

It had been a day since you got back to the base and you were on your way to the medical ward. As soon as you landed yesterday Leia greeted you and they rushed Poe off to the medical ward. You could see the relief on her face at seeing you both safely back. You tried to follow Poe but Leia said you couldn’t see him for at least a day. So this morning you got ready and headed straight to him. You had to make sure he was alright.

You asked a nurse where his room was and she pointed the way. You opened his door and found a sleeping Poe. You were relived to see him looking much better today. His cuts had been cleaned and the color in his face was back to normal. You couldn’t tell how his leg was though since he had a sheet over him. You quietly shut the door and dragged a chair over to the side of his bed. You held the hand that was close to you and focused on the force. You tried to direct it towards Poe, willing it to heal him.

“You’re cute when you concentrate.” Your eyes flew open.

“Poe!” He smiled at you. “You scared me you know.” You lowered your voice.

“You were worried about me?” Poe gave you a cheeky smile and you blushed. “Sorry (Y/N). Thank you for saving me.”

“Anytime Poe... What happened anyways?” You hadn’t released you were still holding his hand until he returned your grip. He was staring at you so intensely your face blushed deeper and you felt your stomach do a flip.

“When I got close to the planet something locked on to me and I couldn’t shake it. It hit my ship and I crash landed. I got knocked out for who knows how long and when I woke I had that gash in my leg. I figured the first order would be coming to get me so I got out of the ship and tried to hide. You seen I didn’t get to far. No one came for me though, except you…You know, when I was laying on that planet I thought about two people. You were one of them.” He laid his head back and closed his eyes. “I keep thinking how I just met you and now I wouldn’t be able to get to know you. I thought I was never going to see you again and I wan’t ok with that. Then I seen you and I thought I must be dead. You were really there though, saving me. I like you (Y/N), a lot.” He opened his eyes and looked to see your reaction.

Your heart skipped a beat. Your stomach was in a knot. You liked him a lot too, it killed you when you seen laying on the ground. “I… Poe, I like you a lot too.” The biggest fucking grin broke out on his face and he closed his eyes agin. “Poe there’s something I need to tell you though. No response, “Poe?” He feel asleep, his grip on your hand had loosened. You let go of his hand and rubbed your face. You think you understood now what Leia meant about being careful. Too many confusing feelings were going on inside you. You got up quickly hoping to leave before he woke up again. You rushed out of his room and ran right into Finn and Rey.

“Woah (Y/N), slow down.” Finn said.

“Sorry guys, I just have to get some where.” You speed off past them, leaving the weird looks on their faces behind you. You didn’t know where you were going, you just wanted to be away from here. You need to clear your head.

 

You sat down in the grass where Luke always meditates. You were in full panic mode. Why did everything have to be so confusing. You couldn’t get your breathing to slow. Thoughts were rushing around in your head. You couldn’t fall in love with someone else, when you still loved Ben. How could you do that, could you? You keep telling yourself Ben’s different but it doesn’t change how you feel, it never has. You let the moment back there get to you, you shouldn’t of told Poe you liked him. It’s not fair to him to lead him on when you’re still in love with your husband. Maybe he wouldn’t even remember, he seemed pretty drugged up.

“Ugh!” You called out into the sky.

“(Y/N)?” You whipped your head around and there was Luke. “I felt you in distress, you okay?” He sat down in front of you concern on his face.

You tried to process his words. “You felt me…but my shield. It’s gone?” You looked at Luke in awe. At some point you had stopped shielding yourself. You felt so much lighter, it was amazing. You had been shielding yourself for years. You let out a large sigh.

“Feels good doesn’t it?” You just nodded. “I felt your presence back in the force and then I felt your distress. What’s wrong?”

“I… Luke, my feelings are twisting me up inside. My own emotions, do I love Ben, can I still love him. It’s tearing me up inside. I think I know how to unknot my feelings but… you and Leia think it’s a bad idea. I need to figure it out because… now I believe I have feelings for another also.” He put his hand on your arm.

“You want to go confront him. I don’t like the idea but you can’t have your emotions like that. It’s not good for a Jedi, it leads them astray.” You were looking down, he moved his hand to your chin and made you look up at him. “I hate to see you like this. I… I was worried about Ben for a long time. So when you married I was nervous. You were so happy though, how could I intervene? You were good for him as well. You need to figure out what will make you happy again. If it’s Ben or Poe or both.”

You gasped and he released your chin. “How do you know about Poe?”

“I talk with Leia, she notices things as do I.” You realized what else he had said.

“Wait… both?” He just shrugged.

“I care greatly for you. I just got you back from the dead and I don’t want to loose you again. Leia doesn’t either, she’s lost to much family to loose you too. We also want you to be happy and at peace. I think you need to go to him… I think you should confront Ben.” You can’t believe he said that. You thought he would never believe it was a good idea. “Leia worries about your safety if you go to him, she will never agree. You would have to sneak away, I could help.” You might get to see Ben after all these years. The thought made your heart skip a beat and your stomach drop. You were scared and excited. You stood up and Luke did also. You gave Luke a big hug and he returned it tightly.

“Thank you. For everything you’ve ever done for me. I love you Luke, you’ve been a farther to me all these years. An annoying father but still a father.” You going and nudged him in the side with your elbow. 

“I love you too. Please be safe.”

“I will.” He nodded and walked away. You sat back down and worked on putting your shield back up. You didn’t want Ben or Snoke to be able to find you in the force.

 

Once you had your shield back up and to the strength it was before you headed back to the medbay. This time when you opened Poe’s door he was sitting up wide awake.

“Hi Poe.”

“(Y/N), you’re back.” He smiled at you and you weakly returned it. You sat down in the chair that was still were you left it.

“So you remember I was here.” He rubbed the back of his neck and laughed gently.

“Yeah, sorry I fell asleep on you especially after you told me you liked me too. A lot, as I remember.” He smiled at you slyly and you rolled your eyes.

“Poe, I need to talk to you.” He got concerned at the seriousness in your voice.

“Is something wrong?” You looked down at your hands and twisted the ring.

“Not exactly. I… I think you need to hear why I hid. Do you have time?” You looked up at him. He still looked concerned but he also had a kind smile.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You nervously laughed.

“Yeah… Well, hmm… Were do I even start?” You laughed nervously again. “It might be a long story, it would be better if I start at the very beginning.” He looked over at you with a serious look on his face.

“I’d like to hear it all if you want to tell it.” You nodded and began.

“Well my mom died while she gave birth to me so it was just me and my dad. I believe he was a good man before I was born but he took the loss of my mother hard. He blamed me and he turned to drinking and gambling. He owned a cantina and all I would do was clean the place. I hated it… My dad would gamble and drink every night. If he had a really bad night he would take it out on me before passing out. The-“

“He hit you?” You looked over at Poe and he looked very angry and his hands went into fists. You nodded and gripped his hand.

“It’s ok, it was a long time ago and I’ve forgiven my father. I still never want to see him again though.” You looked back down and Poe linked his fingers with yours.

“The only escape I had was when this older couple would come in. They would always request I wait on them and when my dad wasn’t paying attention they would tell me stories. Stories about the Empire and the Rebellion. Stories about Jedi and Sith. Stories about the First Order and the Resistance. They were so nice and I lived for the stories they told. I would dream about the stories they told. Dream about leaving to join the resistance.

There was one night when I was about eleven, and my dad was gambling with a Hut… He was losing horribly but he wouldn’t stop. Finally, he ran out of stuff to gamble so he put me in the pot as a slave.” Poe gripped your hand tighter. “He lost of course, so that was it. I was to leave with the Huts in the next day. I ran to the couple and cried my eyes out. Thank the force they were there that night. They told me that I needed to run away. They said there was a ship leaving early in the morning that I could sneak on. They said then I needed to find a way to D’Qar, that the resistance was there and they would help me. That night after my dad passed out I packed a bag and waited till it was time to sneak out.

I was able to sneak on and off the ship without being noticed. It landed in a small village on some planet I didn’t know. The village had a cantina and I figured that would be a good place to find someone who could get me to D’Qar. I was about to walk in when a man got shoved out of the place and ran into me. He said, sorry kid and started to walk away. Then a wookie walked out and followed him. Soon after the owner of the place stuck his head out and yelled, I better not see you back here Han Solo. I knew that name, it was in the stories I heard. He had been apart of the rebellion. I thought maybe he could get me to D’Qar, so I ran after him.

He told me to get lost of course. I wan’t going to though, I was determined to get to D’Qar. I told him I had heard stories of what he did, that he was a legend. He wasn’t listening to me though. Finally, I blurted out about how my father sold me to the Huts and the only place I knew where I could be safe was the resistance. He stopped and looked at me, he asked how old I was and he asked if my dad really sold me to the huts, I nodded. That’s when he gave in, with some convincing form chewie, and said he would take me D’Qar. I was so happy, I thanked him over and over again even though he told me not too.

When we made it to D’Qar he took me to Leia. I told her all about my life including the couple and stories they told. She told me then that I was force sensitive and that it was no coincidence that I ran into Han and ended up there. She let me stay with her and Han and she taught me all the things I didn’t know, which was a lot since I had never had any formal teaching. I was with them for a couple years before she asked me if I wanted to go train with Luke. I was nervous about it and I didn’t want to leave them. I had finally found a home where I was loved. I thought about the stories of Jedi I grew up listening to though. I decided I would go and if I wanted to I could always come back. I never did go back, not until now.” You gripped your necklace with your other hand and continued.

When I got there I was miserable for a long time. I didn’t know anyone and I wasn’t sure about Luke. We butted heads right from the beginning. He knew Leia and Han cared for me so he tried to care for me too. Eventually we warmed up to each other but we never stopped fighting. The first person I met beside Luke was Ben Solo, Han and Leia’s son. We quickly became best friends and we were inseparable. Then as we got older it turned to love…” You let go of Poe’s hand and started to twist your ring. “We got married and things were really good usually… Ben had problems with his anger and he confused he wanted to join the dark side. I told him I would help him fight the pull to the dark side but I don’t think thats what he wanted. I thought I was helping him but he never told me Snoke was influencing him… Then came the night that Kylo Ren attacked.” Poe tensed up and his face got red. “Poe are you ok?” You put your hand against his forehead wondering if he was sick. He took your hand away and faintly smiled at you.

“I’m fine, it’s just… It’s nothing, please keep going. I didn’t mean for you to stop. ” You were slightly worried about him but you continued.

“I lost Ben that night to the dark side. I ran away, I didn’t know how to face who Ben had become and what he had done….” You trailed off and braved a look at his face. You could see the wheels turning in his head.

“Kylo Ren is Ben Solo? You’re married to him.” He whispered and his face was red again. You looked down at your hands nodding. Poe grabbed your hand again and squeezed it.

“That’s the ring he gave you isn’t it?” He looked down at your hand and back to you.

“It is… I think I still love him, but I know that he’s not the same… I don’t know what to do. He’s different but I might still be able to love him. Even though he’s done things…” Poe just nodded, you couldn’t gage the look on his face. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for (Y/N). You can’t help who you love or who you like.” He looked away bitting his lip, and his face got even redder.

“Poe are you sure you’re feeling ok? You’re face is really red, should I get a nurse?”

“No no, I’m fine, really.” He rubbed the back of his neck still not looking at you.

“Poe I wanted to tell you all this because I do like you. Even though thats not really fair of me. I’m so messed up. I need to get my feelings in order, so… I’m going to go to him, soon.” Poe looked at you.

“You have to be careful he’s troubled, he could kill you.” You flinched. “Especially if Snoke is influencing him.”

“I know but I have no other choice.”

“Are you going to come back?”

“Yes, no matter what I decide I will be back. The resistance is my home, I’m not giving that up for anything.” He smiled widely at you, obviously happy with your answer. You let go of his hand and stood up. Poe grabbed your wrist.

“Kiss me.” It was barely audible but you heard him. You leaned down and kissed his cheek. He turned before you could pull way and kissed your mouth. He reached up with his hand that wasn’t holding your wrist and put it on your cheek. It was a light sweet kiss but it still took your breathe away. His lips were chapped but you didn’t care. You felt a spark inside you. Your stomach grew warm and the warmth was spreading. You leaned into the kiss and ran your hand that wasn’t restricted through his hair. The kiss grew deeper, you didn’t want it to stop. You loved how his lips felt and tasted. It was different from your memories of kisses with Ben but just as good. It lasted a while but eventually Poe pulled away. He keep you close and whispered against your lips. “Go do what you have too. I’ll be here waiting for you, for whatever you decide…” He let you go and you walked out the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader finally confronts Ben after all these years.

You walked into your room and collapsed onto your bed. Your mind was racing, your hand went up to your lips. You could see yourself falling in love with Poe, having a good life with him and the resistance. Then you thought of Ben, you were still married and the more you thought of him the more you felt love for him. You thought of both of them. Why did your feelings for them have to be fighting inside of you? You didn’t want to choice. You thought of how Luke had said both like it was an option. You quickly pushed it out of your mind. You weren’t even sure Ben still loved you. You always remembered the good things about Ben. You never allowed yourself to remember the bad… A memory that you had pushed way down started to resurface.

 

 

_You slowly approached Ben’s room. You heard things crashing against the walls. You approached the door and it slid open. You ducked and something flew above your head barely missing you. It crashed into the hallway wall. You stood up and stared at Ben in shock._

_“(Y/N), I’m sorry… Leave please.” His voice was quiet but forceful. You walked behind you to look at what he had thrown. You couldn’t believe he threw this. You picked up his wedding ring and stormed back into his room. The door slid shut behind you._

_“Why?!” You were furious and confused. Why would he throw this?_

_“I-“_

_“You what Ben! Do you not love me anymore?! For the past month you’ve been avoiding me! I’m your wife you’re suppose to talk to me! Now I come here and see you throw a symbol of that love like it means nothing to you! What happened to you?!” You yelled at him and he refused to look at you. “Look at me!”_

_“I don’t belong here (Y/N).” He whispered with anger in his voice. “Which means… I don’t belong with you, I can’t be with you.”_

_“Why, do you not love me?” You made sure your voice was soft this time. You walked closer but still keep your space._

_“I need to leave and you won’t want to come with me. You shouldn’t anyways, you would just be a distraction.”_

_“A distraction? Is that all your wife is to you these days, a distraction?” You struggled to keep your voice calm. What was he saying._

_“I’ve been thinking.” He finally looked at you, his face showing no emotion now. “Maybe it’s best if you’re not my wife anymore.” You took a sudden rush of air in and held it. What, what did he just say? Ben’s face turned to worry and he reached his hand out to you but he stayed where he was. “(Y/N)! Breathe! You’re turning blue!” You gasped for air and put your hands on your knees. You took a few seconds to catch your breath._

_“Well… If thats how you feel.” You stood up and tried your best to keep your voice and face calm. “I know your struggling with the dark side, Ben. I no you want to leave. That doesn’t mean you have to leave me but if you really don’t love me… Then I guess there’s nothing else I can do.” You threw the ring at him and walked out of the room. Once the door closed you ran down the hall and around the corner. You stopped and fell down on the floor.Your chest hurt and you started sobbing. He just broke your heart._

 

 

You didn’t know then but that was the last time you would talk to Ben. Three days later you would be on Dagobah, and it would just be a painful memory. You stared at the ceiling and your head continued to spin in circles.

“Ugh!” You yelled out and sat up. You couldn’t keep thinking about this stuff, it was just driving you crazy. You guess you could try and sleep. That way you wouldn’t have to think about anything. You laid down and just ended up staring at the wall until you heard a knock on the door. You got up and opened the door but no one was there. You peeked down the hall but there was no one. There was something on the floor though. You picked up a folded piece of paper and some grey material. You went back to your room, threw the material down onto the bed and opened the paper. It was a note.

“Spot 17 on the landing strip. Leave at midnight. Every Jedi needs a robe and a Gray Jedi deserves a grey robe. It should help you stay in the shadows as well. Be careful (Y/N), and please come back to us. May the force be with you. Luke.”

You put the paper down and picked up the robe. It was kind of heavy but it fit you well. It was a kind gesture. He didn't agree with the way of the grey Jedi but he respected you. You looked at the time, you still had a while before midnight. It was late but there’s a chance you could go get some food. You weren’t hungry but you haven’t eaten all day. You took the robe off and headed for the mess hall. When you got there it was just about to close but they let you grab a couple things. You took them back to your room to eat them and to wait till midnight.

 

You landed on the planet in the same spot as before. You climbed out of the x-wing and put the hood of your robe up. You headed towards the crashed x-wing. You closed your eyes and felt out into the force, he’s still here. You keep walking till you could see a building through the thick trees. You didn’t see any stormtroopers outside of it but who knew how many were inside. It didn’t look like what you had imagined a First Order base would look like. It seemed more like a house than a base.

The best way to do this would be to get him to come to you. You made sure you were back in the shadows and out of view of the building. You put your shield down. Then you reached out into the force. “Ben. Ben come to me.” You got no response so you felt into the force again. He seemed to be getting closer. A few minutes passed and he was almost to you. You opened you eyes and waited.You let your hood hide your face.

“Who are you?” A robotic voice spoke. You looked up and removed your hood. You seen a tall man standing a couple feet in front of you in all black. He had a mask on but you knew it was Ben.

“Hello Ben.” There was no answer so you moved forward an inch. He stepped back and put his hand up. You found yourself froze by the force. “Is that any way to treat your wife?” You strained to say.

“My wife is dead. You are an imposter. A test from Snoke perhaps.”

“It’s me Ben, just because you were never good at shielding yourself doesn’t mean others can’t do it. You know I was always good at it. I’ve been shielding myself since that night. I never died I was just hiding. If I had died, it would of been the day you threw your wedding ring at me.” You thought you heard him sharply intake air.

“You can’t be, it’s been years. I’ve wanted to see you again for so long especially recently, this has to be a test.” You could hear the uncertainty in the robotic voice.

“I am here. I didn’t want to be found until recently. I didn’t want to face you and what you’ve done…what you were going to do. Please, Ben it’s me. How can I prove it to you.” You pleaded, how will he believe you.

“There’s somethings I’ve hidden from Snoke. Some memories of us… sexual ones.” His voice got quiet and you couldn’t help but smirk.

“When we made love and you had finally taken off all your clothes I make you stand there before me.” He released you and you took a step forward. “I would stare at you as you turned away and blushed. You would stand there until I called you back to me. I could watch you like that forever, you were memorizing.”

“(Y/N)?”

“It’s me Ben, please take your helmet off. Let me see your face, it’s been so long.” He slowly lifted his hands and pulled his helmet off. He was older but still incredibly handsome, he took your breathe away. He refused to show emotion, just like the last time you spoke. You slowly stepped closer till you could reach out and touch his cheek. He didn’t move away from you or stop you. His eyes closed at your touch. He opened them up back up and his face was still void of emotions.

“Why are you here?” He asked in a cold voice.

“What do you mean Ben?” He cringed at his name.

“Why are you here? You’ve been gone so long, letting me believe you were dead. I know you didn’t have a change of heart and now you wish to join me. I don’t think you’re stupid enough to think I would leave with you either.” You dropped your hand, his words were harsh and bitter.

‘I… I need to know, do you still love me?” He didn’t say anything. “Speak to me. I’m still your wife you can’t hide from me.”

“Oh like you hid from me.” The anger laced his words, you cringed back from him.

“I was scared what did you expect me to do! I thought you could have hurt me too.”

“I would never hurt you. You couldn’t accept me.” His anger was gone.

“You never gave me a choice! I loved you and I’m a Gray Jedi! If anyone was to understand and accept you it would be me! But you made it so you went down a path I couldn’t follow! You broke my heart the day you said you couldn’t be with me! The day I realized you stopped loving me…” He put his helmet on the ground and took his gloves off. He held up his left hand and there on his ring finger was his wedding ring.

“It hasn’t left me finger since you threw it back at me that day. I never stopped loving you but I couldn’t stand the thought of how you would look at me after I did what I was going to do. I loved you too much to have you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you. I can’t, it’s impossible. Believe me I tried. I thought hating you would be easier than loving you. I never really stopped loving you though. I don’t like the things you’ve done. I can’t ever agree with them but I can never hate you. No matter what you do, I can never hate you.” He dropped his gloves and grabbed both sides of your face. You were scared and he could tell.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” He whispered and his face got softer. He leaned down and kissed you. As soon as his lips touched yours your hands flew around his neck. He felt and tasted just how you had remembered. You leaned into the kiss and sucked his bottom lip. He moaned into your mouth and his hands moved to grip your hips. He pulled you against him. He pulled away slightly and you moaned out his old name.

“That’s not my name…” His face was twisted in confusion.

“It’s who I married. It’s what I’ve always called you. It’s who you will always be to me.” You whispered against his lips. He pressed your foreheads together.

“I know but… I have changed (Y/N).” You melted when he said your name. He said it with such love. He pulled away from you and looked at the ground. “I killed my father.”

“I know… You did it to make yourself stronger, did it?” He shook his head and you thanked the force. You could see the regret on his face as he refused to look at you.

“No, it made me weaker. I hate myself for what I’ve done. I thought it would bring me closer to the dark and farther from the light. It didn’t though, it brought me closer to the light. I regret it so much. I’m not going back to the light though.” You stepped back towards him.

“Ben, will you look at me.”

“No, I don’t want to see your hate for what I did. I know how much he meant to you. I don’t blame you for hating me.” You reached up and forced Ben’s chin up so he was looking you in the eyes. All he could find on your face was love.

“Ben, I don’t hate you and I don’t blame you. I blame Snoke, he has been in your head so long. Some of your actions aren’t yours. Your love for me-.”

“That is all me.” You smiled.

“I know my love, I know.” He smiled and quickly kissed you. “Flowing through all, there is balance. There is no peace without a passion to create. There is no passion without peace to guide. Knowledge stagnates without the strength to act. Power blinds without the serenity to see. There is freedom in life. There is purpose in death. The Force is all things and I am the Force.” You recited the Gray Jedi code and Ben smiled wider. He kissed you a little deeper and longer this time.Your thoughts went to Poe.

You pushed away from him, he stared at you confused. “Ben…” You love Ben and he loves you. You were ecstatic but you still had feelings for Poe. This has solved nothing. “Did you find anyone while I was gone? Did you have feelings for anyone while I was gone?” You suddenly asked and his face blushed. “Who, when?” You whispered, not sure if you wanted to hear the answer.

“I’ve never loved or been with anyone since you but about a month ago there was a man…” His voice was low. You knew he was also attracted to men but it still surprised you. “It was someone from the resistance we captured. I didn’t know him well but there was something about him. He was attractive but it was more than that. I… I needed information from him and when I went into his mind I found he was attracted to me too. It was more than just a physical attraction for him also.”

“He was from the resistance? What happened?” He nodded and continued.

“One of our troopers helped him escape. I don’t know what happened to him. I haven’t been able to stop thinking of him.” You blanched, there was only one man you knew of that was rescued by a stormtrooper. It couldn’t be though. He miss read the look on your face.

“I’m sorry. I’ve loved only you but this man… I-“ You caught him off.

“Po- Poe Dameron. Was it Poe Dameron?” His eyes got wide.

“How do you know his name?!” He his voice raised in shock.

“I heard the stories of what has happened since my time on Dagobah. I know the story of Poe being rescued by a stormtrooper. I know Poe…”

“You do? So he’s alive… I heard the tie fighter he escaped in crashed.” His shock was now replaced with awe.

“Yes he’s alive…” You rubbed the back of your neck. Ben could tell something was still wrong. Your feelings for both of the men had been knotted up before and confusing. Now you found them mixing together perfectly at the thought of both, your face blushed very deeply.

“What? What’s wrong? I still love you.”

“No that’s not, I know my love. I… How in the galaxy do I say this?.” He waited for you to continue. “I found my self drawn to someone also just recently. We kissed, he likes me too. I love you but have feelings for him too. It’s Poe Dameron.” You blurted out the last part and your blush spread to your neck.

“Wha-What?!” His mouth dropped open. “The same man…” You walked back to him and put your hands on his chest.

“He likes us both…” You thought his face got even redder than yours. You looked down in thought. “Would that work? Could you really have both?” The thought of a polyamorous relationship wasn’t what you couldn’t wrap your head around. You’ve seen them before and had no objections to them. It was the fact that you could have both of them. That it might be able to work. If you and Poe could get passed what Ben would do in his spare time-

“Can you bring him here?” You looked up at Ben in shock. His face was still beet red. You bit back a laugh thinking of the time Luke had walked in on you two. He noticed you trying not to laugh. His face soured. “What?”

“I was just thinking about how red you said Luke’s face had gotten when he walked in on us that one time and how your face is probably redder right now.” He smiled but hide his face in his hands.

“So can you?” He mumbled into his hands and you reached up to remove them. You forced him to look in your eyes.

“I can try. Is that what you want? You want both of us. You could share us?” He nodded and grabbed both sides of your face again.

“I think I do… I… I don’t want you to feel like you’re not enough for me. That’s not-“ You caught him off again. You could tell his feelings were mirroring your own.

“I know, I feel the same way. It’s not that we don’t love each other, it’s that we have room for Poe. We are both drawn to him, and he may be drawn to us. Who knows the force could be pulling us together. My feelings for you too had been twisted before, now I find them fitting perfectly together. It’s kind of amazing actually.” You both smiled widely at each other.

“It is… we would have to talk. You both would have to decided if you could handle what I do… and who knows what Poe thinks about this…” You nodded. You loved the way he said Poe, it made your stomach flip.

“We wouldn’t leave the resistance. You would have to be fine with what we do too.” He nodded and a smile broke out on your face. “You would have to apologize to Poe too. You kind of shot him out of the air a few days ago.” His face fell.

“That was him! I didn’t know who it was I just sensed someone approaching the planet and there wasn’t suppose to be anyone.” The words rushed out and his voice was a little higher than normal.”

“I’m sure he will understand. I have to say this is not how I expected this trip to end up.” You both laughed and he put his hands back on both sides of your face.

“No… this day got interesting. I thought I would never see you again or love again but here you are. When you come back you can land by my ship. This is my home, there’s no one else here. You don’t have to shield yourself here either. It’s too far for Snoke to sense anyone.” He leaned down and kissed you briefly. “I’ve missed you. For so long I tried to forget the love I had for you because Snoke told me it would make me stronger. I never could, my love for you only grows not shrinks. Force I love you… I love you. Forever.” You smiled at the familiar phrase.

“I love you, forever.” You reached up and he closed the distance. You kissed deeply and lovingly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You talk to Poe about your relationship.

It was the next evening when you got back to the resistance base. You exited the ship and there was a little droid waiting for you. “Hey BB-8.” The droid angrily beeped at you.

“This is Poe’s new ship… Oh I know, I just test flew it. It flies great!” The droid caught onto your lie. “Yeah I’m sorry I lied. Look I had something I had to do and I didn’t know it was Poe’s new ship.” The droid beeped something at you, it seemed less angry. “The general’s looking for me huh? Alright, I’ll go talk to her.” BB-8 said he would lead the way so you followed him. You didn’t want to confront Leia but you weren’t even close to being ready to confront Poe.

BB-8 lead you to Leia’s quarters and then rolled away. “Thanks BB-8!” You called after the droid. You went to knock on the door but it slid open before you had a chance.

“(Y/N). Come in.” She sounded tense. You walked in and seen Luke sitting on the couch. You felt like you were about to get some serious parenting. Luke gave you a kind smile as you sat down next to him. Leia sat across form both of you. “So you went to Ben. You seem alright, so he didn’t hurt you?” Her voice was full of worry. You shook your head.

“No he didn’t hurt me at all. He still loves me and I still love him.” You don’t know if you wanted to continue. What if they turned you away once they found out you intend to be with Ben. They are your family, you couldn’t bare that. You didn’t even know if you should bring up Poe. “He said he’s not coming back to the light side but I’m going to be with him. I’ve come to accept that much of what he’s done has been Snoke messing around with his mind.” You looked away from her. “After he killed Han he felt remorse. He didn’t want to do it but Snoke convinced him too. Snoke said that if he killed his father it would make him stronger but it didn’t. It’s drawn him closer to the light. I want to be with him and it might be good for him.” You looked back at Leia. Her face showed no emotions, she just waited. “But I still want to be with the resistance and he knows this. We want to try and make it work. Could you accept me and trust me still? The resistance is my home, you both are my family, I don’t want to have to give that up.” You looked at both of them unable to gauge how they were feeling and it was killing you.

“You need to make your own decisions. If you being with Ben will make you happy then ok. The only thing I worry about is if he tries to sway you to the Dark Side. You are strong and I know you would never intentionally go over but it’s hard to stay in the middle like you have.” Luke said his voice and face full of sincerity.

“That’s just the thing. Being with Ben and the resistance would put me right in the middle. What better place to help keep the balance then there. Also, you both could keep an eye on me. If I start to change you can do whatever you need to do to stop me.”

“The bottom line is what you want and what will make you happy. It would be tough working for opposite sides.” Leia said with a kind smile.

“I know. I want Ben and…” You trailed off, you didn’t have to tell them about Poe.

“There’s something else, isn’t there. What is it?” Luke asked with eyebrows raised.

“Luke… How did you know?” He looked at you puzzled.

“What did I know?”

“You said both?” You whispered and looked at the floor. You bit your lip. He released your hand and chuckled.

“I wasn’t sure but I know you, I knew Ben, and I’ve seen Poe. Poe has reacted peculiar whenever the name Kylo Ren had been mentioned. It seemed like an option.”

“Have you talked to Poe yet.” Leia asked with a smirk. They both knew and seemed to be enjoying this.

“No I haven’t, I came straight here. Ben wants me to bring Poe back so we can all talk. Oh, that place isn’t a base by the way. It’s Ben’s home, there’s no one there but him and it’s out of Snokes reach.” Leia nodded and got up. You got up as well and she hugged you.

“I’m conflicted. I’ve always wanted you and Ben to be together. You are good for him but I worry he’s still too far gone. Maybe you and Poe can bring him back more to who he once was. Maybe not all the way, but at least a little.” You nodded into her shoulder.

“I love you guys.”

“We love you to. Now go talk to Poe, he got out of medical and it’s late enough he should be in his room. He’s room is two down from yours. He wasn’t too happy you choose his ship to take.” You and Leia both looked at Luke. He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck.

 

You stopped in front of Poe’s room.You put your hand up and lightly knocked. You waited a few seconds.

“Oh well guess he’s sleeping.” You mumbled and turned to leave when you heard the door slid open.

“(Y/N)?” You turned back around and there was Poe nervously smiling at you.

“Oh, I thought maybe you were asleep.”

“Nope, come on in.” You followed him in to see a room with the exact same layout as yours. He sat down on his bed with his back against the wall and he patted the bed next to him. You took off your robe and sat down next to him.

“So how’s you leg?”

“It’s good, pretty much healed I barely notice it. I was flight ready today and was going to check out my new ship.” He gave you a sideways glance.

“Sorry about that… To be fair I didn’t know whose ship it was. Luke told me what ship to take.” He laughed.

“It’s ok I got over it. BB-8 wasn’t to happy though… I’m glad to see you. You look ok, he didn’t hurt you?”

“No not at all. It went really good… We both love each other still. We realized something else too though.” Your felt your checks heating up. He just waited staring forward. “Why didn’t you tell me you like Ben?” He whipped his head to face you so fast he probably got whip lash.

“Wh-what?” He stammered obviously flustered.

“It came up and Ben was in your mind before, he knows. So you like us both? You like Ben even for who he is.” He looked away from you again and ran his hand through his hair.

“I… Yes, when he took his mask off I could tell there was more to him. I felt a pull towards him, just like the pull I feel towards you.” He turned to you to see you smiling widely. You were so happy with his response. You felt all the tension and fear from having to talk to Poe fade away. He still looked pained and awkward.

“You know Ben likes you too.” Poe’s mouth fell open. You put your hand on his knee. “We all like each other.”

“Really?” He whispered with a small smile. You nodded still grinning.

“Yup.” You couldn’t help yourself, you leaned in and placed a small kiss on his lips.

“I… Really?” He asked again with a dumb smile on his face. You laughed and nodded.

“Yes! Ben wants you to come back with me. Do you want to?” He nodded and his smile reached his eyes. Your stomach did a flip, it was so cute how happy he was.

“This is… Wow.” He leaned in and kissed you quickly. He pulled away with a thoughtful look on his face. “Ben knows we won’t leave the resistance right?” Your stomach flipped again when Poe said Ben’s name. You loved it just like when Ben had said Poe’s name.

“Yes, but we do need to talk. He’s not leaving the First Order and we’re not leaving the resistance. It will be an obstacle for sure but I think we can get past it.”

“I like your optimism.”

“Oh and Ben’s sorry he shot you down. He didn’t know who it was and when no ones expected he shots at anyone he senses.” Poe laughed lightly.

“I understand. No real harm done. In any case it brought us together.” He sighed and laid his head against the wall. “Both. I get both.” You smiled and leaned against the wall next to him letting your head fall on his shoulder. All this excitement has you worn out.

“That isn’t a First Order base.”

“Hmm?”

“Where Ben is, it isn’t a base. It’s his home. So when we go back we don’t have to sneak around. There’s no one there beside him, and it’s out of Snokes reach.”

“Really, that’s great. Wish it was a little closer to D’Qar though.”

“Yeah does take a long time to get there.”

“Have you talked to Leia about all this?”

“Yeah, seems her and Luke knew before any of us did.”

“Of course they did. I tell you that woman can see through anyone.” You laughed. “I have to check with her but if she gives me the ok, you want to leave tomorrow night.”

“Yeah, that would be great. It’s late I should probably go.” Poe grabbed your hand before you could move.

“Please don’t, I want you to stay.” You laughed.

“Poe I’m going to fall asleep.” He smiled, force you loved that smile.

“You can sleep here. Please stay.” He looked at you through lowered eyelashes. How could you say no to that? You laid back and snuggled up on his bed. He laid next to you on his side, propped up on his elbow. He started a story about a mission he had a few months back. As he spoke he ran his finger up and down your arm. You drifted off to sleep to the sound of Poe’s voice. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You train with Rey before leaving with Poe to go see Ben.

You opened your eyes and was a little surprised to see Poe’s bare back. It took you a second to remember you slept in his room last night. He seemed to still be asleep. You sat up and stretched, it was dawn. You got up and went to the bathroom. When you came back Poe was awake and facing you. You tried not to stare at his bare chest.

“Did you sleep ok?” He asked with a sleepy smile. His voice was a little deeper than usual and his hair was a little disheveled. You found sleepy Poe very cute. You sat down next to him.

“I slept very well. What about you?”

“I slept great.” He reached up and kissed you with a smile on his face. “Do you always get up this early?”

“I try to yeah. I should go, I want to to train with Rey today.”

“Okay, I guess.” He sighed dramatically. Then he put his hand around your waist and pulled you closer. You put both of your hands on his chest to brace yourself. He was surprisingly muscular for a pilot. He slowly reached up and brushed his lips against yours. Then he took your bottom lip between his and lightly sucked. You leaned in more and he sucked a little harder. He pulled away and you groaned making him sleepily chuckle. 

“I’ll come by your room when I’m done with training to find out if we’re leaving or not.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later.” You got up and grabbed your robe. He got up and hugged you tightly. You turned and waved goodbye before stepping out of his room.

You went back to your room and changed. You stomach grumbled so you figured it would be a good idea to get some food before heading to Rey’s training. When you got to the mess hall Rey was getting some food too.

“Hey Rey.”

“Hello (Y/N)! Are you going to join us today?” She smiled brightly when see seen you.

“Yeah, what’s on the schedule today?”

“Luke said he has some kind of training droid and I get to use a real light saber today!”

“That’s awesome! I always liked practicing with the training droids. It’s hard at first but I know you’ll get the hang of it quickly.” You both finished getting your food and Rey motioned towards an empty table.

“Do you want to eat together?”

“Sure.” You shot her friendly smile and she returned it. You sat down across from each other. You both ate in comfortable silence before anyone spoke. You liked being around Rey. You could see you both becoming good friends and you liked that. You’ve never had many friends and from what you heard she hasn’t either.

“Can I ask why you ran out of Poe’s room the other day?” Your face fell a little, you had forgotten about that. I guess if you are to be friends it won't hurt to tell her. 

“Poe told me he liked me and I freaked out a little.” You said shyly.

“Because you don’t have feelings for him? Because you can’t have feelings for him cause you’re a Jedi?”

“No, that wasn’t why.” You looked down at your left hand. You had moved your ring over to your left hand as soon you had left Ben.

“Why then?”

“I was confused… You see I’m still married to someone. I love them but I also like Poe.” You it was probably best not to tell her you your husband is.

“You’re married? I thought Jedi’s were against relationships.”

“Back in the day the Jedi console was against it, against any attachments. Honestly, I think it matters what’s best for you.” You shrugged. “I’m a Gray Jedi anyways, they have different thoughts than the light side or the dark side.”

“Luke talked a little about the Gray Jedi. They stay in the middle right? They believe dark and light should both exist.”

“Yes, they believe both are needed for the Force to be balanced. One should never out way the other though.” She nodded thoughtfully.

“Luke told me you were on Dagobah this whole time alone. That everybody thought you were dead. Where was your husband?”

“He thought I was dead also until recently. I just met with him the other day after all these years.”

“Did you break it to Poe…”

“Uh, yeah… We talked. You should ask him about it later.” Both of you had finished your food by now and you didn't want to continue. “We really need to get to training.” She looked at you suspiciously but nodded and got up to leave.

 

Luke was waiting for you when you and Rey arrived.

“Good morning. Are you joining us today (Y/N)?”

“Yup.”

“Alright, why don’t you show Rey how the training droid works.”

“Gladly.” You unhooked your saber from you belt as Luke picked up a helmet. He handed it to you and you put it on. You got in your stance and waited.

“She can’t see.” Rey said confused.

“Exactly, this isn’t just lightsaber training, it’s Force training. You can feel the Force flowing through you. You need to rely on that, not your eyes. Are you ready (Y/N)?” You activated your saber.

“It’s purple.” Rey said in awe and you smirked.

“Purple is what you get when you combined red and blue, the main colors of light side and dark side. Yes, I’m ready.” Luke activated the training droid and it started to buzz around. It shot out it’s first shot and you deflected it. It then shot out three more right in a row and you deflected them effortlessly. You continued for a while never missing before Luke said that was enough. You shut off your saber and hooked it back onto your hip.

“Alright, it’s your turn.” You said and handed the helmet to Rey. Luke handed her his saber.

“Use the force Rey.” Luke said and activated the droid. She activated the saber and got ready. The droid shot two consecutive shots and she missed both. She grunted in pain.

“Relax Rey, breathe.” You advised her and her helmet bobbed as she nodded. The droid shot out and she hit it.

“Good Rey.” Luke whispered. The droid then shot out three in a row and she deflected all of them. She continued for a while, missing some but hitting most. “That was very good Rey.” She was beaming.

“You were right (Y/N), that was fun.” You smiled.

“Time for running.” Luke said and you both groaned. Luke scowled at you both but then got a funny smirk on his face. “Maybe later me and (Y/N) can show you a real battle.” Rey got excited and you had to admit you did too. You’ve never had a real light saber battle with Luke.

“I’ll look forward to that.” You said while heading off for your run. Rey followed behind. When you got back Luke had everybody meditate. He said it wouldn’t be fair if you fought against him already tired. You all meditated for a long while before Luke said it was time.

You faced each other, sabers on and ready. You tired to feel Luke out in the force but you couldn’t find him.

“Your shielding yourself.” You said surprised.

“It’s only fair.” He said with a smirk.

You began to circle around each other. You made the first lunge and your sabers clashed. You retreated and Luke followed. He went for you this time and your sabers clashed again. Then you both got aggressive. There was the constant sounds of your sabers striking each other. You both were sweating and breathing fast. He was still stronger but you were still faster. At one point he caught your saber and pushed the two sabers back towards you. The sabers were right in front of your face, the heat was getting to be to much to bare. You knew you couldn’t use strength to get out of this. So you did a quick back flip to escape. Luke nodded approvingly and the dance began again. He would strike, then you would strike, back and forth. You were both getting tired you could tell. Neither of you had fought like this for a long time.

“You going to give up yet? You look really tired old man.” You teased him.

“No child, how about you?” He teased you back, you never liked being called child.

“Nope.” The teasing worked just like you had hoped. You quickly did a flip landing behind him and he knew you had him. He shut his light saber off and you did the same.

“You distracted me. Well done.” He turned to face you and he looked proud. It made you a little emotional to see him look at you like that.

“It was a great battle.” You bowed and he also bowed. You both turned to Rey and she was wide eyed staring at both of you.

“That was amazing.” You and Luke chuckled. Luke handed you and Rey a training saber. You hooked your saber back to your belt and began a battle with Rey.

 

It was dinner time by the time you took a shower and changed after training. You knocked on Poe’s door and he opened it right away.

“We can leave right now.” He said excitedly. You laughed.

“Great, can we get dinner first. I’m starving.” He chuckled and walked out his door.

“Work up an appetite today?”

“You have no idea.”

“Then tell me, I want to hear about your day.” You then went into all the details of your day as you walked to the mess hall.

“Sounds exciting and exhausting. Wish I could of seen your battle with Luke.” Poe commented as you walked into the mess hall. You both got your food and headed for the table Rey and Finn were sitting at. Today they were sitting next to each other, and very closely. You and Poe sat down across from them.

“Hey guys.” Poe said and the two greeted you both. You all ate and easily made chitchat. Until Rey asked Poe about what you and Rey had talked about at breakfast. You looked down and keep eating. You could see Poe give you a sideways glance out of the corner of your eye.

“She said to ask me, huh? Well… When (Y/N) talked to her husband they found out they both knew me and I guess I made an... _impression_ on them.” You snorted a little and tried to cover it up with a cough. “They made an impression on me also. So…” You could see Poe look at you for help and you stopped eating.

“So... we’re going to try and all be together.” Poe grabbed your hand and you smiled at each other.

“Like in a relationship?” Finn asked with complete innocence. Poe answered him.

“Yes. A relationship isn’t always just two people. It can be more, it just depends on the people.” Finn nodded thoughtfully.

“Relationship stuff is new to me.” Finn said matter of factly. Rey looked at him and smiled.

“Me too, but we’re figuring it out.” He nodded at her and took her hand. She turned to Poe with a puzzled look.

“It doesn’t bother you that they're married?” You looked at Poe wondering what his answer would be. You hadn’t thought to ask him that.

“Nope.” He responded without a second thought and it made a warmth spread inside you. Your face beamed and you kissed his cheek. After that you all finished up your food and continued your chitchat.

 

After dinner you and Poe walked back to his room. You sat down on Poe’s bed next to a bag.

“I packed a bag just in case. It’s a long ways there and I wasn’t sure how long we would be staying.”

“That’s a good idea. I don’t have a bag though.”

“I have an extra you can use.” Poe grabbed a bag out of his closet and handed it to you.

“Thanks.” He picked up his bag and you both walked to your room. He sat on your bed and watched you as you packed your bag. You grabbed some clothes and made a mental note to do laundry when you got back. You tried not to get embarrassed as you grabbed some underclothes. You went to the bathroom and grabbed all that you would need. You piled it into the bag and zipped it up. You slipped your favorite jacket on and picked the bag up.

“Ready?” You just nodded and headed towards the door. Your nerves were getting to you and you weren’t feeling very well. He picked his bag up and quickly followed after you. You walked in silence all the way to his x-wing.

“We’re taking this you asked?”

“Yup.”

“But it’s only got one seat.” He smirked at you and took your bag.

“We can squeeze.” He looked at you worriedly. “Hey I can try to get a different ship if it’s a problem.”

“No, the ship is fine.”

“Then what’s wrong? I can tell something’s wrong.”

“I’m just super nervous and excited. It’s kind of making me sick.” Poe smiled kindly and stepped closer to you. He set both the bags on the ground and placed his hands in yours.

“Hey I feel the same. I bet Ben is feeling that way too.” You smiled at him.

“Hey there’s that smile I love.” Poe leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. It was sweet and comforting kiss. You smiled against his mouth and pulled away. Poe released your hands, picked up the bags and climbed up the ladder to the ship. He stuffed the bags behind the seat and climbed in. “Come on up!” He called down to you. You climbed up and found him grinning like an idiot. He patted his lap. You rolled your eyes but smiled. You settled down in-between his legs and he put a helmet on you.

“I have to tell you something.”

“What?” Poe asked a little worriedly.

“I hate flying.”

“You what!? That’s… Really!?... Well you’ve never flown with me sweetheart. I’m the best pilot in the galaxy. With me you’ll love flying.” His confidence was so cute. He started up the ship and you flew away from the planet.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Poe arrive at Ben's home and there's more Ben/Reader smut.

When you approached the planet you dropped your shield and reached out to Ben in the force so he knew you were coming. He responded and you could feel his nervousness. Poe landed next to Ben’s ship and you climbed out. Poe grabbed your bags and followed.

“So, do you love flying now?”

“Poe, all those tricks you were doing to impress me did not make me like flying more.” His face fell and you immediately regretted saying it.

“But I do feel safer with you flying than I ever have.” He smiled widely and you internally sighed out of relief. It was true too, Poe was a great pilot.

You both walked towards what you assumed was the front door. You almost got to it when the door slid open and Ben was standing there. You were happy to see he looked more rested and in normal clothes this time. He was bare footed and wearing tight black pants with a tight white t-shirt. His shirt showed off his muscles perfectly and you wondered if he chose these clothes intentionally. You looked over at Poe, he had chose to wear tight blue pants and a tight gray shirt. You laughed to yourself a little, they both did this on purpose you’re sure. How did you get so lucky to have two amazingly handsome guys? Ben looked at you then at Poe and blushed. He stood by the door as you both walked in.

It was very bright and open inside which surprised you. You all stepped into one large room with the living room to the right and to your left was a long table with chairs around it. Passed the long table set back in it’s own area was a large kitchen. Straight ahead of you and to the right of the kitchen was a stairway that lead up. There was some doors to the right of the stairs. The upstairs looked down over the large room.

“You still have this jacket? Looks even better on you now.” Ben said in awe and you smiled shyly.

“This is really nice Ben.” You said as you took your boots and jacket off. You unhooked your saber and put it on top of your jacket.

“Yeah it is.” Poe agreed and shot Ben a dazzling smile. Ben looked away blushing.

“Thanks.” He mumbled. You forgot how shy Ben could be. Poe set down the bags and took his shoes off as well.

“So…” You started but didn’t know how to continue.

“Do I talk first or you talk first? I talk first?” Poe said and Ben laughed. You felt like you were missing out on a joke.

“That’s the first thing he said to me, the idiot.” Ben said with a smile. Poe laughed. Ben’s face fell and he looked pained. “Sorry about-“

Poe cut Ben off. “Ben it’s fine. We’re on opposite sides and we didn’t know each other. Let’s move on from the past.” Ben smiled slightly. You walked over to the couch and sat down in the middle. They followed and sat on either side of you.

“So you’re okay with me still being on the opposite side?” Ben asked, his face downcast.

“As long as you’re not the one whose pulling the trigger, or light saber I guess, at me and my friends I’m ok. We have different ideas… I’ll admit it’s hard to understand your side but…” Poe shrugged and smiled in Ben’s direction. Ben nodded but he still looked unsure. “So were you struck by my good looks right away or did I grow on you?” Poe looked over at Ben and teased. Poe started flirting probably trying to change the mood. Ben blushed and rubbed his neck.

“Right away.” He said quietly. “What about you?”

“As soon as you took your helmet off. Right away, definitely.” Ben smiled widely at that. You were enjoying this. Seeing them finally together made your stomach do flips. “What else about me did you like besides my dashing good looks?” Ben looked thoughtful.

“You were funny or at least you were trying to be.” Ben smirked. “You seemed loyal and strong willed. There was something about you, I wanted to know more about you. Same question to you?” Poe looked at Ben seriously.

“Your eyes struck me. I could tell there was more to you then you put off. I seen a sad and loneliness that I found myself wanting to take away. I also seen a kindness I wanted to get to know. You had barriers up and I wanted to break them down.” Ben stared at Poe in awe and want. Your stomach was doing summersaults at this point and your heart speed up. Poe reached out and took one of your hands and one of Ben’s. Ben then took your other hand in his empty one.

“Your answers were better than mine.” Ben said and Poe chuckled.

“I liked your answers. I like you.” You gulped.

“I like you.” Ben said quietly.

Poe turned to you. “I like you too.” You smiled and your stomach rumbled very loudly. Ben and Poe lightly laughed together and it was like music to your ears. “I think someone is hungry.”

“Come on, I’ll make lunch.” Ben said as he released both of your hands and got up. You and Poe followed behind him.

“Since when can you make food?” You asked.

“Hey, I happen to be an okay cook…” You rolled your eyes at him “I’m just making sandwiches ok.”

“Well it’s a good thing for both of you I happen to be an amazing cook. I will take up the job of making dinners.” Poe said proudly.

“Awe housewife Poe.” You teased and elbowed him in the side.

“Damn right.” You and Poe sat on the stools at the island as Ben went about making lunch.

“I’ll make sure to get you an apron.” Ben teased.

“As long as it says kiss the cook.” Poe responded and Ben blushed. “You’re cute when you blush.”

“He is, isn’t he.” Ben blushed deeper and tried to look busy making lunch.

“So Ben, what do you usually do around here?” Poe asked putting his elbows on the counter and leaning forward.

“Meditate.” Ben shrugged and Poe’s face fell.

“That’s it, meditate. Don’t you have anything you do on your time off? Have you ever just went out and explored the planet any?” Ben shook his head.

“Well we can do a little exploring together.” You said and Poe nodded.

“It’s a date.” Poe said cheerfully. Ben finished up the sandwiches and sat down next to Poe. You watched as Poe intentionally moved his leg so it was pressed against Ben’s leg. You did the same to Poe and he shot you a sly look. You all ate and then went back to the couch. Ben sat down on one end and you sat down sideways leaning on him. Poe picked your feet up sat down putting your feet in his lap. “So who said I love you first?” Poe asked.

“Ben did. We weren’t really together yet. We both had feelings for each other but we were to scared to acknowledged it. We were training together and he ended up falling on top of me. We stared at each other laughing and then we just stopped laughing. Then he just blurted it out and I kissed him. That was our first kiss too.” You leaned back to look up at Ben and he was smiling. He leaned down and kissed the top of your forehead. “When and who was your first kiss Poe?”

“Oh boy, let’s see. I was fourteen and I kissed this guy after our first date. It was awkward and pretty bad, at least he was cute.” You leaned forward and Poe leaned in to. He gave you a quick kiss. You wished Ben wasn’t behind you so you could see his reaction. You sat back and the three of you continued swapping stories from your childhood till dinner.

 

“Alright Ben, let’s see what you got in this place.” Now you and Ben sat on the stools and Poe looked around the kitchen trying to figure out what to make. “Oh that could work.” Poe mumbled to himself and he started grabbing things to start on making dinner. You and Ben just watched Poe memorized. He hummed as he cooked and slightly swung his hips to whatever he was humming. You stared at Poe and then you would stare at Ben who was staring at Poe. Poe finished making dinner and brought over the food. He sat down next to Ben and you took a bite.

“This is amazing Poe! You can cook for me anytime.” Ben took a bite and his eyes lit up.

“This is very good!”

Poe put a hand on Ben’s knee and leaned forward slightly to talk to you both. “I’m glad you like it.” Poe keep his hand on Ben’s knee for the whole dinner. You all helped clean up and it was pretty late by the time you finished. Poe stretched his arms out above his head and his shirt rode up slightly when he did. You and Ben both stared. “Well I need to go to bed, I’m spent.”

“I’ll show you to your room.” Ben said and he put his hand on Poe’s back. Ben grabbed Poe’s bag and you watched them head up the stairs. Ben took Poe to the third door and hugged Poe goodnight. The hugged lasted a long time and you could see the happy look on Poe’s face. They separated and said goodnight to each other. Poe called down to you goodnight and you yelled goodnight back up to him. Ben came back down the stairs and stood in front of you. “How about you?” You stepped closer to him and whispered seductively.

“I’m ready to go to the bedroom but I’m not ready to go to bed.” Ben gulped and nodded. He picked up your bag and hurried up the stairs. He lead you to the first door and opened it. You walked in and right in front of you was a huge king size bed. Which was pretty much all there was in the room. You looked up and there was a large window in the ceiling. It casted moon light down and you saw the sky full of stars.

“This is the closet.” He walked in a door on the left wall that lead to a big walk in closet and set your bag down. He came back out and put both hands on your hips. He leaned into your neck and gave you a couple kisses. Then he whispered in your ear. “It’s been a long time. I don’t know how well I’ll do or how long I’ll last.” You whispered back.

“You’ll be fine baby. I love you and I want you.” Ben suddenly picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. He took you over to the bed and laid you down. He then laid next to you and propped himself up on an elbow. His other hand grabbed onto your waist. Ben leaned down and kissed your noise. Then he kissed both of your cheeks and then both corners of your mouth. Finally, he brought his mouth down to yours. You reached up and wound your hands in his hair pulling him closer to you. Ben kissed you deeply and needy. You lightly nibbled his bottom lip and he moaned. He sucked your bottom lip till it was swollen. Ben slowly pushed his tongue into your mouth and you fought his tongue. Your tongues fought for dominance for a while before you gave up. He ran his tongue all over the inside of your mouth. His tongue than retreated and you pushed your tongue into his mouth. You ran your tongue slowly across the roof of his mouth and along his teeth.

Ben pulled away and went to your neck. You tilted your head so he had full access and he began planting little kisses all over your neck, sucking here and there. Your hands moved to his back and slid up under his shirt. Ben sat up and moved over on top of you. He pulled his shirt off and threw it. You ran your hands all along his chest. Ben slightly leaned back eyes closed enjoying your hands on his chest. Your hand ran across new and old scars.Your hands lingered around a large one on his side you were afraid to touch. It looked the newest, it must of been from the night Starkiller was destroyed. Your hands moved to his hips and stopped. He leaned back down to you and planted kisses on the other side of your neck. He sat up and is hands went to the bottom of your shirt. You helped him pull it over your head. Then he took your bra off and threw them both aside before looking back at you.

“You are so gorgeous my love. It’s been so long. I’ve missed you, missed this.” Ben whispered, you could see his love for you beaming from his face. His hands went to your stomach and ran up to your breasts. He slowly kneaded your breasts and you moaned. His hands then moved up and brushed lightly against your nipples. You gasped and he lightly pinched them. You let out a loud moan. He leaned down and sucked on each nipple. You moaned loudly and continually.“I love to hear you (Y/N).” You moved your hands to the front of his pants and rubbed against his bulge. Ben let out a loud moan and you smirked.

“I love to hear you too baby.” He got off of you and took of the rest of his clothes off. You propped up on an elbow to watch. “I’ve missed you so much.” Ben stood before you naked. He looked away embarrassed just like always and you moaned slightly. He was even more muscular than he was years ago and his cock was ready and hard. “Come back to me Ben.” You whispered and laid back down. He made his way over to you. Before he got back on the bed he took the rest of your clothes off. He settled in between your legs and stared at you now. He’s eyes racked your body and they were lovingly full of lust. He kissed down your stomach and stopped his face inches in front of your core. You felt his hot breathe against you. He kissed the inside of your thighs a few times.

Ben placed one of his hands firmly on your hip and the other hovered over your heat. He took a finger and ran it along you, causing you to shudder with pleasure. He brought it to his mouth and sucked. “You taste just as good as I remember, and you’re so wet for me.” He placed his hand on the inside of your thigh and slowly lowered his head down. He lightly sucked your clit and you moaned out his name. You could feel him smile against you. You grabbed his hair and pushed him against you. He swirled his tongue around you clit and small continuous moans came out of your mouth. Ben’s tongue traveled down to your slit and slid in. You let out a loud moan and gently pulled his hair. You felt him moan into you making your core vibrate. His tongue swirled around a while before it traveled back up. He flicked your clit with his tongue a few times. It was getting to be too much so you pulled his hair back gently. He moaned into you again before pulling away.

“Ben I want you.” Ben nodded and sat up. He teased your opening with his cock before slowly pushing it into you. He got all the way in you and laid down on you. You wrapped you legs around him and he began to slowly pull out. You moaned and squirmed at his pace. He kissed you deeply before he thrust back into you gently. The second time when he pulled out and back in he went a little faster and harder. You moved with him and he hit your spot. You moaned out his name and he made sure to hit the spot every time. He gradually quickened his pace with each thrust. He pressed your foreheads together. “I’m getting close baby.” You said in between moans.

“Me too (Y/N).” He speed up more and both of your breathing quickened. He moaned out your name. The warmth in your groin spread and your walls began to contract around Ben’s cock.

“Ben!” You moaned out as you came. He continued as you rode out your orgasm and he got closer to his. His dick spasmed inside you.

“(Y/N)!” He yelled out and you felt him spill inside you. He stopped thrusting but he didn’t move off of you. Both of your breathing began to slow and go back to normal. Ben looked in your eyes and his hand pushed your hair back. “I love you. Forever.” His lips crashed down against yours.

When he pulled away you said, “I love you, forever. See you did great baby.” He moved to lay next to you and pulled you against his chest. He pulled up the covers around you both. His hands went around you and his chin rested against the top of yours. You sighed out of content and Ben chuckled. “Goodnight.” You mumbled into his chest.

“Goodnight my love.” Ben said and kissed you on the top of the head. You fell asleep in each others arms.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three of you have a very fluffy day.

The next morning you woke up wrapped in Ben’s arms. You smiled and tried to slide out his grasp without waking him. It didn’t work, he groaned and pulled you back to him. “Baby I need to go to the bathroom.” He groaned again and held you tighter. You laughed and lightly pushed him away. He groaned again but released you and turned around. He never was a morning person. You threw on your underwear and Ben’s shirt. You grabbed your bag and headed to the bathroom.

The bathroom was very large. When you walked in you faced a long counter with a mirror just as long above it. Against the left wall was a huge tub, big enough for three people you thought with a smirk. To the right next to the counter was the toilet and across from that next to the door was a large shower with glass walls. Which was probably big enough for three people also. You took a long shower and got dressed. When you walked out of the bathroom you smelled food and heard talking coming from downstairs. You put your bag back in Ben’s room and walked downstairs. Ben and Poe were standing in the kitchen and there was food cooking. Ben just had black sweats on and Poe just had grey sweats on. You heart speed up a little. They both turned to you and smiled widely causing your breath to hitch.

“Good morning.” Poe said cheerful.

“Hey love.” Ben said.

“Hey boys, whatchya doing?” You asked and sat down on a stool. They both spoke at the same time.

“Making breakfast.” “Watching Poe make breakfast.” You laughed. Poe was humming again and Ben leaned back against the counter. He crossed his arms and flashed you a smile then went back to watching Poe.

“How did you sleep Poe?” You asked.

“Great. How about you guys?” Poe shot Ben a look and Ben blushed. You wondered if he heard you to last night. You didn’t get that loud…

“Great.” You responded and Ben nodded. Poe finished making breakfast and they sat down on either side of you. The breakfast was just as good as the dinner last night. You were going to get spoiled by Poe’s cooking. Ben finished his food and stood up.

“I need to take a shower.” He kissed you and then he went over to Poe. Ben leaned in and kissed Poe’s cheek. You gulped and watched Poe gulp as well. Ben hovered there for a second and spoke quietly against Poe’s cheek. “Thanks for breakfast.” Poe blushed and Ben began to walk away.

“Yo-Your welcome.” Poe stammered and ran a hand through his hair. Once Ben was in the bathroom you moved next to Poe. You raised your eyebrows up at him. “What?”

“What do you think? Are you happy?” Poe looked at you in shock.

“Yes I’m happy!” You laughed loudly and he leaned in towards you. “You both are amazing.” You kissed him and then pulled away smiling. Poe got a cheeky smile on his face. “So how was the sex? You’ve been away a long time.” He put emphasis on long and you felt it had two meanings.

You blushed and lightly hit his arm but answered, “Really good.” He pulled away from you and sighed happily. “Does that make you jealous at all?”

“Not at all… quiet the opposite actually.” You blushed happy with his answer.

After Ben was out of the bathroom, Poe went and got ready. When all of you were ready you decided to go explore the planet a little. Ben was in normal clothes again today but he had his saber hooked to his hip as did you.

“Are we hiking or flying?” You asked as you all got your boots on.

“I thought we’d hike.” Ben said and Poe nodded.

“Sounds good to me.” Poe said. You all headed in no particular direction. You were all just happy to be spending time together. You grabbed one of Ben’s hands and Poe grabbed the other. You all walked like that through the forest. It was pretty quiet except for the sounds of your voices. The three of you walked and talked for about a couple of hours when you reached a small pool of water that had a waterfall running down into it.

“It’s beautiful.” You said in awe. Poe started talking off his shirt.

“Who’s up for a swim?” Poe asked and took off his shoes.

“I’m game.” You said and took off your shirt. Ben followed both of your leads and took off his shirt. Poe keep looking between you and Ben as you all striped down. You and Ben were blushing.

“You both are beautiful.” Poe said. Before long you were all in your underclothes and Poe was stepping into the pool. “Mmm, it’s warm.” Poe cooed and floated onto his back. He waved his hand at you and Ben. “Come on.” You got in next and it was amazing. It was nice and warm. You ducked down till only your head was out of the water. Ben came in next and sighed once he was in the water.

Poe swam up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist hugging you. He kissed your cheek then he swam over behind Ben and did the same to him. Before Poe could move away Ben spun around to face him. Poe froze arms still wrapped around Ben. He looked worried he might have done something wrong but then Ben leaned in and kissed Poe lightly on the mouth. You stared at the two and moved closer. Ben moved back a little and smiled. Poe had a huge grin on his face. Poe moved his hands around Ben’s neck and pulled Ben in for another kiss, longer this time. Ben put his hands on both sides of Poe’s face and brushed his lips against Poe’s. You seen Poe’s breathing hitch. Your stomach flipped and a warmth spread within you. Watching the two kiss was just as good as kissing them yourself.

Poe released his grip from Ben’s neck and Ben’s hands fell from his face. Poe pulled you towards them and put his arm around your waist and Ben’s. Ben put one hand on Poe’s neck and one on your hip. You put a hand on Poe’s hip and Ben’s. You were all pulled close to each other, bodies almost touching. Poe leaned in and kissed you. It was a long sweet kiss. You could taste both of them on his lips and it was amazing. Ben seemed to be enjoying the view, he licked his lips. You pulled away and reached up to kiss Ben. His kiss lasted longer and he sucked at your lip a little. Ben pulled away and leaned down to Poe.

Ben ran his hand through Poe’s hair and Poe moaned. Ben brushed his lips against Poe’s again before he started sucking Poe’s bottom lip. Poe moaned into Ben’s mouth and that made Ben’s kiss deeper. After a little while Poe pulled away and his bottom lip was swollen. Poe turned to you and ran his tongue across your lips. Then he sucked your bottom lip before sticking his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues danced around each other before you sucked on Poe's tongue. He moaned into your mouth and pulled away. Then Ben leaned into Poe and forced his tongue into his mouth. Poe moaned loudly and his tongue fought to get into Ben’s mouth. Finally, Ben let Poe’s tongue in and Ben moaned. They pulled away they’re breathing was faster than normal. Poe looked between you and Ben with a sideways grin.

“Wow.” Poe whispered and the three of you chuckled.

“Maybe we should get out and dry off.” Ben suggested, face flushed. You all pulled away from each other and exited the pool. Ben laid down on his back with his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. You laid down and rested your head on Ben’s chest. Poe laid down and rest his head on Ben’s stomach. “I haven’t felt this at peace in a long time. Thank you, both of you.” Ben said softly never opening his eyes. You and Poe smiled at each other and Poe pressed your foreheads together. The three of you laid there in the sun for a long time. Eventually, you did get up and got dressed. Ben grabbed Poe’s hand and yours. You walked all the way back hand in hand talking about whatever. You could feel the happiness flow through everybody.

 

Poe fixed up something quick for dinner when you got back. After dinner Ben sat down on one end of the couch and Poe laid down across it with his head in Ben’s lap. You sat on the floor next to Ben’s legs and leaned back against the couch. Ben played with Poe’s hair and Poe played with yours.

“I know I haven’t known you both long but I’ve fallen hard.” You heard a kiss and turned around. Poe had craned his head up and Ben was leaning down. Their mouths were pressed together. Poe had his hand wound in Ben’s hair and was holding him down to lengthen the kiss. Eventually, Poe let go of Ben’s hair.

“I feel the same way.” Ben said and Poe looked to you as you got on your knees. You leaned down over him.

“Me too.” You said and kissed him. He smiled like he was the luckiest guy in the galaxy. Just then something started beeping from upstairs. You looked to Ben to ask what that was but before you could say anything Poe jumped up.

“Shit, thats my comlink. The general must need something.” With that Poe ran upstairs and you were brought back to reality. You sighed deeply and sat down next to Ben. He put his arm around you and pulled you to him.

“I forgot we have lives outside of this.” A life where there isn't just you, Ben and Poe. A life where you had to shield yourself constantly to feel safe.

“Me too.” Ben sounded angry so you took his other arm and ran your hand up and down it soothingly. When Poe came back his eyes were downcast. He plopped down next to you and you put your hand on his waist. You pulled Poe closer and Ben placed his hand on his back and made small circles.

“We have to leave tomorrow morning.” Poe finally said. You just nodded and stared at the floor. You sat there a little while before Ben got up and stood in front of the two of you holding his hands out. You and Poe grabbed a hand. Ben lead you to his bedroom door and stopped. He looked at the floor and spoke.

“Is it ok if we just sleep?” You knew it was mostly directed at Poe and so did Poe. Poe grabbed Ben’s chin and made him look at him.

“Of course. I’ll take whatever I can get and wait as long as you want. Just because we feel strongly for one another doesn’t mean we have to rush anything.” Ben blushed and Poe raised his feet up to plant a small kiss on Ben’s lips. Poe released Ben’s chin and Ben looked between you two.

“Or did you two want to be alone?” You smiled and shook your head.

“We get to be alone together at the resistance. Right now should be about all of us or just you two. I can sleep in the spare room tonight.” Both Poe and Ben shook their heads.

“I want both of you close.” Ben whispered and opened the door to his room.

“I’m going to go change.” Poe said and ducked into his room. You followed Ben into his bedroom and you both changed also. You settled on wearing just your underwear and one of Ben’s shirts. Ben wore just his black sweatpants and Poe came back in just his grey sweatpants. You all climbed into bed and Ben got in the middle of you and Poe. Ben turned on his side towards Poe and pulled him in against him. Poe snuggled up into Ben’s chest and hummed a sound of comfort. Ben rested his chin on top of Poe’s head and you pressed up against Ben’s back. You snuggled into his neck and draped an arm over him. Poe kissed your hand and held onto it. All three of you tangled your legs together. Ben ran his hand along Poe bare back and Poe made circles with his thumb on your hand. The three of you drifted off to sleep snuggled up together. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fluff and more Ben smut.

You woke up to someones arm draped over you. You turned your head slightly to see Poe’s disheveled hair. Poe was on his back one hand wrapped around Ben and the other draped over you. He was burying his head against your back. Ben was pretty much laying completely on top of Poe his arms wrapped around him. Sun light was cast across their bodies from the window in the ceiling. The sight was breath taking, you wish you could wake up every morning like this. You tired to move Poe’s hand and get up without waking up the two boys but failed. Poe stirred and gripped you tighter which caused Ben to stir. Ben groaned and held onto Poe tightly.

“I guess I’m not getting up.” You sighed.

“Nope.” Poe mumbled into your back and Ben just groaned again. You didn’t want to get up but you knew you had too.

“We have to get up sleepy heads.”

“No. What’s with you and getting up as soon as the sun rises?” Poe groaned into your back. You slid around still wrapped in Poe’s arm to face him. His eyes were closed, you leaned in and kissed his lips quickly. “Not going to work.” He mumbled. You smiled and leaned in again, this time you licked his bottom lip and sucked it till it was swollen. He groaned when you pulled away. “Still not working.” He said with a smirk. He still refused to move or open his eyes. You leaned back in and this time you forced your tongue into Poe’s mouth. His eyes stayed closed but he leaned into the kiss and moaned. You ran your tongue around his mouth and tongue for a long time before pulling away. Once you did he opened his eyes. “Fine I’m up but you know I’m not the only one here.” You smirked and reached across to Ben’s butt. You squeezed it hard and his eyes flew open.

“Now your both up.” You said with a smirk and Ben groaned as you got up. Ben then looked like he just realized how he was laying and blushed. He went to move but Poe gripped him tighter and wouldn’t let him. Poe turned to Ben and kissed him lightly. You grabbed your bag and leaned against the wall by the door watching them.

“How did you sleep?” Poe asked Ben with a sleepy smile.

“Really good.” Ben grinned back and then he kissed Poe deeply. Poe’s hand wound into Ben’s long hair and Ben’s hand ran through Poe’s thick curls. It was a long sloppy kiss and you got a warm feeling inside watching. When they pulled away their chests were rising and falling quickly. “How did you sleep?” Ben asked Poe.

“Wonderful.” Poe said and you walked to the bathroom. You turned the shower on and striped down. Once the water was warm enough you stepped inside and slid the door closed. You ran soap through your hair and began to rinse it out when you heard the bathroom door open. You looked to see Ben closing the door behind him. Before you could ask what he was doing he spoke.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Come on in.” You said with a smirk. Ben stripped down and stepped into the shower. He stood behind you and wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight. You reached out and grabbed some soap. Ben held his hands out and you dispensed some in each. You lifted your hair up and Ben massaged the soap into your skin. You started making little moans. He started at your neck and moved to your shoulders. His hands then slid down your arms. He got a little more soap and rubbed it all over your back. He turned you around and he rubbed soap above your breasts. His hands slid down your sides and the moved to your stomach.

Ben got some more soap and started to massage your breasts. Your moans got a little louder and your head fell back slightly. His hands moved to your back again but this time they slid down to your butt. He pulled you against him and kissed you sloppily. He groped your ass and you moaned into his mouth. Your hands found his ass and you pulled him against you causing his growing length to rub against you. He moaned into you mouth. He pulled away and got down on his knees, his hands not leaving your ass. He got more soap and rubbed his hands on your hips. Slowly his hands worked their way down your legs. He ran his hands all around your legs massaging the soap in. He the slid his hands down the inside of your thighs and you shivered. You rinsed all the soap off and without getting up he rinsed his hands off. He leaded forward and placed a kiss in between your legs. You spread your legs and his tongue trailed across your lips. You backed up against the wall and he followed. You wound your hands in his locks and pulled his face back to you. He started to tease you by placing kisses all over.

“Ben.” You moaned out and he looked up at you smirking. He grabbed your ass again and lifted you up. You gasped and put your legs on his shoulders. He leaned into you and you keep him there with your hold in his hair. He started his assault on your clit. He circled his tongue around your clit a few times before his tongue started to circle the other way. “Fuck!” You yelled out and he chuckled against your core. One of Ben’s hands left your ass and he stuck a finger in you. Your thighs squeezed his head slightly and your ankles crossed behind him. He slowly pumped his finger in and out of you. He started to suck your clit and he slipped two fingers in you. You started a string of loud moans containing curses and Ben’s name. He curled his fingers slightly inside you and started to pump fast. You pulled his hair and he moaned against you clit. “I’m…I’m so close.” You panted out.

“Cum for me love.” Ben said against you. Your face was hot and a warmth spread out from your core. “Fuck! Ben!” You yelled and moaned out. Ben licked you up until your orgasm was done shaking through you. It was strong and it left you weak. You were glad for his strong grip and the wall behind you.

“I think that was the loudest you’ve ever been my love.” Ben said with a smirk and kissed your thigh a couple times. “Poe probably heard you.” He laughed and you hid your blushing face in your hands. Ben set you down gently and moved his hands to your hips so he could keep you up. He stood up and kissed your hands and whispered, his lips brushing against them. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he enjoyed it.” You were suddenly determined to get some payback. Your hands left your face and went to Ben’s v line. They slid down stopping right before his cock and he shuddered. You gripped his hips and made him switch spots with you. His back was now against the wall and you got down on your knees. You spread his legs and pressed kisses to his inner thighs. He was already moaning and you smiled against his thigh. You stuck your tongue out and licked his tip. He moaned out your name. You started to kiss his length, teasing him. He started to squirm so you gripped his hips tighter to keep him still. His hands went to your hair keeping it out of your face. You licked his cocked and Ben moaned out loudly, “Please!”

“Someones impatient.” You moved one of your hands to the base of his length and lowered your mouth onto him. He pulled your hair and you moaned around him. You slowly started working his length with your mouth and hand. He started moaning out a string curses and grunts. You keep the same pace until he told you to go faster. You obliged and he got significantly louder. You tired to go a little deeper and you got a good response.

“(Y/N)! Faster!” Ben yelled out rather loudly. You went even faster and could tell he was close. His breathing got quicker and his moans keep coming. “I’m… I’m…Fuck! Close!” You thrust just a little deeper. His dick spasmed and your mouth started filling. “ Fuck (Y/N)!… (Y/N)!” He basically screamed out. You sucked his cock as his dick spilled into you. You licked him up and stood up in front of him smirking. Ben was panting and had put his hands on your shoulders to steady himself.

“I think that was the loudest you’ve ever been babe. Poe probably heard you. Don’t worry, I’m sure he enjoyed it.” Ben glared at you and you laughed. You gave him a quick peck on the lips. “I think you need to clean up.” You walked out of the shower and finished getting ready. When you walked out of the bathroom Poe was heading downstairs still in what he wore to bed. You walked to Ben’s room and packed up your bag then headed downstairs. You set your bag down by the door and headed to the kitchen where Poe was.

“You need any help?” He turned to you and his face was flushed. He shook his head with a cheeky smile and opened his mouth. “Not a word Dameron.” You glared and he held his hands up in defense laughing.

“I was only going to say good morning.” You blushed embarrassed.

“Oh sorry… Well good morning.” You said cheerfully. You sat down on a stool as he made breakfast. It wasn’t too long before Ben came down and sat beside you. Poe greeted Ben with that damn cheeky smile again.

“I told you she might want some company.” Your mouth fell open and Ben turned away slyly smiling.

“You…” Poe laughed again.

“What, I can’t try and get my two partners laid?” Your face heated up but that wasn’t the only place you got warm. You liked the thought of Poe basically telling Ben to go and have sex with you. Poe had obviously heard you both also which you found yourself liking even more.

“Well did you enjoy what you heard?” You asked Poe feeling daring. He bit his lip and blushed deeply. Poe pretended not to hear you and turned around trying to look busy cooking. You giggled and went over to Poe. You got behind him and placed your head on his shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him and kissed his neck. You whispered in his ear. “It’s ok if you did… I hope you did.” You sucked his neck and a quiet moan left his lips.

“Breakfast i-is ready.” Poe tried to say in a clear even voice. You chuckled and kissed his shoulder. You pulled away and sat back on the stool. Poe brought you both a plate and sat down on the other side of Ben. This time Ben placed his hand on Poe’s knee for the whole meal. You all ate in silence, the mood had changed because you and Poe we’re leaving soon. You had to keep telling yourself that you would be back soon. You and Ben cleaned up while Poe got ready.

“Ben, I just want to make sure. Do you get jealous at all?” He looked at you a little surprised.

“No, not at all. Do you?”

“No, not one bit.” You smiled happy with his answer and he smiled happy with yours.

“What brought that up?” He looked curious.

“I asked Poe yesterday and I thought I would ask you…” Ben looked at your questionably.

“What was his answer?” You smirked.

“He said he wasn’t jealous at all, quite the opposite actually.” Ben blushed with a wide grin but then got serious again.

“There was another reason you asked. I can still read you pretty well you know.” He stopped cleaning and turned towards you.

“If me and Poe are… _together_ while we’re gone, that wouldn’t bother you?” Ben’s face blushed and he shook his head seriously. He put his hands on your hips and leaned down to you.

“No, if you two are ready to be _together_ then thats fine. I would expect you two to be while you’re gone. You two shouldn’t act any different with each other here or when you’re gone. We are all in a relationship, that means you and Poe are in a relationship. In fact… I like the idea of you two. I like watching you two flirt and kiss. Eventually, when I’m comfortable, I hope we all can be _together_.” You blushed and nodded. You were so happy to find your own feelings mirrored in your partners. He kissed you quickly and pulled away. You finished cleaning and sat on the couch. Ben went into one of the doors on the first floor before joining you. “Here.” He held out a comlink to you and sat down. “You and Poe can contact me and I can contact you.”

“Is it only for emergencies?”

“No, you can try to reach me anytime. I might not always be able to answer but I will try.” You smiled and took the comlink.

Poe found you and Ben curled up on the couch when he came down. He set his bag down by the door and the two of you stood up. You and Ben walked over to Poe, all of your faces downcast. You hugged Ben and he wrapped his arms around you tightly.

“I just got you back. I’m going to miss you so much. I love you.”

“I love you too. Be safe while we’re gone.”

“Of course.” Ben kissed you passionately and picked you up a little. You put your hands on his cheeks and kissed him feverishly. He sat you back down and he took your hand. He kissed your ring before letting go. He turned to Poe and Poe embraced him tightly. Ben returned the hug just as hard and kissed the top of Poe’s head. They pulled a part a little and Ben put both of his hands on the sides of Poe’s neck. He leaned down and kissed Poe just like he had kissed you. “I’m going to miss you. I really like you… I… I think I’m falling in love with you.” Ben blushed but keep his hold on Poe’s face. The corners of Poe’s mouth turned up and he blushed.

“I think I’m falling in love with you too.” Poe whispered and then he pushed his hands through Ben’s hair. He gripped Ben’s neck and kissed him hard and deep. Poe pulled away and whispered. “Damn I’m going to miss you.” Ben got a sideways grin and pecked Poe’s lips lightly before stepping back. You and Poe got your shoes on and you slipped your jacket on. Ben walked you both to Poe’s x-wing. Poe took the bags up and climbed in the x-wing. You grabbed Ben’s hand.

“I love you, forever.” You said and let go of his hand.

“I love you. Forever.” You climbed up and waved before setting down in between Poe’s legs. Poe put the helmet on your head and started up the ship. Ben walked back to the door and watched as you both flew away. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your boys worry about you and Poe's kind of a idiot sometimes. He's your idiot though.

You got out of the x-wing and Poe got out too but he didn’t grab your bags.

“Do you want me to grab the bags?” You asked and gestured towards the ship. He shook his head.

“No, I’ll get them later. The general said to go straight to the command center as soon as we landed, both of us.”

“Both of us? What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, that was all she said.” He shrugged and headed towards the command center. Quite a few people said hi to Poe and he greeted them back as you walked to the command center. They also seemed to eye you suspiciously but Poe didn’t seem to notice. As soon as you entered the command center BB-8 rolled right up to Poe and beeped excitedly. Poe bent down and put his hand on the droids head. “I missed you too buddy! What… we’re going on a mission?” Poe stood up and BB-8 said hi to you cheerfully. You were happy to see the little droid wasn’t still mad at you.

“Hi BB-8!” You bent down and kissed the top of the droids head. The droid beeped excitedly and rolled towards the general. You chuckled and Poe took your hand. He looked serious as you headed towards Leia.

“Hello.” You greeted.

“General.” Poe greeted Leia, his voice matching the seriousness on his face. This must be how Poe normally is around the general or before a mission.

“Hello, both of you.” She looked between the two of you kindly but held an air of seriousness. Maybe this is just how everyone normally is. “We got word of a small First Order base thats only use is to hold prisoners. Poe you will be taking lead on this. We need you two and a select group of three fighters to go infiltrate this base. We don’t know how many troopers are at the base but it can’t be too many after the recent hit the First Order took. You need to fight your way through them and rescue the prisoners. Shoot to kill. Are you ready for your first mission (Y/N)?” You felt nerves start to bubble up at the thought of a mission. You knew you could handle it but all you’ve done your whole life is train. This isn’t training, this is real, real lives at stake. You pushed your nerves and thoughts aside.

“Yes, I’m ready. When do we head out?” You said your voice full of seriousness and no sign of doubt thankfully. Leia nodded proudly at you.

“I know you both just got here but I really need you to leave now. Your ship and team are all ready.”

“I just need a blaster and I’m ready.” Poe said full of confidence and a slight eagerness.

“Your team has blasters and comlinks for you both. I’ll call them to meet at the ship.” You both nodded and turned to leave, BB-8 following behind. “May the Force be with you.” You got the ship and was greeted by the teacher of the hand to hand combat class.

“We’re ready to go Blue 1 and Blue 2.” She handed Poe a blaster and a comlink, then handed the same to you. You didn’t really want the blaster or need it but you took it anyway.

“What’s your number Lamden?” Poe asked the woman.

“Blue 3. Hex is Blue 4 and Young is Blue 5.” Poe nodded and walked onto the ship. You, BB-8 and Lamden followed. It was a fairly large ship, big enough to pick up several prisoners. When you got on the ship there was two men, you assumed one was Hex and one was Young. The first man had brown skin and was obviously a top resistance fighter by his stature. The second man had white skin and was more lanky. He didn't seen to fit in with the Hex and Lamden. You wondered if he had another specialty. Poe patted them both on the shoulders as he headed to the cockpit. He must know all of them already you thought. 

"Hex." The dark skinned man held his hand out to you.

"(Y/N)." He nodded and sat down.

"Young." The other man said and held his head out then sat down.

"It's nice to meet you both." You said kindly and headed then Poe called out to you. 

“Come on copilot.” Poe peaked his head out of the cockpit and motioned for you to follow. He sat down in the pilot seat and you sat down next to him. He turned to you with a small smile. “Ready?” You nodded and smiled back. You helped him start up the ship and take off into the sky. “BB-8! I need those coordinates!” He called back and the little droid came speeding up to you. He beeped them out and Poe punched them in. “Everybody ready back there?!” He called out and you heard three ready’s. “Great let’s go!” Poe flew the ship away from D’Qar and your thoughts went to Ben. It wasn’t a very risky mission but what if something did happen to Poe or you. Shouldn’t you tell Ben you’re going on a mission? Obviously not tell him what you’re doing but…

“Hey Poe.” You said quietly, hoping the three in the back can’t hear. Poe turned to you curiously.

“What’s up?” He follows your lead and keeps his voice low.

“What if something happens to one of us? Should we talk to Ben before just in case?” He looked at you concerned.

“I hadn’t thought of that. Yeah, I think we should.” You pulled the comlink Ben gave you out of your jacket pocket and tried to reach him.

“(Y/N)? Poe?” You heard Ben reply.

“We’re both here.”

“Did you miss me already?” Ben said and you could tell he was smirking.

“I missed you as soon as we got in the x-wing. We can’t talk long I just wanted to let you know that me and Poe are going on a mission. So… I love you.”

“I love you too. Be safe.”

“Hey Ben, Poe here. I’ll get her back safe.”

“Make sure you get yourself back safe too.” Ben said, his voice sounded tense.

“I will.” Poe blushed deeply.

“Bye.” You and Poe said in unison.

“May the Force be with you.” You put the comlink back in your pocket. You spent the rest of the trip meditating. Poe put his hand on your arm pulling you out of your meditation.

“We’re approaching the planet. We need to be on alert, in case they try to shoot us down.” You nodded and keep an eye out. As you approached the planet you pointed out the base. Poe nodded and made sure to land out of sight. Luckily it seemed like no one noticed you. You all excited the ship and Poe talked to the group.

“All right Blue squad, our number one goal is to rescue all the prisoners but the general did say shoot to kill. We’re going to move together. No separating except if the need arises. BB-8 you stay with ship.” BB-8 beeped a happy affirmative. The five of you approached the base and stayed out of sight. The rest of them got their blasters ready and you unhooked your saber.

“Looks like one entrance and two troopers on guard.” Poe whispered.

“I can get them quietly.” You whispered and Poe nodded. You made your way towards the corner of the building where they couldn’t see you. You jumped out turned on your saber and flipped slicing them on your way down. You backed away and looked down at the two troopers. You’ve never killed anyone before. You were a little sick and had to tell yourself there is purpose in death. You had a mission to do and this was apart of it. You waved the squad over. Blue 5, Young, went up to the door and got it open. Maybe, that was his specialty you thought. You all stepped over the bodies and walked through the door.

You were in a long hallway that luckily had no one else in it. You all walked forward until the hall split two different ways.

“Which way?” Lamden whispered. “Should we split?” Poe looked thoughtful.

“I don’t like it but I guess we need to. Blue 3, 4, and 5 go that way. We'll go this way, and be careful.” They nodded and headed down the hall. You and Poe went the other way. You reached a door and stopped. You made a gesture towards it and Poe shook his had. He motioned to keep going. So you both keep going. You reached another door but Poe just keep moving. Before you could reach the next door a trooper came out of it. You had no where to hide and he seen you. They shot but you deflected it and Poe shot him down. You both ran towards the end of the hall. At the end to the right there was a stairway that lead down. “Ladies first.” Poe whispered with a sideways grin.

“You just want to stare at my ass, Dameron.” You said with a grin and he blushed. You headed down the stairs and got to a part where they turned. You peaked around the corner and seen two storm troopers standing at the bottom. You motioned that you would take them out and Poe nodded. You got them with your saber and you both stepped over them into a dark hall way with four bar doors on each side. On the other side you seen two troopers as well facing the other way. You pulled Poe to the side out of sight and he looked at you confused. You nodded your head in their direction and he peaked out. Poe pulled out his comlink.

“Blue 3, Blue 3.” He whispered.

“I hear you Blue 1.”

“Did you make it to the end of the hall?”

“Affirmative, there’s a set up steps down. Should we proceed?”

“Yes, but there will be two troopers at the bottom you’ll need to take them out. Wait until you hear me call signal.”

“Got it.” You and Poe watched and waited a while before Poe stepped out of hiding, you followed beside him.

“Hey pretty boys! Why don’t you come get me!” They started to aim at Poe and you got your saber ready to deflect. Before they could fire you heard two shots and they fell over. Lamden and Hex were standing aimed at where the troopers had been with Young hanging back behind them. Lamden gave you both a nod of acknowledgment. Young stopped in front of a panel and started working away. Suddenly all of the bar doors sprang open, he turned around looking proud. People who had obviously been First Order prisoners starting walking out of the doors.

“Look everyone we’re with the resistance and we’re here to help. I need you all to be quiet.” Poe called out and they all nodded. They looked scared but what other choice did they have but to trust Poe. “All right you three protect the rear, we got the front.” You headed back up the stairs and peaked out before proceeding. There was three troopers stood around the body Poe had shot earlier. You held up three fingers and Poe nodded. He peaked out with his blaster and fired three shots. Then he waved everybody forward. You just reached the pile of troopers when six troopers came around the corner and started to fire at you.

You started deflecting shots and Poe started shooting. Poe took down three of them and you got two of them with a deflected shot. Just then one of the shots got passed you and grazed your left bicep. “Fuck! This is my favorite jacket!” You called out and deflected a shot back at the last trooper. Poe looked at you his face full of worry.

“You okay, did you get hit?”

“It’s just a graze, let’s go.” Poe nodded but he still looked worried. It hurt and you could feel blood run down your arm. You couldn't focus on it till you were safe though. You keep moving and luckily everyone made it back to the ship without another encounter with troopers. Either you got them all or they were slow to respond. Everybody piled into the ship and Poe sat in the cockpit. You sat down next to him and you both worked to get the ship in the air. Once you were safely away from the planet Poe put the ship on autopilot and walked to the back. He came back a little latter with a first aid kit. He sat down facing you with the kit in his lap. He had a serious look on his face.

“Let me see.” He said sternly. You shrugged your jacket off and showed him your arm. It was deeper than you thought, you were going to need stitches. “Does it hurt?” You shook your head and Poe raised his eyebrows. “Don’t lie, your pale (Y/N).”

“Fine, it hurts like a bitch.” Poe smirked at you and shook your head. He opened the kit and rummaged through it. He got out something to clean it and some bandage to wrap it.

“This is going to hurt.” He said before he cleaned the wound. It did hurt, a lot but you were able to keep your face still. “It didn’t hurt?” Poe looked at your confused.

“No, it hurt a lot. I learned how to not show pain a long time ago…” Poe’s mouth went down at the corners and his hands went into fists. He knew you were talking about your father by the way you said. You placed your hand on his and gave him a small smile. He gave you a sad smile back and worked on gingerly wrapping your wound. He got up and leaned over to kiss your forehead before putting the first aid kit back. When Poe sat back down he took your hand.

“Why don’t you get a hold of Ben?” He said and you pulled the comlink out.

“Ben?”

“(Y/N)? Is your mission over?” He sounded worried.

“Yes, it went good.”

“That’s great.” He sounded relieved.

“(Y/N) did get hit in the arm.” Poe said and you elbowed him in the ribs hard. “Ow!” He whispered. You were going to leave that detail out.

“What! (Y/N), are you alright!”

“Breathe Ben, I’m fine. It’s just a graze, not a big deal at all.” You shot Poe daggers and he looked away from you shrinking in his seat.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Ben, I’m good.”

“Well… Good. What about Poe?”

“I’m fine.”

“Good. I miss you both. I’m getting ready to leave and head back to the First Order base. I’ve been yelled at, they say I’ve been gone to long.” He sounds upset.

“Be safe Ben. I love you.”

“Bye Ben.”

“Talk to you both later. Love you (Y/N).”

“He sounded upset about going back to the base.” Poe said and you put away the comlink.

“He did.” You sighed and laid your head back against the seat.

“Why don’t you sleep?” Poe asked, he looked at you concerned.

“I can’t sleep while flying.”

“Not even when you know I’m flying?" He shot you a sly smile then look at you lovingly. "Come here.” He said sweetly and held his arms open. You leaned back against him, your head resting on his heart. He wrapped his arm around you and you closed your eyes. You took comfort in his body heat surrounding you but you still didn’t think you could fall asleep. Then Poe started humming and rocking you gently. Before you realized it you had drifted off to sleep.

 

You woke up to Poe shaking you. You couldn't believe you actually fell asleep. It just showed you how comfortable and safe you felt with Poe. “We're close to D’Qar.” Poe said and you sat up. You stretched your arms above your head and winced, you had forgot about your arm. You reached over and lightly grabbed Poe’s face. You turned his head towards you and gave him a long kissed. He gave you a funny look. “What was that for? Not that I’m complaining.”

“For being so amazing.” Poe just shook his head while bitting his lip and turned his attention to landing the ship.

“Blue squad coming in.”

“We’re ready for you Blue 1.” The command center responded. You landed, grabbed your now damaged jacket and walked out the ship. There was a group ready to take the prisoners you rescued. Poe grabbed your arm and started pulling you, BB-8 followed closely behind.

“What are you doing?” You asked Poe confused, he was in a hurry.

“Getting your arm looked at.” You chuckled at him, he was so flustered.

“Well can you stop dragging me. I’m not a child whose afraid of the doctor, I’ll go willingly.”

“Oh sorry…” He stopped pulling you and you linked your hands.

“It’s ok. It’s nice to have people who worry about you.” He smiled softly and kissed you on the cheek. You got to the medbay and Poe went up to the desk.

“She needs her arm looked at right away.” You grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.

“I just need some stitches I think. There’s no rush.” The nurse smiled kindly and nodded. She sent you to a room to wait. You sat down on the bed and Poe sat next to you. He seemed like he was the one getting stitches. BB-8 rolled into the room and beeped at you.

“Thanks for worrying BB-8 but I’m fine. Barely even hurts.” Poe gave you a sideways glance, he knew you were lying and it still hurt bad. BB-8 beeped happily and rolled around the room.

“Hello, doctor Tennex.” Poe greeted rather friendly and you looked away from BB-8 to see a beautiful woman standing in the doorway who was only looking at Poe.

“What have you done now Poe?” She said very flirty and Poe blushed.

“I’m not your patient today, she is.” Poe shot a thumb your way. You tried not to notice how he barely introduced you. She gave you a quick glance and pulled a seat up to you. She sat down and shot Poe a quick smile. Poe smiled back widely his worry for you seemed to have disappeared.

“So what’s the problem?” She asked kindly but still had barely looked at you.

“A blaster grazed my arm.” She unwrapped the wound and looked at it.

“Yeah, looks like you’ll need stitches. I’ll be right back to get my stuff.” Before she left she shot Poe a smile again. You rolled your eyes but didn’t say anything.

“She’s a really good doctor.” Poe said brightly and you mumbled I bet she is. “What?” Poe looked at you puzzled and you just shook your head. Pretty soon the doctor came back and sat down. Without warning she started to clean the wound. She put something else on it and it started to get a little numb. Then she started to work on stitching it.

“So Poe, I haven’t seen you around in a while. You used to come visit me all the time.” She looked at Poe and pouted. Maybe she should pay attention to what she has a needle through, you thought. Poe rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I’ve been busy.” You felt your stomach turn and your cheeks heat up. That’s all he’s going to say? Yeah, he’s been busy with his boyfriend and girlfriend, you thought.

“I understand but I miss are little _meet ups_.” You didn’t like how she said meet ups and you definitely didn’t like how Poe’s blush got even redder. You haven’t been jealous very much in your life but you knew that’s what you were feeling and you hated it. You wanted to just say you’d stitch yourself up but instead you sat there and focused on keeping your face still. She finished stitching you up and wrapped it up.

“Now be careful you don’t rip the stitches or you’ll have to come back in early. You will need to come back in a week though.” She talked to you like you were a child and your cheeks heated up more. She sat back and looked at Poe. She put her hand on his thigh and squeezed it. You grit your teeth and your hands went into fists. You had to close your eyes and slow your breathing down. “You’re all finished. Come see me soon Poe-Poe.” Then she got up and left. She or Poe, or should you say _Poe-Poe_ , barely even glanced your way the whole time.

“B-Bye Doctor Tennex!” He stuttered out after here. Poe must have finally looked at you because he grabbed your clenched fist and started babbling.

“What is it?! Are you in pain?! I can get her back to give you something?!” You opened your eyes and looked at him as calmly as possible. Poe looked so clueless, and if you weren't mad you would of found it adorable.

“No, no, no, I’m fine. She already gave me something for the pain.” You sighed and got up. Poe got up and tried to take your hand but you wouldn’t let him. “Do you mind getting my bag from the x-wing?” He looked at you concerned but nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll bring it to your room.”

“Thank you.” You nodded and left him standing there confused.

You got back to your room and laid down on your bed. You were exhausted, hungry and still upset. Thoughts started swirling around in your head. You understood Poe has been with people before you, probably a lot of people, but that didn’t bother you at all. What did was how he acted like you weren’t even there. He didn’t have to lead that doctor on. He should of told her out right that you are in a relationship. You mean you are, aren’t you? You figured, even with as short as it is, that three of you were in a pretty serious relationship. Ben had said he was falling in love with Poe and Poe said he felt the same about Ben. You were to afraid to speak up then but you felt the same way about Poe. You need to stop this, all these emotions controlling you can be bad for a Jedi. You sat up and started to meditate. You let the Force flow through you, calming you. You finally felt at peace when you heard a knock on the door. You opened your door and seen a sheepish looking Poe with your bag.

“Thank you.” You said kind of coldly and took the bag. You were were starting to get upset again. Poe just stood there looking down, his bag in his hand.

“Came I come in?” He finally said and looked up at you with a small smile.

“Sure.” You walked in and threw the bag on your bed. He set his by the door and sat down on your bed. You started unpacking your bag, throwing all your dirty clothes into a pile on the floor. Poe just sat there silently rubbing the back of his neck. Something was definitely up, he was acting guilty almost. “What’s wrong Poe?” You stood in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I… BB-8 told me how I acted around the doctor.” He looked up with pleading eyes and red spread across his face. “I shouldn’t need a droid to tell me I was a jerk. I didn’t even realize what I was doing. Which isn’t an excuse I know, none of this is an excuse, but I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time and I think my default setting is flirting. I had a thing with Tennex but it’s over. I talked to her before I got our bags and told her I was happily in a relationship. I’m so sorry, I acted like such a jerk. I was suppose to be there to support you and I totally ignored you.” He looked down and sighed heavily. He was really upset at himself. You had keep a straight face through his whole speech but when he was done you couldn’t help the smile that started to spread on your face. You whole body just relaxed and all the negativity just followed out of you, making you feel at peace again. You knelt down in front of him and made him look at you.

“I was upset, Poe. Very upset in fact, I was mad when you didn’t even introduce me. Then she placed her hand on you thigh and…” You just shook your head. “Everything you said was perfect though. I understand Poe and I know you meant all of what you said. It’s ok, you’re forgiven.” He made a loud sigh of relief and pulled you up into his arms. “Be careful my arm!”

“Oh sorry!” He lessened his grip and made sure he didn’t harm you. You laughed and hugged him back.

“Hey, can you show me where the laundry is?” You asked and pulled back from him.

“Sure, I got some laundry to do to. Let me get it around and I’ll take you over there.”

“Okay, can we get food afterwards because I am starving.” Poe laughed.

“Yeah, sounds like a plan.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Poe spend some time together and there's smut.

After you both did laundry and dropped it off at your room, you went to Poe’s room. Poe said the kitchen was closed but he could make something in his room.

“I don’t have much but I can come up with something.”

“Anything is fine.” You walked around Poe’s room looking around. On one of his shelves he had a little model x-wing that looked pretty old and next to it was a picture of two people and a little boy.

“Is this you and your parent’s?” You asked and Poe turned around.

“Yeah.”

“You were a cute kid... Are they still alive, are they still on Yavin 4?” He had mentioned things from his childhood but nothing specific about his parent’s.

“My father is still on Yavin 4 but my mother passed away when I was about six.” He turned back to the food and spoke softly. You walked over to him and kissed his cheek.

“I’m sorry, about your mother.” He looked at you and smiled before he kissed you.

“Thank you. The years I got with her were great. I followed her steps and became a pilot. I also love my father very much, I miss him.” You nodded, not sure what else to say. You just leaned against the counter and watched him. You noticed the bags under his eyes, he looked really tired.

“Poe, I didn’t even pay attention to how tired you are. I’m sorry, I can get my own food.” He shook his head and smiled widely.

“I’m hungry too. I’ll sleep after we eat.” You nodded but pursed your lips in concern. He was very selfless and kind.

“Poe…” He looked up at you waiting. “I… I really like you.” His smile reached his eyes and he wrapped one arm around your waist, pulling you towards him.

“I really like you too. When I told Ben I was falling in love with him… I feel the same way about you.” Now it was your turn to smile widely.

“Me too.” You whispered. Poe leaned in and kissed you deeply. He let you go and finished getting you both food. You both walked over to the table and set your plates down. You sat down crossed legged and Poe went over to one of the shelves. He turned on a music player before sitting down. “Is this a date, Dameron?” You joked with a cheeky smile.

“Oh my dates are way better than this.” He joked back with an equally as cheeky smile. You ate in comfortable silence listening to the music. It was kind of romantic and nice. You both finished eating and you helped him clean up.

“I should go back to my room so we both can get some sleep.” You said but Poe grabbed you by the waist.

“Please stay, I want you close.” He asked you with puppy dog eyes, which were unnecessary because you had hoped he would ask.

“I’d love to.” He made a small sound of victory and kissed you. You laughed and asked, “Can I borrow a shirt?” He tossed you a shirt and you went to the bathroom to change into just the shirt and underwear. When you came back he was already in bed shirtless and in sweats. You made sure to lay on your right side and you pushed you back against Poe. He laid his cheek against yours and wrapped an arm tightly around you. You fell asleep to the sound and feel of Poe's breathing.

 

When you woke up it was late morning the next day. You slept for a long time and you felt great. Your arm was sore though. Whatever the doctor put on it must have wore off. Poe’s arm was still around you holding him to you. You didn’t want to get up so you stayed there and meditated. Around lunch time Poe woke up which pulled you out of your meditation. You turned to lay on you back and Poe leaned over you.

“Good morning.” Poe said sleepily. You ran your hand through his messy hair and said good morning. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss. He pulled away and you ran a hand through Poe's hair. His eyes closed and he hummed slightly. You rested your hand on the back of his neck and his eyes opened again. His eyes were still sleepy but now had a want in them. He leaned back down to you and kissed you passionately. You pulled his hair slightly and he moaned. He stuck his tongue into your mouth for a long time before sucking your lip. Then he nibbled your lip and started to kiss down your jaw. You turned your head and he started sucking your neck. You made little moans and he sucked harder. Poe made his way across the front of your neck and you turned your head. He then started his assault on the other side of you neck. This time he didn’t just suck he made little nibbles and your moans got louder. He moaned against your neck and pulled away. Poe stared at you, his face flushed.

“What…?” You asked worriedly.

“Nothing. It’s just… you’re beautiful.” You could tell thats not really what he was going to say. You sat up.

“That’s not what you were going to say. Now what were you actually going to say.” He bite his lip and started idly playing with the end of the sheet.

“It’s nothing, just your moans made me think of the morning we had to leave Ben’s…” His face got a lustful look and you blushed. “About how you said you liked that I enjoyed listening…” Your face got redder and you felt a warmth in your core. “I did enjoy it… _a lot._ I couldn’t help myself…” He trailed off but you knew what he meant. You heart beat got faster and that warmth in your core spread.

You sat on his lap and put your hand on his neck. You started to suck the other side of his neck and he moaned your name. You ran your hands all over his chest which you’ve wanted to do since the first time you seen his shirtless. Poe ran his hands up your back under your shirt. You started to pull your shirt off and Poe stopped you.

“Are we doing this?” His voice was deeper and his eyes were dilated, full of lust. You nodded quickly and started to pull your shirt off. Poe helped you and he moaned at the sight of you. “You are so fucking hot, beautiful.” You blushed and ground your hips against his. Poe’s head went back and your name escaped his lips once again. Poe ran a hand over your cheek lightly. “I want to make you feel so good, beautiful.” He whispered against your lips. You leaned down and started kissing his chest all over. You licked his nipples and he moaned. You were surprised, Ben never really liked his nipples touched. You took a chance and grazed your teeth over them and Poe moaned louder. Once you stopped he leaned down and put one of your nipples in his mouth. You gasped and arched you back causing your hips to grind again. He moaned around your nipple. He let go of it with a loud sucking sound and put the other in his mouth. You gripped his biceps and arched your back again. Poe let your nipple go and he brought his mouth to yours. He kissed you and rubbed your breast between his hands. Your hand slid down his chest to his bulge. He moaned into your mouth and pulled away. He was straining in his pants so you got off of him.

“Lay back baby.” He moaned at you calling him baby and obeyed. You pulled his sweatpants off and underwear off. Your eyes got wide and you stared at his hard cock. You couldn’t believe Poe was even bigger than Ben. Ben wasn’t small either… No wonder Poe was so _popular_ , you thought.

“Are you just going to stare?” Poe asked with a huge smirk and you looked up embarrassed but gave a small smirk back. You got down between his legs and started to run your hands up and down his thighs. He grabbed your hair to keep it out of your face. You keep one hand on his thigh and the other you wrapped around the base of his length. “Fuck!” Poe moaned out loudly at the contact. You leaned down and licked his tip before sucking a little. Poe started making incoherent moans. You kissed down his length and teased him like you always do with Ben. Poe squirmed just like Ben does and again you smirked up at him. He was staring at you and smiled slightly back. You keep eye contact with him and lowered your mouth down around him. He bit his lip and pulled your hair. You moaned around him and he shook. You started to work his cock your eyes never leaving each other. This was something different from Ben, Poe seemed to like eye contact. You watched his face change in pleasure as you changed your pace. The more you watched him the wetter you got. “St-stop.” Poe breathed out and you sucked his tip before sitting up.

Poe grabbed your waist and pulled you towards his face. He grabbed your ass and squeezed. You moaned and he pulled you down closer to his face. He licked you through your underwear and you shuddered. He let go of your ass and started to pull your underwear down painfully slowly. You got off the bed for a second to toss the underwear to the side and got back on top of him. Poe grabbed your ass again and you gripped the headboard behind him. You lowered yourself down and could feel Poe’s breath against you. Poe licked up your core. “Poe!” You called out and arched your back.

“You are so wet, beautiful.” He whispered against your core. You looked down and he was staring up at you. He flicked his tongue around your clit and slowly built speed. You rocked your hips a little in pleasure. He stopped and sucked your clit, you started a slur of moans. Before long it was getting to be too much.

“Baby, I ne-need you to stop.” You breathed out and Poe chuckled. His hands moved to your hips and you moved away from his face. Poe grabbed his dick and lightly dragged it down your clit to your opening.

“You ready?” He asked eyes wide. You nodded and lowered down onto his cock. You both moaned out at the sensation. You arched you back and slowly raised up then slowly went back down. You watched Poe’s face twist in pleasure and you had to lean down to kiss him. You kissed sloppily and feverishly. You sat back up and started to ride his length again. He hit your spot and you gasped. “Right there?”

“Yes baby.” You breathed out and he increased the pace. You and Poe started a string of moans and cusses. Your eyes stayed on each other for the most part. Poe’s eyes occasionally went down to watch your breasts rise and fall with each thrust, or one of you closed your eyes in pleasure. “Harder baby… Yes…” You coxed. Both of your breathing and moans got louder as you got closer. Poe took one of his hands off of you hips and teased your nipples. Then his hand slid down and he started to circle your clit. “Po-oe. I’m so close.”

“Your doing so good, beautiful.” You arched your back and felt everything build. Your walls contracted around Poe and your orgasm rocked throughout you.

“Poe!” You called out and he started to thrust harder. Soon you felt his cock spasm and he filled you.

“Fu- (Y/N)!” Poe called out and his climax shook throughout him. You separated and collapsed onto his chest. Poe put an arm around you. “That was… wow.” You smiled and kissed his chest.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” You said with a smirk and you felt Poe chuckle.

“I definitely did. What about you?” You lifted your head and kissed him.

“Yeah, I really enjoyed myself.” He smiled widely and you laid your head back down. You felt like you could lay there all day and Poe made no move to get up. His hand ghosted up and down your back. Eventually, you fell asleep. When you woke up you were alone and it was almost dinner. You got up and stretched. You didn’t see Poe anywhere but then you heard the shower and you couldn’t resist. You quietly went in the bathroom and Poe was singing. You smiled to yourself and listened for a little while. You threw your hair up in a bun before calling out. “Hey Poe, you want some company?” He pulled the curtain to the side and poked his head out. He had soap in his hair.

“You don’t even have to ask.” You laughed and got in behind him. He was rubbing the soap into his hair so you pulled his hands away and took over. He leaned back into your touch and started making little moans. You scrubbed his scalp for a while before he turned around to rinse his hair out. “Why didn’t you tell me you could sing? You have an amazing voice” You asked and he shrugged.

“Thank you. I usually only sing when I’m alone, I can also play the guitar. I sing and play when I have some down time, it relaxes me. Maybe I can play for you and Ben sometime.” He grabbed some soap and started to scrub his body so you helped.

“We would really like that.” He stopped scrubbing and let you take over. You already got his back so you moved to his arms and then his chest. Poe let his head fall back again and made those cute little moans. You stepped closer to him and grazed his v line. He leaned into you and kissed you. While kissing Poe you let your hand go lower and grabbed his length. He was already hard and he gasped in your mouth. You started to work his cock in your hand. Poe pulled his mouth away and moaned. You crashed your lips against his and he grabbed the back of your neck. You kissed feverishly as you worked his cock harder and faster. Your tongues danced only to pause occasionally while Poe moaned. Eventually, Poe had to pull away and his breathing increased. You watched his face twist in pleasure.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Poe moaned out as he got closer. You keep working his length and his cock started to spasm. He unloaded all over your hand and his stomach as he moaned your name loudly. You leaned in and kissed him sweetly before rinsing off your hand. Poe got more soap and cleaned the rest of himself. Poe came up behind you and put a hand in between your legs. You pushed him away and turned around.

“I’m too sore.” You said and he nodded. Then he grabbed some soap and smiled.

“Well, can I at least help you this way?” You nodded with a smile and you both started to scrub your body. You made little moans as Poe massaged the soap into your body. When you got out of the shower Poe handed you a towel. You dried off and braided your hair while Poe shaved. You went out to get dressed and went back into the bathroom.

“I’m going to go to my room and change into clean clothes. Afterwards I can come back and we can head to dinner, if you want.” Poe paused shaving and turned to you smiling brightly.

“Sounds good.” He replied with that smile you love so much.

 

You and Poe sat down across from Rey and Finn. They were even closer together than last time.

“Hey guys, haven’t see you in a while.” Finn said his face bright.

“How did the trip go? Are you three in a relationship now?” Rey asked with a sly smile.

“How did you know where we were?” Poe asked confused.

“BB-8 told us.” Finn said like it was no big deal.

“That droid.” Poe mumbled.

“So, when do we get to meet the guy?” Rey asked curiously and you paled. Poe just looked down at his food.

“Umm, well, he’s really busy so…” It was a lame excuse but she probably wouldn’t react well to the truth. Rey nodded looking at you and Poe suspiciously. Poe changed the subject before Rey could say anything and asked Finn what they had been up to the last few days. Finn was eager to talk and the topic never went back thankfully. After dinner BB-8 had to bring Poe to the command center so you went back to your room. You wondered if Poe would be sent out on a mission. About an hour later there was a knock on your door. You opened the door and Poe was standing in his flight suit holding a suit case.

“I have to go on a mission.” He had a small smile that you could tell was a little forced. You sighed but nodded. You pulled Poe into a tight hug and breathed in his smell. He smelled like fighter fuel and his cologne, you loved it. It was different but just as good as Ben, who smelled like rain and cologne. “I’ll be back before you even have a chance to miss me. Then we can go back to Ben.” You knew he was just saying this to make you feel better but it worked. You nodded into his shoulder and pulled away.

“You better come back in one piece, Dameron.” You poked him in the chest and looked at him sternly.

“Yes ma’am.” He stood up straight and saluted. You wound you hands in his hair and he grabbed your hips. Your lips pressed together and you gave each other a long needy kiss.

“Wait one second.” You walked to where your jacket was hung on a chair and pulled out the comlink. You walked back to Poe and gave it to him. “Take it with you and call Ben.” Poe nodded and pulled you into him again. He kissed the top of your head and pulled away. You both gave each other a small smile and you watched him walk away.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben explains how he's been feeling lately.

Three weeks had gone by and Poe had been sent out on missions almost constantly. You were sent out on few but not has many as Poe. You hardly seen Poe, he would get sent out and you would come back, or if you were together you were sleeping. You switched back and forth who got the comlink but you still hardly talked to Ben either. Ben was busy too and if you did talk it was always short. You and Poe worried about Ben, he sounded worst every time you talked to him. Ben was getting fed up with things, though he never said what exactly, and he missed you both too. You were happy to have made friends with Rey and Finn though. It was nice to have someone to talk to at meals and know some friendly faces around base. You even made friends with a couple of pilots Poe was close to, Snap and Jess. They had come up to you first and said they had to meet the girl Poe was always talking about. They also said they wanted to meet the guy but you had dodge that the same way you did with Rey.

You walked from breakfast to the command center. Every morning now, if you weren’t on a mission, you would check in and see if you were needed. When you walked in a smile crept on your face. There with his back to you was Poe still in his flight suit. You loved how his butt looked in his flight suit you thought. He must of just got back from his latest mission and was reporting in to Leia. You wanted to go up and hug him but figured it would be better to wait until he was done. You waited a couple minutes before he turned around to leave and saw you. He headed over to you smiling brightly, lighting up his tired face, and you smiled back. When he got to you he pulled you into a tight hug and whispered in your ear.

“Guess what the general just told me?” He sounded happy.

“What?” You whispered back.

“She’s demanding we take a week off! We can go see Ben!” Poe said excitedly trying to keep his voice a whisper. You pulled back and stopped whispering.

“Really?” He nodded and smiled widely at you. You shot a look at Leia and she was watching you. You mouthed thank you and she gave you a quick nod while smiling. You pulled him back into a tight hug before talking again. “Let’s go call Ben.” Poe nodded as he grabbed your hand and pulled you away from the command center.

You went to Poe’s room and tried to get a hold of Ben. It took a few minutes for him to respond.

“Sorry, I’m here.” He sounded really tense.

“Ben, me and Poe have a week off, we’re coming to see you!”

“Really?!” Ben asked excitedly over the comlink.

“Yes!” You and Poe yelled at him and laughed.

“They won’t be happy but I’ll head home soon.” He sounded a little worried but still excited

“Ok, we’ll leave tonight.” Poe said.

“Alright, just incase you get there before me the keycode to get in is 1028.” You smiled to yourself, that was the day Ben proposed.

“Ok, we’ll see you soon Ben. Miss you.” Poe said.

“Miss you too. Bye.” Poe gave the comlink to you and you put it in your pocket.

“I need some sleep.” Poe said yawning. You leaned in and kissed his cheek.

“You do. Eat dinner then leave?” Poe nodded and started to shrug off his flight suit. “I’m going to train with Rey, I’ll see you for dinner.” Poe looked a little sad you were leaving, he probably wanted to cuddle. You had learned he was a serious cuddlier, it was adorable.

“Ok, I’ll see you.” You kissed him quickly and then left. Yesterday Rey moved to training with a real light saber. You went up against here for a while and your muscles were still sore. You were excited to go against her again though, she was very good.

 

The day went by painfully slow, you felt like you trained with Rey forever. Luke made you leave during meditation because they could feel your restlessness. You apologized and went back to your room. You took a long shower and dreamed about talking a bath at Ben’s. To be able to soak your sore muscles and maybe have some company sounded amazing. Afterwards you got dressed and grabbed the bag Poe said you could keep. You were glad Poe wasn’t watching you pack this time. Last week Jess had taken you and Rey to a planet to go shopping. You got some new clothes and also a few things from a lingerie store. When you got dressed you decided to wear the matching black lace bra and underwear you got just incase. By the time you finished packing you were running a little late for dinner.

You hurried to the mess hall and seen Poe already there. He shot you a smile and you went to get some food. You took your seat next to Poe and across from Rey and Finn. They had told you a couple weeks ago they were officially a couple now. They were so cute and happy, it was a little too much sometimes. You and Poe listened to Finn and Rey talk. You would give each other looks, you knew you both really wanted to leave.

When your food was gone you and Poe basically took off running to your rooms. You grabbed your bags and beelined it to Poe’s x-wing. BB-8 was waiting for you to say goodbye when you got there. You said your goodbyes and got in the x-wing.

“You ready?” Poe asked as he put the helmet on you.

“Fuck yes!” You called back and you felt Poe laugh while he started the ship.

“That’s my girl!” He called back as he started to take off.

 

You got to the planet and dropped your shield. You sighed out of relief and reached out to see if Ben was here. You felt him and you acknowledged each other. You were worried, Ben’s emotions felt all over the place. Poe landed next to Ben’s ship and you both got out. Poe grabbed the bags and Ben walked out the door. You ran towards him and he smiled lightly. He opened his arms and you jumped into him. He lifted you up and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I missed you both so much.” Ben said sadly as Poe walked up. You kissed Ben deeply and then he set you down. Ben grabbed the sides of Poe’s face and crashed his lips against him. Poe dropped the bags and wound his hands in Ben’s hair. Your stomach flipped and you were so happy. They pulled away smiling and Ben pulled Poe into a tight hug. Poe reached his arm out and pulled you towards them. Ben moved his arm and then you were all hugging. It was warm and wonderful. You could smell Poe and Ben, the two mixed together perfectly. You all pulled away and you really looked at Ben. He had bags under his eyes and you could tell he was upset even though he was smiling. You reached your hand up and cupped his cheek.

“Ben, what’s wrong?” You asked softly and his face went down. “Come on, let’s go inside and talk.” You took his hand and walked inside. You took your shoes off and Poe did the same. He set the bags down and walked to the couch. You took off your jacket and saber then went to sit on the couch. You patted the middle of it and Ben sat down. You both turned to face Ben and Poe placed his hand on Ben’s knee. Ben lightly grabbed Poe’s hand and one of yours. You held Ben’s hands in both of yours. He faced forward and started to talk.

“Snoke is angry at me. Angrier than I thought he would be.” You rubbed Ben’s hand comfortingly hoping he would continue. “It isn’t my absence he’s mad at either. He’s mad at what happened during my absence… He said I’m straying from the dark side… I don’t know what to do… It’s true, the call to the light is so much stronger than it’s been in a long time… I don’t even agree with the First Order anymore. Ever since they used the starkiller something felt wrong with being there. I… The only peace I feel now is when you two are around. As soon as you landed I felt so much better but… I still feel so confused and angry… I’m so sick of feeling angry. I used to just feel anger but despair has come to take some of it’s place. I'm tired...” Ben looked down and paused. You hated to see him like this. He was struggling because Snoke has been feeding him lies almost his whole life… Maybe he has his whole life, it made you sick to think about how long Ben has been suffering. You leaned forward and kissed his cheek where a tear had fallen. Poe look pained and sad, he didn’t want to see Ben like this either. “I don’t deserve you two. I don’t deserve to be happy. I’ve done terrible things and there’s nothing I can do to change that…” Ben started to shake and more tears spilled out. You and Poe got closer to Ben.

“Ben, the fact that you feel remorse is okay. The fact that you feel differently is okay… Snoke has been in your mind so long you said you don’t know what’s his and yours. Well, you know what some of you is. You know that love, remorse, loss, the light, that is all you. That’s okay to feel these things. I want you to hear me, it’s okay to feel these things. No one can tell you what to feel and not feel. Jedi’s, Sith, they have tried time and time again but it never works, nor should it. You can be a mix of all emotions and it’s okay. Your anger might be you too and that’s ok. The whole point is to not let those emotions stop you from living. To not let them control you.” Poe placed his other hand on Ben’s arm and started to rub it soothingly.

“Whatever you’ve done or however you feel don’t _ever_ think you don’t deserve us. You _do_ deserve to be happy and to not feel guilty for being happy. Ben… I hate to see you like this. I wish I could make it all go away.” Poe said so sternly and intensely. Ben was still looking down but he had stopped crying. Poe looked from you to Ben. “Ben…(Y/N), I love you.” Your mouth fell open slightly and Ben’s head whipped to the side. “I love you and you deserve my love… and so much more.” Poe’s voice was softer this time but just as intense. You started crying now, the emotions of the moment getting to you.

“I love you too.” You said through tears and Poe smiled widely at you.

“I… I love you.” Ben said quietly. He was staring at Poe with such intensity and Poe was just staring back smiling. Finally, Ben closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Poe’s and sighed. “I love you both and it’s hard for me to feel I deserve you but… I am so happy you are here and so happy for your love.” You started crying harder and let go of Ben’s hands to hug him. You wrapped your arms around his torso and buried your face into his chest. He wrapped his free arm around you and the three of you sat there taking comfort in each other. Once your tears stopped you broke free and spoke.

“I think we all deserve a big cuddly party upstairs.” Poe and Ben laughed and it made your heart soar.

“I agree.” Poe said and stood up. Ben and you followed Poe up to Ben’s room. Ben laid down on his back in the middle and you and Poe, curled into him on each side.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You, Poe and Ben smut. The threesome you've all been waiting for.

You must have fallen asleep because you woke up in Ben’s bed alone. Your stomach growled at the smell of food. You looked and it was late enough, they could be making dinner. You had slept almost the whole day away. You wondered how long the two of them slept, if they slept at all. You had a sleepy memory of Ben and Poe kissing very intensely as you fell asleep.

You got out of bed and headed down stairs. Sure enough, there was Poe cooking and Ben watching. Ben turned around and smiled. He looked a lot better than before, it made you so happy.

“Hello sleepy head.” Ben said and you smiled blushing.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” You asked and waked over to Ben. You leaned your side against his and wrapped an arm around his back. He did the same and you both watched Poe move busily around the kitchen. He was wearing a black apron that said kiss the cook and you smiled to yourself.

“We were going to wake you once dinner was done. We slept for a while too…after we made out for a bit.” Poe said and flashed Ben a cheeky smile. Ben blushed but smiled back. They were too god damn cute, your stomach was doing flips again. You wondered if that would ever stop, you hoped not.

“Sorry I missed that.” You said with an as equally cheeky smile. Now they both blushed but Poe replied cooly.

“I’m sure there will be more.” You laughed.

“Good.” You said seductively.

“Oh!” Poe said as he stirred something. “I wanted to ask both of you if you wanted to go out on a date with me tomorrow, off planet? It’ll be in the outer rim so it sound be fairly safe.” He turned around and waited for your responses.

“Sounds good to me.” You said cheerfully.

“I’m in. It’s not like anyone recognizes me with out my helmet anyways.” Ben shrugged and smiled brightly.

“Great!” Poe said he was obviously happy.

“What do you have planed?” You asked curiously.

“It’s a surprise.” Poe said and you just shook your head smiling.

“So it’s like that.” You said teasingly.

“Yeah, it’s like that.” Poe said back teasingly and turned to you. You both kissed while smiling. It was a toothy kiss but nothing short of amazing. Poe finished making dinner and Ben put a couple candles on the table and turned on some music. Poe set the table and you all sat down. You ate and talked, it was very sweet and romantic.

When you were done you moved to the couch. You straddled Ben’s lap and Poe sat facing the both of you. You all took turns kissing. They started out as cute little loving kisses but eventually they turned to needy lustful ones. You ended up pulling Ben’s shirt off and kissing his chest as he kissed Poe. Ben started moaning into Poe’s mouth and ran his hands up Poe’s stomach under his shirt. Poe pulled back and took his shirt off. You watched Ben stare at Poe’s chest before he spoke.

“Maybe we should move to the bedroom.” Ben said, his voice deep and thick with want. You all got up and walked to the bedroom. You could feel Ben’s nervousness.

“Ben if you aren’t ready-“ Ben cut you off.

“No, I’m ready. I’m just a little nervous. Poe I’ve only been with (Y/N)… I’ve never been with a guy.” Poe went up to him and put his hand on his arm.

“It’s okay, I kind of figured. We won’t do anything you don’t want to, promise.” Ben nodded and smiled. Poe’s words seemed to ease some of his nerves. You took the boys hands and made them sit down on the bed. They sat in the middle of the big bed. They watched you eyes wide as you took off your shirt revealing the see-through black lace bra underneath.

“When did you get that?” Poe asked his voice a little strained. You climbed onto the bed moving over to them and talked.

“Jess took me and Rey shopping.”

“Of course she did. Remind me later to thank her.” Poe said, either of their eyes still never leaving your chest. You would of thought they never seen your breasts before.

“You know you can touch them.” You said seductively and their heads shot up like you just said the most shocking thing ever. You laughed and kissed Ben then Poe. Ben reached out first and rubbed the lace fabric against your nipple. You moaned slightly and Poe then did the same to the other side. You could tell this was going to be a good night.

“Lay back love.” Ben said and you did. Poe and Ben laid on either side of you. Ben leaned down and sucked your neck while he ran his hand softly through your hair. Poe leaned down and licked and sucked your nipples through the lace. You arched your back and moaned. Poe ran his fingers lightly across your stomach and once he was done with your nipples he gave you a bunch of kisses in between your breasts. Ben’s kisses traveled down your neck to your stomach. His hand moved with him running it over your sensitive nipple. Poe slid his hand out of Ben’s way and up to your breasts. Poe kneaded your breasts. Your hands went up and wound themselves in their hair. They both moaned and you felt your wetness pool between your legs. Poe’s kisses moved up to the other side of your neck that Ben hadn’t touched. You were moaning at the sensations of Poe’s lips on your neck and his hands kneading your breasts while Ben’s lips and hands were on your stomach. Then you felt Ben’s hand slide down and rub you through your pants. You gasped and ached your back again. You looked down to see Ben smirking and Poe stopped to look.

They both moved down to pull your pants off. You watched them intently and their eyes got wide again at the barely there lace thong. They got your pants off and Ben grabbed your legs. He flipped you onto your stomach and they both moaned at the sight of your ass. You propped yourself up on your elbows and turned your head so you could watch them. Poe came up to your back and undid your bra. He slid the straps off your shoulders slowly. You pulled the bra off the rest of the way and Poe began kissing your back. Ben placed his large hands on a cheek and squeezed your ass. He keep his grip as he laid down and kissed all along your ass. His kisses eventually turned in you nibbles. Moans keep escaping your mouth. Poe kissed his way down to your ass and Ben moved to one cheek so Poe could have the other. Poe squeezed before he started kissing your ass as Ben continued nibbling the other cheek. They both stopped and looked at each other. Poe leaned forward and they kissed. You could see Poe’s teeth lightly pull Ben’s lower lip and Ben moaned. There they were kissing each other while each had a hand on your ass. You moaned watching them and they both turned to look at you. All three of you smiled and were flushed. You flipped over and sat up.

“I need these tight pants off.” Poe groaned out complaining. You don’t think he realized how sexy that was but you and Ben did. You both pretty much attacked Poe and pushed him back. He was surprised at first but then he laughed. You went to his neck and started nibbling while Ben fumbled with his pants button. Ben’s hands were shaking a little and Poe sat back up. Poe grabbed Ben’s hands and looked at him concerned. “What’s wrong, darling?” Poe asked so caring. Ben’s face got redder and looked up at him smiling.

“I’m just nervous and excited.” Poe tried not to laugh.

“Force you are cute.” Poe said and Ben’s face got a deeper red again. “Now let’s get me out of these, you two are killing me.” Poe said exasperated and fell back. Poe rested his head on the pillows so he could watch Ben. Poe unbuttoned his pants and Ben pulled them down. Poe sighed and you could see his dick straining in his underwear. Ben came up to Poe’s chest running his hands and mouth all over it. One of Ben's hands slid down and lightly cupped Poe’s cock through his underwear. Poe let out a loud moan and you licked each of Poe’s nipples causing his moans to increase.

“Fuck.” Ben exclaimed and stood up. You could see he was having the same problem Poe had been having. You and Poe watched as Ben pulled down his pants and underwear in one swipe. Ben looked away blushing and you smiled. You whispered in Poe’s ear.

“He always does this for me, stand there so I can stare. I love it.”

“I understand why.” Poe barely got out.

“Ben, come back baby.” You said sweetly and he came back to you two but he wasn’t looking at Poe. Poe reached up and grabbed Ben’s chin lightly.

“You are so fucking hot, darling.” Poe said and Ben gulped. Ben went down and started to pull Poe’s underwear down. Poe’s dick sprung free and Ben made a small gasp. Ben pulled off his underwear the rest of the way and went back to staring at Poe’s cock. Finally, Ben leaned down and started to kiss Poe’s inner thighs. You let your teeth graze Poe’s nipples and chest as you watched Ben. Poe began constantly moaning. Ben started to reach out but stopped himself and looked up at Poe. Poe nodded and smiled at him encouragingly. You just watched with your hand resting on Poe’s chest. Ben gently wrapped his hand around the base of Poe’s cock.“You can grip a little harder.” Poe got out, panting. Ben nodded not taking his eyes off of Poe’s dick. You seen him grip a little tighter and lean down to lick Poe’s tip. Then he placed kisses along Poe’s shaft making Poe squirm. Ben placed a hand on Poe’s hip. “He’s been watching you.” Poe mumbled out. You blushed and nodded. Ben then licked Poe’s shaft and Poe squirmed more. “Ben.” Poe said pleading and Ben smirked. “Teases.” Poe mumbled and you tried not to laugh. Ben lowered his mouth slowly and started to work Poe’s length. He stopped to suck the end a little and got a good response from Poe. Ben went back to working Poe’s cock with his hand and mouth. Poe grasped Ben’s hair and Ben moaned. “Fuck darling… you… you are doing so… fucking good. Keep… Keep going. Yes, just like that. Fuck Ben, yes!!” Poe made a string of almost incoherent moans. You were so wet you needed to touch yourself. You reached down and was about to slip your hand under your waistband when Poe gripped your hand. Poe never looked away from Ben. “Almost.” Poe managed to get out. He released your hand and put it back in Ben’s hair. Ben had started working Poe faster and harder. Poe was close you could tell. You started sucking and running your teeth along his neck hoping to help him along. Poe started moaning even louder.

“Yes baby, we want to hear you. Come on, cum for us. Come on baby.” You whispered encouragingly in Poe’s hear.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck.” Poe whispered out, he was so close. “Ben!” Poe screamed out and his body shook. Poe’s grip in Ben’s hair tightened and Ben moaned around Poe’s cock.You watched Ben suck on Poe’s twitching length and swallowed everything. Ben sucked until Poe was completely clean then he sat up. Ben’s lips were swollen and his face was red.

“You did so good, baby.” You said as Poe laid back eyes closed and nodding. You leaned over and kissed Ben deeply. You could taste Poe’s seed on his mouth and you moaned. You pulled back and Poe was watching you, his breathing back to normal. Poe sat up and stuck his tongue in Ben’s mouth. Ben moaned and pushed his mouth against Poe’s. You laid back on the bed and they stopped kissing turning to you.

“I need some help boys.” You said seductively and they both nodded. Poe settled in between your legs.

“Ben come here.” Poe said and Ben laid next to Poe, your leg in between them. Poe leaned down and licked you through the lace. You shuddered and moaned. “You are soaked.” Poe whispered in awe. Your hands went up into both of their hair and you blushed.

“You both kind of have that effect on me. Now can you take those damn things off?” Poe and Ben laughed and pulled down your thong. Ben threw it aside and griped your hip. Poe leaned down licked up between your lips. You shivered in pleasure.

“Damn.” Poe whisper moaned out. Poe backed up and Ben leaned down to lick up your lips.

“Damn.” Ben also whispered out.

“Alright boys came we stop obsessing over how wet I am and do something about it.” You said a little more aggravated then you meant. “Teases.” You mumbled out and Poe chuckled.

“Ben you want to take her clit.” Ben nodded and leaned down. Ben’s tongue circled around your clit and you moaned very loudly. Finally, you were being touched. Poe slid a finger in you. You and Poe making eye contact the whole time.

“Fuck!” You called out and Poe started to pump his finger. Ben started to swirl his tongue the other way. You started moaning cusses and their names. Poe slipped another finger in and bent them slightly. He pumped hard and you shook from the sensation.

“Right there beautiful?” Poe asked and you nodded. Poe moved his fingers faster and Ben started to suck your clit.

“Fu-… Oooooooh… Ben, Poe.” You moaned out loudly as the sensation in your core was building. “BenPoedon’tstopdon’tstopfuck.” You breathed out as your breathing increased. You whole body started to shake.

“Cum for us (Y/N). Come on beautiful.” Between Poe’s coxing, him hitting that stop hard, and Ben’s continued assault on your clit you were gone. Your head fell back and your eyes closed tightly.

“Poe! Ben!” You yelled and felt your pleasure wash through you whole body. They didn’t stop until your orgasm was completely done. You laid back and tried to get your breathing back to normal. They came back up to you and gave you sweet kisses all over your face. Finally coming down from the orgasm you looked at Ben and he was straining. It was his turn but you were spent. “Poe, I think Ben needs help.”

Poe turned to Ben and put his hand on the side of his neck. “What do you want me to do darling?” Ben looked down and blushed very deeply. Then he looked back up at Poe with a very serious look on his face.

“I want you to fuck me, my love.” Poe gulped loudly and strained to talk clearly.

“Fuck Ben, I really want to. I like really really want to but not yet. It’s better if we get used to each others bodies first, okay? Anyways I’m a little spent. Okay, darling?” Ben looked surprised and a little disappointed but nodded.

“I understand… I want your hands then your mouth then.” Poe smirked and kissed Ben deeply.

“Both. Alright I can do that.” Poe whispered against Ben’s lips. You moved to lay down and watch. Poe pushed Ben down gently and laid down next to him. Poe ran a hand through Ben’s hair sweetly. Then he cupped Ben’s cheek and brought his lips back to Ben’s. Poe sucked Ben’s lip and then ran his tongue all along his lips. He slipped his tongue into Ben’s mouth and Ben moaned. Poe’s tongue swirled around Ben’s for a while before Ben reached up and grabbed the back of Poe’s neck. Ben then forced Poe’s tongue back and ran his tongue all along Poe’s lips before slipping it in Poe’s mouth. Poe moaned now but pushed Ben back and pulled away. Poe went down and slid between Ben’s legs. He looked up at Ben through hooded eyes just like when Poe hand went between your legs. Poe kissed Ben’s thighs as he wrapped a hand around Ben cock. Ben squirmed and Poe put a hand on Ben’s hip. Poe keep his face on Ben’s but Ben’s head fell back and his eyes closed tight in pleasure. Poe moved his hand slowly up and he ran his thumb lightly across Ben’s tip. Ben’s breathing hitched and he moaned. Poe started to pump Ben’s cock up and down. Ben started to moan out cusses and names. Poe pumped and occasionally placed a kissed down on Ben’s thighs.

“Please…” Ben moaned out and Poe knew what he wanted. Poe placed both of his hands on Ben’s hips and lowered his mouth around Ben’s length. You were a little jealous of how Poe could get so much of Ben in his mouth. “Fuck!” Ben yelled out and his moans got louder as Poe started to moved his head up and down. He still looked at Ben through his eyelashes. Ben reached out and grasped at Poe’s hair. Poe moaned around Ben’s cock.You could see Poe leaving marks on Ben’s skin from his grip on his hips. You went over to Ben and ran a hand through his hair as you sucked his neck. “Poe… Poe. Oh force. Fuck… Yes, my love, yes.” Ben mumbled and moaned all the while Poe’s mouth was on him. Poe worked Ben up and down until Ben shook as he came. Ben opened his eyes and looked right at Poe. “Poe! Fuck!” Ben shouted as the pleasure washed over him. Poe sucked and licked Ben clean, swallowing everything. Poe got up and came up to Ben’s face. He quickly kissed Ben and then you. He laid back in the middle of the bed and held his arms out. You curled up against him on one side and Ben curled up against him on the other. “I love you both. Forever.” Ben said as he closed his eyes and laid his head on Poe’s chest.

“I love you both, forever.” You said softly and laid your head on Poe’s chest. You grabbed a blanket and pulled it over the three of you. Poe rubbed your and Ben’s arm.

“I love you both, forever.” Poe said adopting the saying and you smiled brightly. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unwanted visitor appears.

You woke up first like always. When your eyes finally focused you were on someones chest, Ben’s chest. You realized there was a weight on you and someone was holding you tight. You turned slightly to see Poe’s head buried in your neck. He was basically laying on top of you. How were you going to get out of this, you thought.

“Poe.” You whispered and ran a hand through his hair. No response. “Poe, come on baby, I need to get up. I at least need you to move, your squishing me.” A small groan but nothing else. “Poe, poe come on. Please.” He lifted his head up but his eyes were still closed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Baby, I can’t move. Can you move off of me?” He opened his eyes suddenly and quickly got off.

“Sorry.” He said loudly and Ben groaned. You giggled lightly.

“It’s ok. I just wasn’t very comfortable. You laid on your side facing Ben and patted the spot behind you. Poe came up to you and put his head in the crook of your neck. He wrapped his arms around you and Ben shifted. Ben reached out for someone to cuddle and found you. He wrapped his arms around and Poe. His forehead was against Poe’s. It was so nice so you meditated until they woke up.

About an hour later Poe moved and you stopped meditating. He seen you were up and started kissing your neck.

“Well, good morning to you too.” You said with a laugh. He hummed against your neck.

“Good morning.” He sleepily mumbled into your skin. Ben’s face was now right in front of yours so you reached out and kissed his nose.

“Ben.” You said sweetly and kissed his lips. He groaned and held onto the both of you tighter. Poe stopped kissing your neck and leaned over to kiss Ben’s shoulder. You started to kiss all over his face. Ben groaned again and slowly opened his eyes.

“I guess it’s time to get up, huh?” He voice was thick with sleep and had a lazy grin on his face.

“Yup.” You said with a smile and kissed his nose again.

“Good morning.” Poe said and Ben turned to Poe.

“Good morning.” They both smiled wide and Ben sat up. Poe and you also sat up also. Poe leaned over and kissed Ben. Then he kissed you and smiled widely but sleepily. “I have to say, it’s a lot easier to wake up when I know your faces are going to be there when I open my eyes.” You and Ben blushed. You pushed Poe’s arm teasingly.

“Your a sweat talker even when you’re still half asleep.” You rolled your eyes but gave him a kiss. “I need a shower.” You said and got off the bed. You stretched out and turned around to your boys. You sighed, they were so cute trying to wake up. They both stretched and moved closer to each other. Ben laid his head on Poe’s and Poe grabbed Ben’s hand. You went to the closet to get your bags but remembered they were still downstairs. “I’m going to go get our bags, then maybe you both can join me in the shower.” You smirked and walked out the door.

You walked down the stairs and walked over the bags. You bent down to pick them up when you felt someone watching you from behind. You slowly picked up your saber instead and stood up. You quickly turned around while igniting your saber. Behind sat on Ben’s couch was a pale man with ginger hair in a First Order uniform. He stared at you with wide eyes that weren’t looking at your face. You looked down and realized you were stark naked. Before the man had a chance to react you and made your way over to him and held your saber against his throat. His eyes were still trained on your lower body. “Eye’s up! Who are you?” You yelled and his eyes finally came up to your face. The man was blushing and staring at you, eyes still wide. “Answer me!” The man composed his face and stared at you with curiosity.

“HUX!” You heard Ben yell out, his voice full of anger. You flinched at the sound and turned your head to see Ben and Poe standing in the doorway of the bedroom. Ben’s face was red with rage and he held his light saber out ignited. Poe was standing slightly behind Ben unsure of what to do. Lucky for them, they had their underwear on. So, this was the famous General Hux you’ve heard much about. Not how you would of wanted to meet him, not that you wanted to meet him at all.

“So, this is how you spend your free time, Ren. A little disappointed you didn’t invite me to your party.” Your head turned back to the General who was staring back down your body. He had a smirk on his face that matched his voice. You punched him in the mouth with the butt of your saber. His lip started bleeding and he looked up at you furiously.

“Don’t forget I have a lightsaber to your neck.” You made your voice as threatening as possible.

“Yes, I don’t know where you got that petty weapon but I doubt you know how to effectively use it.” He turned back to look at Ben. “Ren, get your whore off of me.” You were becaming infuriated. Just then Ben jumped off the balcony and landed with a soft thud. He started his way towards Hux, his saber out ready to swing.

“HOW DARE-“ Ben stared to yell, you could feel the rage coming off of him.

“BEN. STOP.” Your voice cut through his and you gave him a look. He stopped and gritted his teeth. He looked at you pleading to let him continue. “Ben, I got this. It’ s ok.” He still looked pained but he nodded. You turned back to the General and Hux looked at you with shock.

“How did you-“

“Shut up! Ben ca you use the force and get the blaster on his hip?” You watched Hux’s blaster float out of his reach. “Poe please get me a shirt and pair of pants?”

“Yeah.” Poe called out from his place upstairs. You just stayed there eyes locked with Hux waiting for Poe.

“Got it.” You turned around and smiled brightly at Poe. You turned off your saber.

“Thank you, can you hold this a sec?” You asked Poe and held out your saber. He nodded and took it. You slipped on Poe’s shirt and your pants and Hux’s glare turned to Poe. You watched recognition wash over his face.

“You’re the resistance pilot.” He said with some surprise in his voice then he smirked. “I didn’t know you were a whore. Could of had some fun when we held you.” Hux’s voice got back it’s condescending tone. You had to fight the anger in you. You felt Ben’s anger swell and you held a hand up to tell him to stay put.

“Fuck you!” Poe spat back, his voice full of venom. The situation was getting heated and you needed to remain the calm one.

“Yeah, I would-“

“That’s better.” You interupted Hux and he looked at you furiously. You take it not many people do that. You gave Poe a kiss on the cheek and made him look at you in the eyes. “You ok?” He nodded but he was pissed. You took your saber and turned it back on. You pointed it at Hux. “Now, why don’t you watch your fucking mouth and tell us what the hell you’re doing here.”

“I will not be commanded and questioned by a whore!” He spat out. You laughed lightly.

“I am no whore, General. Ben, can I see the blaster?” Ben handed it to you and you could see the confusion of Hux’s face every time Ben listened to you, or when you used his old name. Hux looked over at Ben.

“Explain.” You looked at Poe and held out the blaster. He took it and stood on the other side of you.

“I have nothing to explain. You are the one who is in my home, unannounced. You explain, General.”

“You know I do not answer to you… Supreme Leader demands your return. He sent me to fetch you. He’s furious with you, as he should be. Especially, now that I see you were fucking around with whores this whole time.”

“Bastard.” Poe said and Hux stood off the couch. He raised his hand as if to slap Poe and he froze. “Can’t move?” You asked insolently with a tilt of your head. He glared at Ben. In truth it was you who froze him but let him think it was Ben.

“Ren, release me!” Ben chuckled.

“Wouldn’t even if I could, General…” Confusion crossed Hux’s face but then he slowly turned to you.

“You? You! The fucking whore?!”

“Do not test me, General. I told you, I am no whore.” You made your saber burn his throat just a little. “My patience with you is growing thin. There is little keeping you safe. The resistance would be very pleased to have you.”

“You resistance scum.” He spat out and looked at Ben, his face red with anger.

“What are you doing?! Why are you with the resistance?! Why are you fucking them? Once Snoke finds out about this you’ll be dead!”

“He won’t find out… because I’m giving you to the resistance.” You turned to look at Ben in shook. His face was calm, though he’s emotions were all over the place. “I’ll keep watch of him, while you both go get dressed and call the resistance. Tell them to be expecting a very high risk prisoner. Hux is not to be underestimated.” You turned off your saber and went over to Ben.

“Are you sure?” You whispered. “Once you do this there is no turning back. They will know when he disappears to look here first.” He smiled but not very convincingly.

“This feels right. We can make it look like he crash landed on another planet. Then they will not know what happened to him. He and Snoke are the only ones who know of this place anyways.” You nodded and looked back at Hux who was fuming.

“You. Can’t. Do. This.” Hux said through gritted teeth.

“I have to let him go.” You said and Ben held is hand out. You released Hux but he didn’t move. You nodded as you grabbed Poe’s arm and you walked upstairs. You and Poe got dressed in silence. You went back down stairs and Poe went over to his bag. He pulled out a comlink and you went over to Ben. You ignited your saber and held Hux with the force. “I got him, go change.” Ben shut down his saber and nodded. He headed upstairs and Poe started talking in his com.

“General.” Poe’s voice was serious.

“Dameron, what is it?” Leia talked after a few moments, a worried tone in her voice.

“We will be bringing in a high risk prisoner in a few hours, be ready.”

“A what? You’re on leave!” Leia sounded upset but she was probably just confused.

“I know, we had a situation and now we have a prisoner from the First Order.”

“It’s not Ben, is it?” Leia asked quietly.

“No, no.” Poe responded quickly.

“Alright, we will be ready when you get here. I will need a report, Dameron.”

“Of course, General. Dameron, out.” Poe put the comlink in his pocket and got his shoes on. He pulled a blaster out of his bag and hooked it to his hip. He came over and stood next to you. “How are we going to do this?”

“Me or Ben will have to take the Generals ship and set it on a crash course. We can use the force to jump out safely right before the crash. The rest will have to follow behind in Ben’s ship. Then we will all take him to the base.”

“Ben’s going to go to the base?” A worried look crossed Poe’s face.

“Yes, he will have too. We’ll make sure he remains unseen, if that is what he wants.” You leaned in to Poe’s ear. “The only thing we need to worry about with Ben is too keep Leia, Luke and Rey far away from him.” You pulled away and Poe gave you a quick serious nod.

“Alright, let’s go. I know the perfect planet to crash his ship on. I’ll head there and you will follow.” Ben said as he walked down the stairs. “I’m going to go grab some cuffs to keep a hold of Hux.”

“You have hand cuffs?” Poe asked teasingly.

“Oh, shut up.” Ben yelled back and you could hear the smirk in his voice. It’s a good sign he’s able to joke around. Ben came back and cuffed Hux and you released your force hold on him. You got your shoes on and threw your jacket on. All four of you walked out and got on your separate ships.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You drop Hux off at the base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in chapter 19. I've had serious writers block. My goal is to have a chapter up Sunday. I would love to have two chapter's up Sunday, but we'll see.

You were approaching D’Qar and everything had worked out perfectly. Ben easily set up the Generals ship to crash and once you were all on Ben’s ship he used the force to make Hux sleep the whole trip. Poe reached out on his comlink to Leia.

“We’re coming in on a First Order ship, do not shoot. I repeat do not shoot.”

“I read you, Dameron.” She was quick to respond. “I sense Ben… Is there going to be a problem.” She sounded very tense. Ben was back with Hux just in case he woke, and so he didn’t have to hear his mother.

“There will be no problem. He’s not getting off the ship. We’re making the drop and then we’re gone again. Don’t forget General, me and (Y/N) are still on leave.”

“Don’t forget Dameron, I need a report.”

“And you’ll get one. We’ll be there soon.” Poe shut the com off and slid it in his pocket. You were leaning against his chair and he turned to look at you. He seemed tense so you rubbed his shoulders.

“What’s wrong, flyboy?” You asked with a smirk. He scowled and you laughed.

“Flyboy?” You shrugged.

“I like it.” He scoffed and turned around but not before he smiled.

“I’m fine, just worried about Ben. I got everything up here, you should you stay with him.” You stopped rubbing Poe’s shoulders and ruffled his hair, which was still messy from sleep.

“I’m on it, and everything will be fine.” You walked to the back where Hux was slumped in a seat unconscious and Ben was sitting across from him, eyes shut tight in concentration. You went over to him and kneeled down so you could look at him at eye level. “What’s wrong, baby?” He opened his eyes and smiled lightly.

“I’m trying to put up a shield. It’s not working very well.” You smiled kindly.

“Yeah, they already know you’re here.” He sighed and looked down. He’s face was pained.

“I can feel their emotions. They’re trying to keep them from me but we’re connected, family… Then there’s the girl, Rey… She’s basically broadcasting her anger at me being here.” He looked up and a tear escaped his eye. You put your hands on his arms and your forehead against his.

“Focus on me. We have a strong connection too. Focus on how I’m feeling.” As you said this you let all your emotions fall away except your love for him and Poe. You could see him smile but also a couple tears fell from his face.

“Your love is blinding. It’s warm and sweet and all I could ever ask for in the world. I regret the day I lost you.”

“Hey, don’t focus on that. It’s in the past, there’s nothing to be done. Look where we ended up. Not only are we together again but now we have Poe. I don’t know about you but to me he feels like the missing link we never realized we needed.” Ben pulled back from you and nodded.

“I feel the same way.” You could feel Ben calm some as he focused on your feelings and words. Then a troubled look went over his face and he clutched his head. You could feel what he was feeling. Rey was screaming into the force. You reached out to Rey and it helped some but not much. Ben was shaking and you wrapped your arms around him to hold him. His head fell against your chest and he shook against you. You ran your hand down his back.

“Shhh, Ben. Focus on me, only me. You can shut the rest out.” You sent out the feelings of love and peace into the force and towards Ben, hopping they would surround him. It wasn’t long before he stopped shaking. “There you go, baby. You’re ok. I love you, focus on that. Focus on me, let the force around us calm you.” You held him like that until the ship landed. Poe came back and looked at Ben buried against you chest. You tried to give Poe a reassuring look but he knew Ben wasn’t doing good. Poe walked out the ship and you heard some talking. Poe came back in with two resistance fighters that lifted up Hux. They carried Hux out and Poe looked at you eyebrows furrowing.

“I’ll be back shortly. General demands I report now.” You smiled at him and nudged him to go.

“We’ll be here, we’re fine.” Poe nodded once and walked out of the ship. You sat there while before Ben started to murmur something.

“Nononono, leave my head. Leave.” You finally made out what he was saying. You put both your hands on the side of his face and pulled his head up. His eye’s were closed tight.

“Whose in your head Ben?” You were about to repeat yourself when Ben finally spoke.

“Luke.” You barely heard him but you knew what he said. You felt anger and reached out to Luke. You sent all that anger his way and Ben’s eyes opened.

“Is he gone?” Ben nodded and you smiled at him. You kissed his mouth and rubbed his cheek with your thumb. “What was he saying?” You asked him softly. You knew it was a risk but you had to know.

“He… he said he could feel light in me. He said he felt all the remorse and guilt I have. He said it wasn’t to late to come back.” Ben sounded a lot better and looked a lot better. You were shocked, you had assumed Luke was angry and would just make Ben more upset.

“What do you think about that?” You asked slowly and sweetly. He gave you a sideways grin.

“Stop talking to me like a child, (Y/N).” You flinched and shyly smiled.

“Sorry, seriously though. How are you feeling?” Ben sighed and removed your hands from his face to hold them in his own.

“Better but still confused. I need more time if I’m going to consider come back. I know I am not going back to the First Order or Snoke. I have decided I want to be a Grey Jedi.” He paused and looked at you waiting for your reaction. You smiled so brightly and tears fell down your face. Ben gave you a soft smile and kissed your tears away before continuing. “I don’t know if I can come back here though… I don’t know if I can ever look at them in the face, and I don’t know if they would even want to see me.” You nodded and gave Ben a serious look.

“Whatever you decide me and Poe will be there for you, every step. I love you, so much. You have made me so happy today.” You cried more and Ben held you now. You pressed your face into his chest. You could feel his emotions still all over the place but there was more love and more peace. At some point Poe had come back because you felt his arms wrap around you and Ben.

“Well so much for our date.” Poe grumbled into your shoulder and you laughed. You pulled back and looked at Poe.

“We’ll go tomorrow, promise.” He smiled brightly at you and gave you a kiss. He noticed your red eyes and a concerned look crossed his face.

“What’s wrong?” You smiled and shook your head.

“Nothing, Ben said he wanted to be a Grey Jedi and I got a little emotional.” Poe looked to Ben in shock then back at you. A smile broke across his face, he knew how much that meant to you. Poe kissed you then Ben.

“Ready?” Poe asked you two and you both nodded. You got up and headed to the front of the ship with your arms around each others waists. Poe detached from you and sat down. Ben was looking at you two but then his head shot up and he looked out the window. There standing in the distance was Leia, Luke and Rey. They all had small smiles, well except for Rey. Her face remained expressionless. You could tell Ben was having a conversation with one of them, Leia you presumed. Poe didn’t notice what was going on as he started up the ship. Ben started crying and smiling. He held his hand up and Leia held hers up. Then Poe pulled the ship away and we were taking off. Ben turned to you and laid his head on your shoulder. He wrapped his arms around you tightly and you did the same. You rubbed his back as he quietly cried into your shoulder. You would ask later but now wasn’t the time. Once you were aways from D’Qar and on your way back to Ben’s home, Poe turned autopilot on. Poe got up and turned around. He froze and stared at you and Ben. You gave him small smile and he came over to join the hug. “I also miss what happen’s.” He grumbled and you laughed. Ben pulled away from you smiling. He looked at Poe’s grumpy face and chuckled. Ben leaned forward and kissed Poe deeply.

“We’ll catch you up, promise.” Poe smiled widely at Ben.

“Good. You got food on this ship right? I’m starving.” You all chuckled and walked back to the seats.

“Sorry love, it’s just a transport ship.” Ben said and Poe groaned loudly. You all sat down next to each other and something caught your eye. You looked to the back of the ship and there was a little orange and white droid hiding behind the seats. You laughed and nudged Poe. You pointed with your eyes to where BB-8 was and Poe looked confused. Once, his eyes landed on BB-8, Poe shot up from his seat.

“BB-8!” Poe called out angrily and the droid made a scared beep. Poe ran his hand over his face and sighed. “BB-8 come here.” Poe said softly and BB-8 rolled over to him. “BB-8, what are you doing here?” BB-8 beeped that he missed Poe and you. Then he said he also wanted to meet Ben, since Poe talks about him so much. BB-8 turned it’s head to Ben and then you before looking back at Poe.

“Aww, BB-8.” You said and got down to kiss the droids head. “I missed you too.” BB-8 beeped happily.

“I missed you too, buddy. You know that the resistance needs you, though.” BB-8 beeped, no they don’t. “Yes, they do.” BB-8 beeped about he doesn’t do anything when Poe isn’t there. Poe sighed again and got down next to you. He put a hand on top of BB-8. “Well, I’m glad you’re here. Though, I don’t think you’ll have much fun.” BB-8 beeped that it was okay and spun around happily. You and Poe laughed as you both stood up.

“So this is the famous droid that ruined my plains.” Ben sounded angry. You and Poe exchanged a worried look. BB-8 beeped scared and looked up at Ben, who had stood up. The he bent down and laughed. “It’s nice to meet you BB-8. You are an amazing little droid.” He patted BB-8 on the head and stood up. BB-8 beeped happily and began to spin around again.

It was about an hour later and all of you were sitting on the floor. You had you back to the seats and Ben had his back to the seats across from you. Poe was sitting next to Ben with his head on Ben’s shoulder. Ben had told Poe about what happened when they landed on D’Qar. About how he felt when they got close to D’Qar, about how Rey, Luke and Leia felt in the force. Then he talked about happened when you were leaving.

“When we were leaving I looked out the window and there was Rey, Luke and my mother. Rey was still angry but she said she forgave me as long as I didn’t kill anyone who was innocent again. Luke said he loved me and forgave me. My mother…” Ben paused struggling to speak and he was looking away the whole time he talked. You placed your hand on his leg and Poe placed his hand on Ben’s hand. “My mother said that she loved me and she forgave me. She said that my actions weren’t my own and she could feel the light in me. She could feel the love that you two have helped me feel. She said that…” Ben sniffled a little and shook his head before continuing. “She said that she was sorry for sending me away. She blames herself for Snokes hold on me. She said that she hoped I could forgive her…” Ben paused as a couple tears fell. Then a smile broke out on his face. He looked between you and Poe. “Last thing she said was that I better treat you two well. She said she loves you both as much as she loves me.” Tears escaped your eyes and Poe even had a tear fall.

“I’ve always loved that woman.” Poe said with a smirk.

“Me too.” You said quietly.

“I did too, but I was told not too. I spent so long hating her for pushing me away. She never did push me away though, I pushed her away.” Ben sighed heavily and laid his head on Poe’s head. “I’ve messed so much up… How am I going to fix it.” You squeeze Ben’s leg slightly so he’ll look at you. You lean towards him with a serious look.

“You can’t. All you can do is keep moving forward.” You then smiled at him and he smiles back. BB-8 beeped that he liked your advice. You laughed. “Thanks BB-8.” You all sat there for the rest of the trip, talking about things that had you all laughing and smiling.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe takes you and Ben (and BB-8?) off planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to get a new chapter out. It's rough but I hope you still like it. I want you guys to know I'm not going anywhere and my writers block is getting better. I hope to go back to putting up a new chapter every day.

You walked into Ben’s home and sighed. It had been a long and tense day. As you all took your shoes and jackets off BB-8 beeped about if there was a charing base.

“Crap buddy, I don’t know.”

“Through that door, they stocked my office with a whole bunch of stuff.” Ben said with a nudge of his head in the direction of his office. BB-8 beeped a thank you and happily sped off into the room. Poe headed towards the kitchen and you both followed. Poe was looking around for what to make and Ben wrapped his arms around his waist. “It’s late, let’s all make something quick.” Poe nodded and Ben kissed Poe’s neck. Ben pulled away and you all decided to make sandwiches.You all worked around the kitchen. After you sat down on the stools to eat. All of you quickly ate in silence. You looked over at your boys and thought they still looked tense. You smirked and stood up.

“I’m going to take a bath.” You walked and grabbed your bag. Before going up stairs you gave them both a kiss on the cheek. When you were half way up the stairs you called down to them. “Did you guys notice how the tub could fit three people?” You walked up the stairs and hoped they would take the hint. You walked into Ben’s room and sat you bag down. You pulled out the short black silk robe and bath soap you bought on your shopping trip. You walked to the bathroom and the boys were walking up the stairs. You made sure to leave the bathroom door open and you put the robe on the counter. You set the soap down on the side of the tub and got the water to the temp you wanted. You stood up and started undressing while the tub filled up. You were completely undressed and the tub was almost filled up, yet still no sign of them. Once the tub was full you turned the water off and add the soap. You put your hair in a bun and lowered yourself into the tub. “Ahhh.” You released a sigh once fully in the tub. You closed your eyes but opened them back up because you heard whispering.

“You’re her husband, you ask.”

“You’re her boyfriend, you ask.” You stifled a laugh.

“Boys, what are you doing?” You called out to them, trying not laugh.

“Can we join you?” They both asked as they stuck their heads in the doorway very timidly. Both of their faces were blushing. You couldn’t help but laugh now.

“Would you get in here, already.” They looked relieved and walked in. They were already down to their underwear and they striped down to nothing. Ben climbed in and sat down across from you. Poe stepped in and sat down facing the other way, in between you both. You leaned your head back and closed your eyes. You sat there for a few minutes before opening them back up. Both of their eyes were closed and they looked a little relaxed. “Poe.” They both opened their eyes and you waved your hand. “Come here.” Poe a little hesitantly moved towards you. He sat between your legs and you had him lay against you. His head rested on your shoulder and he closed his eyes as you started to massage his shoulders and chest. Poe moaned slightly and you looked up at Ben with a smile. “You’re next.” Ben smiled widely and moved to sit next to you. He leaned his head on top on yours. After working Poe’s shoulders and chest for a while, you moved up to his head. Poe sunk down and laid his head against your chest. You massaged Poe’s scalp and he basically cooed. Once Poe’s body felt relaxed you stopped. “Ben’s turn.” Poe sat up and turned to you.

“That was amazing. Thank you, beautiful.” Poe kissed you sweetly and he switched spots with Ben. Ben sat with his head on your shoulder and closed his eyes. You worked his shoulders and chest. He was a lot tenser than Poe so you worked harder. That got a good moan out of Ben and you smiled. You worked until your hands couldn’t any longer. Ben moved to lay his head on you chest and your started to work on his scalp. Ben moaned out happily and Poe moved over to straddle Ben’s lap. Ben looked at Poe suspiciously and Poe shot Ben a sideways grin. Ben closed his eyes again with a smirk and Poe ran his hands along Ben’s chest. Ben sighed contently. After a minute or two, Poe leaned down and started to kiss Ben’s neck. Ben moaned and Poe smiled against Ben’s neck. It wasn’t too long before the water was getting cold. You stopped massaging Ben's head.

“I think it’s time to get out.” Poe stopped kissing Ben’s neck and stood up.

"Wait what about you?" Ben faced you and asked. You smiled at him and put your hand on his cheek.

"I'm fine, baby." Ben looked unsure but he stood up. Poe stepped out and grabbed everybody a towel. You all dried off and you put on the robe that you had got. You walked to the bedroom and put on some underwear and stole a shirt from Poe’s bag. Ben and Poe came into the bedroom in their underwear.

“Beautiful, is that my shirt?” Poe asked as he and Ben climbed into bed. You walked over and climbed in next to Ben.

“Yup.” You said with a smirk and Poe just shook his head with a smile.

“I like when you wear my shirts.” Poe said and you leaned over to kiss him. Then you kissed Ben who had been amused by the exchange. “I’m going to hate myself in the morning for saying this but can you get us up as soon as you wake?” Ben groaned and you chuckled.

“Yeah, I can do that. Goodnight, boys.” You said as you tucked yourself into the covers facing them. They both shot you a cute smile and said goodnight. Poe put his hand on Ben’s chest.

“How are you doing?” Poe whispered. Ben put his hand on the side of Poe’s face and stroked his cheek with his thumb.

“Good… I can’t wait for our date tomorrow. I need a good distraction.” Poe smiled and gave Ben a soft quick kiss.

“Me too.” Ben laid down and Poe laid his head down on Ben’s chest. Poe lazily wrapped his arm around Ben’s torso and Ben swirled his hand around Poe’s back.

“Good night, my loves.” Ben said softly as your eyelids started to flutter closed.

 

You woke up at dawn and seen your boys tangled together in a mess. They seemed to sense your need for some space last night and you loved them even more for it. You weren’t sure why you needed space but you figured it was because all that was going on with Ben. You gingerly got out of bed and waked over to your bag. Poe told you to wake them up right away but they can’t do anything till you get ready anyways. So, you let them sleep until you were done getting ready. You walked back into the bedroom and climbed onto the bed. You leaned over Poe and kissed his shoulder. He was the easiest to wake up.

“Poe, baby. Time to get up. I’m so excited for our date.” Poe stirred and a small smile came across his face but he didn’t move or open his eyes. You kissed his cheek, his stubble tickling your lips. “Baby, come on. Get up.” Poe moved slightly but that was all. You ran your hand down his stomach and stopped right at the waistband of his underwear. You slowly stuck a finger under the band and Poe’s breathing hitched. You ran your finger around his band to the middle of his back. He shivered and you noticed goosebumps raise across his skin. You smirked and slipped your whole hand down his underwear and rested it on his ass. You squeezed and Poe’s hips bucked into Ben’s side. Ben groaned and Poe opened his eyes. You left your hand under his underwear and slid it around his side, caressing his hip and stoping it just shy of his cock. You seen his length twitch and you smiled. Poe looked at you sleepily but he had a lust in his eyes. You retracted your hand and sat back. Poe scowled and you laughed. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Poe grumbled. “That’s not fair, you know.” You smirked.

“I figured you and Ben could take a shower together. I was just getting you _up_.” You smirked and put emphasis on the word up. Poe got a devious look and leaned down to kiss Ben’s mouth. After a few seconds Ben moaned and leaned into the kiss. Poe’s hand traveled down Ben’s chest to Ben’s length and palmed him. Ben’s hips bucked and one of his hands wound into Poe’s hair pulling him closer. After a while, Poe pulled away chuckling.

“Good morning, darling.” Poe said sweetly and Ben smirked as he slowly opened his eyes.

“Good morning.” Ben replied huskily and you got off of the bed.

“You two have fun.” You called as you walked out of the bedroom. You went down stairs and fixed breakfast while the boys _got ready_. By the time it was done they came down hand in hand. They both looked so happy and glowing from their post climax. “You two are too adorable, stop.” You teased as you placed their plates down. Poe kissed your cheek.

“Never.” Poe teased back and you all sat down to eat. While eating BB-8 came whirling over to you all very excited. “Hey buddy! Did you have a good charge?” BB-8 beeped happily that he did. Then he started beeping about if they were going to go to- and then Poe cut him off rather quickly. “Yeah, we’re going there buddy but it’s a surprise.” BB-8 beeped a sorry. “That’s why you wanted come along, isn’t it?” Poe asked and BB-8 shyly said yes, Poe laughed. “It’s okay buddy, I’m excited too.” You and Ben just looked at each other and shrugged.

Once you walked out the door to leave you looked all of you over. You all dressed very similar today, though you noticed most of your clothes are pretty similar. You all had on black pants and leather jackets. You also all had on thin t-shirts, though you had on a black shirt while Ben’s was white and Poe’s was gray. You and Ben had your lightsabers but made sure to conceal them with your jackets. Poe was reluctant about taking Ben’s ship but you didn’t have another choice. There’s no way you would all fit in his x-wing. Before you got on the ship, Poe went up to his x-wing to grab something. He pulled out an odd shaped case from behind his seat and you knew exactly what it was.

“You’re going to play and sing for us!?” You exclaimed excitedly. Poe jumped down from the x-wing and walked over to you both nodding.

“Yes, but not till later.” You smiled widely and BB-8 beeped excitedly. You took their hands in yours and walked to the ship. BB-8 whirled passed you to get on the ship first. You all laughed, the little droid was like a small child. Poe started up the ship as the three of you stood behind him. It was going to be a few hours before you got there, wherever there was.

 

When you started approaching the planet you noticed how green it was. It was mostly forest with large snow toped mountains. You couldn’t see any civilization. You were becoming more curious about what Poe’s plans were. You hadn’t brought any bags or food, so there had to be something here. Poe landed in a small clearing and got out of the pilot seat.

“Alright, we’re going to have to walk a little ways. I didn’t want anyone to see a First Order ship. This is a Resistance friendly planet.”

“Are you going to tell us where we are yet?” You asked as you all walked off the ship.

“I thought you would of guessed already.” Ben smiled widely but he also looked nervous.

“I know where we are. I’m a little worried about what I think we’re going to be doing and who we’re going to be meeting.” You looked at Ben confused as Poe grabbed Ben’s arm and looked up at him which a huge grin. Poe looked so happy and you looked around the planet for a second. Suddenly, it clicked.

“Oh! We’re on Yavin 4!” You jumped up and grabbed Poe’s arm. Poe, Ben and BB-8 laughed at your reaction causing you to blush.Then your stomach got butterflies and you looked at Poe wide eyed. “Are we going to meet your father?” Poe nodded and you gulped. Poe rubbed your arm reassuringly.

“It’s going to be fine. He’s going to love you both because I love you.” You smiled but your nerves were bubbling up and you felt Ben’s nerves too. You walked through the forest until you reached another clearing with a few buildings in it. One was a hanger and one other looked like a house. Behind the clearing in the distance you could see the tops of mountains and it was breathe taking. You could imagine little Poe running around this clearing and your heart swelled.

“The planet is beautiful, Poe.” You said in awe and Poe squeezed your hand. You took in a deep breathe and felt so at peace. “There is something amazing about this planet. I’m so in touch with the Force here.”

“I feel it too.” Ben said quietly in a tone you haven’t heard from him in a long time. You and Poe looked at him in awe. His eyes were closed and he had a smile on his face. He could still feel his mix of emotions but he was much more at peace then you’ve ever felt him. He had so much love, peace and… happiness. It was radiating off him, tears started falling from your eyes. Poe’s face was in shock and a tear rolled down his face.

“I can feel your emotions.” Poe said, his voice barely a whisper. Your mouth dropped open and Ben’s eyes shot open. He looked down to see the two of you crying.

“What did you say?”

“I can feel your emotions, both of your emotions. I can feel how happy you are and-.” Poe choked off as he started to cry harder. That made you cry harder, you knew what Poe was feeling. He could finally understand the turmoil Ben has been going through. Somehow your bond had become stronger, or you finally formed a bond. You weren’t sure, the Force was not an easy thing to understand. Ben stared at the two of you like he was afraid. He pulled Poe into him and held him tight. Ben reached out for you to join and you did. Since Poe isn’t Force sensitive you’ve never been able to sense his feelings, that was until now. Suddenly, you felt Poe’s love for the both of you, his worry, his excitement, his confusion. All the emotions he was feeling right now were mixing with yours and Ben’s. It was a little overwhelming and you found yourself getting a headache. Poe’s and yours crying eventually stopped and Poe pulled back. “Anybody else feel sick and have a headache.” Poe asked, his face was a little pale.

“Yeah... all our emotions are mixing. It’s a lot to take in.” You relplied quietly and BB-8 asked if everybody was okay. “I think so BB-8.” You really didn’t know. Ben obviously was stunned as he still hadn’t said anything. He just kept staring blankly forward. “Ben, you okay?” He finally looked down and nodded slowly.

“Yeah, yeah. Just… weird, right?” He smiled causing you and Poe to smile back.

“Yeah, weird.” Poe responded with a shake of his head.

“Kind of amazing though…” You said to yourself. Poe clapped his hands and looked towards the buildings.

“Alright, whose ready to meet my father now?” You and Ben laughed nervously. You took one of Poe’s hands and Ben took the other.

“Ready.” You and Ben said at the same time. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Kes Dameron.

The four of you stood in front of the door as Poe knocked. Poe knocked a couple times before an older man opened the door pointing a blaster at them. Surprise crossed his face as he seen Poe. Then he looked at you and Ben while keeping the blaster up. The man was obviously Kes Dameron, you could easily see the resemblance between him and Poe.

“Dad, you want to put that thing away?” Poe asked and the man looked at his blaster. He hesitantly hooked it to his hip and then looked back at Poe.

“You want to introduce me to your friends?” Poe put a hand on your shoulder.

“This is (Y/N).” Then he put a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “This is Ben.” You stuck your hand out and he shook it. He had a strong grip so you made sure to meet it. Ben stuck his hand out next and Kes shook his hand.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Mr. Dameron. Poe’s told us a lot about you.” You said kindly and Kes snorted.

“It’s Kes, and if Poe’s talked about me it must not be anything good.” Poe shot his father a look and Kes laughed. Kes turned around and waved you to follow. You followed Poe and Kes into the small home. It was nice and homey. You were in a small living room and dinning room area. There was a door ahead of you that lead to the kitchen. One either side of the room was a hallway. While you took your shoes off BB-8 rolled passed you all and started a conversation with Kes. When you and Ben took your jackets off you hide your sabers in them. Kes sat down in a chair that faced the couch and the three of you sat on the couch, Poe was in the middle. You could feel Poe was nervous which made you and Ben more nervous. “So, you usually don’t bring any friends. Something wrong?” Poe set a hand on your’s and Ben’s thighs.

“I wanted you all to meet because they aren’t just my friends. They’re my partners, we’re in love.” Kes looked at Poe and his brows furrowed.

“Two Poe? One wasn’t enough?” Poe squeezed your’s and Ben’s thighs.

“Dad…” Kes put his hand up and smiled.

“I’m only joking, Poe. Must be serious, I’ve never met any of your partners before.” Kes looked over you and Ben very closely. You seen his eyes glance over your wedding rings and his face scrunched up. He didn’t say anything, though. “You both must be with the Resistance as well.”

“Well…” Poe started but you jumped in.

“I am sir, but Ben isn’t.” Kes nodded and squinted at Ben.

“You don’t support the First Order, do ya?” Ben tensed up.

“I use to, sir. When they activated StarKiller, I couldn’t anymore. I’m thinking of joining the Resistance.” Poe still hadn’t lessened his grip on your thigh. You put your hand on Poe’s and he relaxed some. Kes’s face relaxed some and seemed to nodded understandably.

“Hmm… No sir talk, call me Kes.”

“Of course, sorry s- Kes.” Ben said while smiling. You could feel Ben relax as well.

“Poe, why don’t you and me go make some tea?” Poe nodded and got up to follow his father into the kitchen. You squeezed Poe’s hand as he walked past you. He smiled at you and Ben reassuringly. You smiled back at him. Once they were in the kitchen you turned to Ben. He let out a huff of breathe and you giggled nervously. You slid over to sit next to Ben.

“I’ve never met someone’s parents before.” Ben whispered.

“I know and Kes is…” You followed Ben’s lead and whispered.

“He has a presence for sure. Very intimidating.” You nodded and leaned closer.

“Did you see him look at our rings.” Ben nodded and showed his fear from that. “I thought he was going to ask us about it.”

“I like that we’re the only ones Poe’s ever introduced to his father.” You smiled widely and took Ben’s hand in both of yours.

“Me too, he really loves us. I can feel it so much in our bond.”

“Is that what you think it is?” You shrugged.

“We already had a bond, maybe this planet or the timing just allowed Poe to be a part of it. The Force is odd. We could leave and the bond be gone.”

“I hope not, it’s a little overwhelming but I feel so much closer to you both. This planet, you feel the strength in the Force here.”

“I do, it’s incredible. I think if time allows, you need to do some meditating here. It could help you step on the path to the Grey Jedi.” Ben nodded and looked forward thoughtfully. You leaned your head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of your head. When Kes and Poe came back they handed you tea and talked about what Poe has been up too since the last time he visited. When Poe talked about the events of a few months ago, he left out that he had been captured. Eventually, Kes asked something that no one wanted to answer.

“So, how did you all meet?” Kes took a sip of his tea and waited. You looked at each other unsure how to start.

“I was sent out on a mission to a planet because Luke had been getting messages from there.” Poe said carefully.

“Through the Force?” Kes asked and Poe nodded.

“When I got there I found (Y/N).” Kes’s eyes widened.

“You’re a Jedi?” You nodded and smiled small.

“Ben is as well.” Kes looked over at Ben, eyes still wide. Then Kes quickly turned to Poe.

“Did you tell them-“ Poe shook his head and cut off Kes.

“Not yet, I wanted to surprise them.” Poe and Kes shared a smile like they had a secret, which they obviously did.

“So, that’s how you two met. How did the three of you get together?” Poe looked over at you panicked.

“Well, once Poe brought me to the Resistance I told him about Ben. Then, we eventually all got together and ended up falling in love.” Kes nodded slowly, he looked like he could tell that wasn’t the whole story but he didn’t pry.

“Why don’t you take them out back?” Kes asked and Poe nodded excitedly. You three set your cups on the coffee table and Poe told you to get your shoes on. Once you had your shoes on Poe took both of your hands and walked you through the kitchen out a back door. You were on a deck and you seen it immediately. Or rather you felt it. You found yourself in a trance like state as you let go of Poe’s hand and walked forward. You stopped when you reached an odd tree that was on the edge of the clearing. It was small and the branches twisted in funny ways. It was different then any other tree on the planet. You knew then that this was why the Force was so strong here. You closed your eyes and rested you hand on the trunk. You took a sharp breathe in as the Force washed over you. You never felt so in tune with the Force, it was amazing. You took your hand away and spun around. Poe was almost to you and Ben was beside you with his hand on the tree.

“What is this?” You asked Poe when you reached you.

“It’s a Force sensitive tree. Luke got it from the temple in Coruscant. He gave a part of a Force sensitive tree that grew there to my parents. They planted it here.” You turned back around and Ben still had his hand on the tree. His body and face was completely relaxed. You could feel the peace and calm he was feeling.

“It’s amazing.” You said softly and Poe put his hand on the tree.

“I know I don’t feel what you feel but I can still tell it’s an amazing tree.” You put your hand on Poe’s and closed your eyes. You let the Force surround you knowing that Poe would be able to feel what you felt through the bond.

“Wow.” Poe whispered and you smiled. You took your hand away and opened your eyes. You turned to Poe and grabbed both sides of his face.

“Thank you.” You kissed Poe quickly. “For introducing us to your father and for this.” You looked at the tree for a second before turning back to Poe. He looked at you full of love.

“You’re welcome.” He said very softly and you leaned forward. You kissed Poe slow and softly. He put his hands on your waist and pulled you against him. You felt Ben’s hand on your back so you pulled away. He was looking at you and Poe. The love on both of your faces was reflected on his. He had a hand on both of your backs and he leaned down to kiss Poe before he kissed you.

“Would you mind Poe, if me and Ben meditated for a while?” Poe smiled softly and shook his head.

“Of course not. I’ll go help my father make dinner and you both can meditate. I’ll get you when it’s time to eat.” You kissed Poe’s cheek.

“I love you so much. Forever.”

“And I love you. Forever.” Ben said before kissing Poe’s forehead. Poe blushed.

“I love you both, forever. Now go, meditate.” He gently pushed you both away with a laugh and turned around to head back to the house. You laughed lightly and took Ben’s hand. You lead him over to the tree. You sat down, your backs resting on the tree. You both crossed your legs and closed your eyes. You free hands rested on your knees.

“Now, take deep even breathes. Focus on relaxing all your muscles.”

“I know how to meditate, (Y/N).”

“No, you know how to focus on the darkness. Listen to my guidance and no more talking.” You said sternly before continuing. “Let me know when your ready for the next step.” It was a couple minutes before Ben responded.

“Ready.” Ben said softly.

“Good, now don’t focus on the Force. Let it surround you. Lose yourself in it. When you do it properly I shouldn’t be able to reach you unless I use the Force.” You waited a few minutes before talking again. “Ben. Ben can you hear me?” Nothing, so you reached out in the Force. “Now, here's the important part, Ben. Let the lines between you and the Force blur. Use it to help you control your emotions. Let the Force help you gain control of your emotions. I’ll be here the whole time if you need.” You stopped talking and followed your own advice.

 

You felt a hand on your shoulder and slowly opened your eyes. You looked up and your eyes tried to adjust to the dim light. Poe was looking down at you smiling brightly.

“Dinner is ready.” You nodded and turned to Ben. You reached out to him in the Force.

“Ben, come back to us.” Ben stirred and his eyes opened slowly. “How do you feel?” You asked him out loud. He started at you, obviously baffled.

“I… I… It’s… _Gone_.” You laughed he was acting so strangely.

“What’s gone?” You asked while chuckling.

“The Darkness.” Your face fell and you stared at him. Now it was your turn to be baffled. Poe sat crossed legged facing Ben, with an equally as confused and shocked look on his face.

“What do you mean?” You whispered.

“I mean, all I feel is the light.” A giggle escaped Ben’s mouth and he covered his mouth with his hand. A huge smile spread across your face. He lowered his hand and spoke. “I still have to work on controlling my emotions. I could still go back but… I’ve never felt like this. I, I, I don’t even know!” Ben threw his hands up in the air and laughed loudly. Tears were falling down his face. You tackled Ben to the ground and wrapped your arms around him. You felt Poe tackle you and all of you started laughing uncontrollably. Somehow you eventually all stopped laughing and found yourselves laying on your backs side pressed against side, hand in hand. Every once in a while a wow, or amazing, would escape someones mouth. You laid there staring at the darkening sky.

“We should probably go in to eat.” Poe said though he made no move to get up. You decided to make the first move. You stood up and stretched. “Come on, boys. We shouldn’t keep Kes or BB-8 waiting.” Ben and Poe stood up and you all walked back to the house. The dinning table was already set and Kes was there waiting.

“About time, let’s eat.” Kes said and BB-8 beeped an affirmative even though he doesn’t even eat.

 

After dinner Kes made up a bonfire outside and you all sat around it. Kes told stories about Poe as a kid. He even brought out a photo album. Whenever Kes told an embarrassing story, Poe’s face got bright red. It was the cutest thing, almost as cute as baby Poe was. Eventually the conversation died down and Poe excused himself into the house. He had BB-8 come with him. It was a while before they came back but when he did he had his guitar case in had.

“Sorry it took me so long. I forgot this in the ship.”

“Are you going to sing now?!” You exclaimed and Poe nodded with a big smile. You and Ben leaned against each other as Poe sat across from you both. He got out his guitar and strummed a little.

“Alright, I wrote this so…” Poe looked nervous and he took a couple deep breathes before beginning. Immediately you could tell it was a love song and the more he sang you could tell it was about the three of you. It was absolutely beautiful and neither you or Ben could stop the tears that fell. You all had been crying so much lately. Poe’s voice and the sound of the guitar disappeared into the air as the song ended.

“Poe that was… Wow, you… I don’t even have words besides I love you." Ben said as Poe put the guitar back in the case. Poe rubbed his neck and looked up.

“You liked it?” BB-8 spun around and beeped out it was amazing.

“Poe it was beautiful!” You cried out and grabbed his hand. You pulled him towards you and he ended up with his knees on either side of your legs. You clasped your hands together behind his neck and kissed him deeply. You heard Kes clear his throat and you pulled back. You gave Poe a shy smile and Poe laughed. He gave you a quick peck before looking over at Ben. Ben leaned forward and gave him a small quick kiss.

“I’ll thank your properly later.” Ben whispered so Poe’s father couldn’t hear and Poe gulped.

“It’s getting late, you guys can stay in Poe’s old room.” Kes said but Poe shook his head.

“No, we should get going.” Poe said as he stood up. You and Ben stood up. Kes walked over to Poe and hugged him tightly.

“Don’t wait so long next time to visit.” Poe nodded and stepped away from his father. Kes walked over to Ben and hugged him. Ben was caught off guard and looked scared. You stifled a giggle. “You, join the Resistance.” Kes pulled away from Ben and gave him a stern look. Then he came over to you and gave you a tight hug. He talked in your ear. “You keep those two boys in line.”

“I will, Kes. I’m so happy to have met you. Thank you for Poe. He is an amazing man.” Kes pulled away and glanced at Poe who had his arm around Ben.

“He turned out pretty good, didn’t he?”

“He sure did.” Kes walked you all to the front door. You said your good byes and headed to the ship.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, just some lovely smut.

As soon as you stepped into Ben’s home you went straight for the bedroom, to sleep. You were all exhausted, more emotionally then anything. When you woke up it was mid day and the two boys were still out cold. You were sandwiched between them. Both of their arms draped across you and all your legs tangled together. Some one’s elbow was poking at your side. You wiggled but they didn’t budge. You didn’t really want to wake them but you weren’t exactly comfortable and you had to go to the bathroom. It seemed most mornings ended up with you having to wake them.

“Alright sleepy heads, I love you but for Force sake please move! Ben, Poe. Please get up. Come on, please. Ben! Poe!” Nothing, from either of them. “If BB-8 could get up stairs, I would have him zap you both in the ass. Ugh! Fine, time to play dirty.” Your arms were stuck by your sides but that left your hands awfully close to their groins. You wiggled your hands till you felt their underwear band. You slipped your hands under the band and gripped both of their dicks. Look, there’s worse ways to wake up and you might get some enjoyment out of this too. You started to stroke and they both started to make small groans. You gasped and found out you were still bonded. It wasn't as strong but your could faintly feel their pleasure. You smirked and kept going. Poe’s hips bucked and he smiled but you could tell he was still asleep. They both were, they probably thought they were having a wet dream. This was not turning out how you plained but you kept stroking them. They were both hard in your hands now. You ran your thumb over both of their tips feeling pre cum and they both bucked their hips. You were getting turned on now. They were making sleepy moans and groans. Their breathing was increasing as they got closer to their release. You could feel their pleasure increase. You pulled harder and stroked faster. Soon both of their dicks twitched and they came together. Moans shot out of their mouths and their eyes opened. They fell back on their backs away from you. You took your hands out of their underwear and wiped your hands off on them. “You boys might want to clean up.” You said with a huge smirk. You got up and went to the bathroom. When you came back they were sitting up leaning against the headboard naked, their ruined underwear discarded on the floor. They both looked at you smirking and you stopped in the doorway.

“Why don’t you come here, beautiful.” Poe said seductively, it sent a shiver down your spine.

“Come here, love.” Ben’s words were a purr. 

“We just want to thank you.” Poe said sweetly and you walked forward. Wetness was pooling in between your legs. You stopped by the side of the bed and Poe reached out for your hand. He gripped your wrist and pulled you gently forward. You got on the bed in between them. 

‘Lay back, love.” Ben’s voice was soft and sweet. You started to lay back but Ben finished talking first. “After you take your shirt off.” You stripped your (Poe’s shirt) off and threw it on the floor. Poe licked his bottom lip and then bit it. You could feel their love and want for you. You fought a moan right there. You laid down on your back and they laid on either side of you. They both started to suck and kiss each side of your neck. You let out a moan and the heat in your core was building. Their hands intertwined and rested on your stomach. Ben made a nibble on your collar bone and you gasped in pleasure. Poe did the same thing on the other side and you gasped again. They moved down leaving matching bites in their path. They reached your breasts and they swirled their tongues around you nipples. They were moving in unison and it was killing you. You tried to reach for something but their bodies were pinning your arms. 

You wiggled in pleasure as they both licked your nipples. You eyes closed shut as their teeth grazed your nipples. You moaned out their names and they sucked your nipples. They were hard and sensitive. You begged them to touch your but then didn’t listen. They sucked and bit their way slowly, too slowly, down your chest and stomach. They sat up and you opened your eyes. They moved down and Poe pulled off your underwear. You shuddered when the cold air hit your wet core. They lifted your legs up and pushed their heads together. They rested your legs on their shoulders and you could feel their hot breathe against you. You grabbed both of their hair and tried to push them down. Poe shook his heads and they attacked your thighs. They bit and sucked a while before you pleaded for them to touch you and they stopped. 

Their tongues went down towards your core together and you thought you were going to release right there. They both looked at you through hooded lids and licked your clit in unison. All three of you let out a moan. They gripped your hips hard leaving marks to stop you from bucking your hips. You moaned out cusses as they continued their assault on your clit. They let out moans here and there, either from the sight of you or from your bond. Eventually, Poe leaned back and you watched him lick your wetness off his lips. You bit your bottom lip hard. Ben lapped up your entire cunt and your head fell back. Ben gripped your hips with both of his hands hard as he licked down by your opening and then licking up to your clit. Back and forth never licking where you want. You moved both your hands to Ben’s hair and tried to force him to where you wanted but he wasn’t having it. Poe came up and attacked your mouth with his. You closed your eyes and his tongue dance around your mouth. You could taste yourself on him and you moaned against his mouth. Ben stopped licking at and you pulled away from Poe whining. They both laughed and Poe ran his hand threw your hair.

“Be patient, beautiful.” You were a sweating, panting mess so you just opened your eyes and scowled at him. Then Ben stuck a finger in you and your eyes shut tight again. He pumped his finger a few times before slipping a second in. 

“Fuck!” You called out and they also groaned. Ben crocked his fingers so he hit your spot. “Baby, you are so… Fuck… Good at that.” Your heat was building and building. Your whole body shook as your orgasm washed over you. “Ben! Poe!” You called out when you reached your peak. Ben pulled his fingers out once you were done ridding out your orgasm. Ben came up beside you and you watched him suck his fingers clean. You moaned at the sight as Poe went down between your legs. “What are you do- Fuck! No, baby. No!” Poe sucked your oversensitive clit. Ben kissed you and ran his hand through your hair. He tasted like you too and you moaned against his mouth. You had to pull away though because Poe was wreaking you.

“You’re doing so good, love.” Ben cooed. Poe licked up a few times between your lips before swirling his tongue around your clit. “Cum for us, baby.” Ben whispered in your ear and that was all you needed.

“Fuck! Shit!” Your second orgasm washed over you and you were gasping and moaning as your whole body shook. Poe licked up all your wetness while you came down. You finally stilled and your breathing slowed. Poe sat up and you watched him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. “That was cruel.” Your voice was horse from all the scream and moaning. “But also amazing.” You smirked as Poe came up beside you. Both of them smiled at you and kissed your face sweetly. Poe looked over at Ben and they kissed lovingly above you. When they pulled away Ben had a fire in his eyes. 

“I want you, please.” You could hear the want in Ben’s voice and Poe gulped. You both knew what he was asking. Poe nodded but held his hand up.

“I need to get something from my bag.” Poe sounded nervous and Ben looked nervous. You could feel the nervousness and excitement from both of them. They both pulled away from you and you sat up against the headboard. You weren’t going to get involved, this was their moment. Fuck if you weren’t going to watch, though. 

Ben sat in the middle of the bed on his knees. Poe went over to his bag and rummaged around before pulling out a bottle. Poe came back and sat in front of Ben. 

“Alright, we haven’t really talked about this. What do you know? Do you know what this is?” Poe held up the bottle and he sounded like a concerned parent. Ben smiled and nodded.

“That’s lube and I know what it’s for. I know that you need to stretch me first and then-“ Ben leaned in close and lowered his voice seductively. “-you’re going to fuck me.” Poe dropped the bottle and attacked Ben’s mouth. His hands wound into Ben’s hair and Ben’s hands went to Poe’s hair. Teeth clashed and tongues fought. It was a long passionate needy kiss full of love and want. One of Poe’s hands slid down Ben’s back, stopping at his ass. He squeezed and Ben gasped against Poe’s mouth. They were both hard. Poe pulled away and they were panting. Poe caressed Ben’s face. 

“Lay on your back, darling.” Poe said softly and Ben nodded. Ben laid down and spread his legs. Poe ran his hands up and down Ben’s legs before picking them up and placing them on his shoulders. He rubbed Ben’s thigh comforting. “You need to relax, okay? This isn’t going to be good if you can’t.” Ben nodded and placed a hand on Poe’s chest.

“I’m good, love.” They smiled at each other lovingly before Poe picked up the bottle. He held out two finger and put a generous amount on them. He put the bottle down and placed a hand on Ben’s chest. 

“I’m not going to do anything without telling you. You can stop me at any moment. If you change your mind, tell me.” Ben nodded and flashed a wide smile. Their nerves were slowly being replaced by excitement and want. “I’m going to spread this around your entrance. I’m just going to massage it, not enter you.” Poe gently placed his fingers on Ben's entrance and massaged. Ben’s moaned softly and put his hand that was on Poe’s chest in Poe’s hair. After a little while Poe put more liquid on one finger. “Alright, I’m going to put a finger in. Ready?” Ben was watching Poe very intensely and nodded. Poe just barely stuck his finger in and he groaned. “You’re so tight.” Poe rubbed Ben’s left ass cheek and thigh. “Relax, I can feel you tensing.” Ben left out a breath.

“Sorry, love. I’m trying.” Poe smiled warmly. 

“I know. I’m not going to move until you relax.” Slowly Ben’s body relaxed and Poe’s finger slid in more. Ben let out a low moan. 

“Don’t stop.” Ben whispered and Poe nodded. He slid his finger in the rest of the way and slowly pulled it back out all the way. He did that a few times before stopping and picking up the bottle. He coated two fingers and dropped the bottle. He spread Ben’s ass cheeks with one hand and slowly inserted the tip of his two fingers. Ben sucked in air and Poe stopped. “Please move.” 

“You sure?” Ben nodded fast and Poe smiled. He slid the fingers in and groaned. “You feel so good.” Poe got his fingers in all the way and stopped. “Move or hold. You’re tensing again.”

“Hold, let me relax.” Poe nodded and ran his hand all over Ben’s stomach soothingly. Ben relaxed and nodded. “Okay.” Poe slowly slid his fingers in and out a few times. “Faster.” Ben whispered and Poe listened. He slightly increased his speed with each thrust. Then he stopped and looked at Ben. Ben nodded and Poe smiled. Poe turned to you.

“(Y/N), can you throw me a pillow?” You nodded and handed it to him. Poe took his fingers out of Ben and grabbed it. Ben whined a little at the lost contact. Poe lifted Ben’s ass and put the pillow under him. Poe grabbed the bottle and coated his length and Ben's entrance. Then he laid down on top of Ben and lined himself up with Ben’s whole. He ran the tip of his cock around his entrance and they both moaned. “Ready?” Poe asked and Ben nodded quickly.

“Fuck yes.” Ben breathed out. Poe chuckled and leaned down to kiss Ben. 

“Me too, darling.” Poe slowly slid the tip in and Poe groaned. “You’re so fucking tight.” He slid in a little more and stopped but Ben shook his head.

“Don’t stop.” Poe nodded and slowly slid in all the way. Then he stopped. “Don’t move.” Ben said and Poe kissed him for while letting Ben get used to the feeling. Then he kissed his neck and bit it. Ben gasped and his hips buck. Which made Poe move and they both moaned. “Move!” Ben yelled out and Poe slowly slid out and back in. One of Ben’s hands gripped Poe’s ass and the other wound in his hair. Poe kept working on Ben’s neck and slowly thrusting. Poe thrust a little harder and Ben gasped. 

“Right there?” Poe asked and Ben nodded. Poe kissed Ben sloppily. Poe speed up a little and both of their breathing increased. Between watching them and feeling their pleasure through the bond, you were getting wet again. They made grunts and moans as Poe continued his thrusts. He moved over to the other side of Ben’s neck, making matching marks. “You feel so good… You’re so tight. You’re doing so good… So fucking good.” Poe panted out against Ben’s neck. 

“Harder.” Ben whispered and Poe thrust harder. Ben’s head fell back and his eyes squeezed tight. Poe watched Ben’s face. 

“I’m… close.” Poe barely got out. 

“Touch me… I want to cum with you.” Poe moaned loudly and grabbed Ben’s dick. He stroked hard in rhythm with his thrusts. You could feel their pleasure building together as they both got closer. “Fuck. Fuck. Love, I’m, I’m-“ 

“Me too.” A couple more hard thrusts and they both came. “Ben!” 

“Poe!” Ben crashed his lips against Poe’s and Poe keep going until they both stopped shaking from their orgasm. They stopped kissing and Poe let go of Ben’s dick. Poe collapsed on top of him. Ben ran his hand on Poe’s back soothingly. “That was amazing, love. So fucking good.” Poe chuckled and kissed Ben’s chest.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I certainly did. If I wasn’t so damn hungry, I’d fall asleep in your arms right now.” Ben chuckled. You got off the bed, put some underwear on and slipped into your robe. 

“Why don’t you boys clean up and I’ll go make us something.” You walked out and down the stairs. BB-8 beeped at you angrily causing you to jump. “Sorry BB-8. Yeah, we just woke up. Yesterday, really wore us out. They yelling was nothing don't worry.” You walked to the kitchen and BB-8 followed. BB-8 beeped about being excluded and it being boring. “Poe said you might not have fun here.” You moved around the kitchen fixing up something to eat. When the came down Ben wrapped an arm around your torso from behind you and put his head on your shoulder. His other arm came up and he set his hand on your chest.

“I like this robe.” He said as he ran the silky black material in his fingers.

“I thought you might.” His hand slid down into the robe and he grabbed your breast. You smacked his hand but he didn’t let go. You shook your head with a smirk. “If you want food then you might want to let go.” Ben chuckled as he squeezed it once before letting go. You finished up food and carried the three plates over to the living room. Ben was leaning against Poe and Poe was playing with Ben’s wet hair. They were both in just sweat pants. You handed them a plate and sat down next to Ben. 

“Thank you, love.” 

“Thank you, beautiful.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

The rest of the day you spent being lazy. You all sat on the couch and talked or watched holovids. Everybody was blissfully happy. Even BB-8 was happy, now that everybody was downstairs and there was no more yelling.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's contacted by Snoke.

Three days passed and the bond between the three of you was still there. It wasn’t as strong, you had to focus on the person or project to really get a grip on the others feelings. You spent time meditating with Ben and Poe. You realized Poe must be slightly Force sensitive for the bond to work as it does. Still, Poe doesn’t really get the meditating but he sits there, just happy to spend time with the both of you. Ben was finally able to put a shield up but it isn’t as strong as yours yet. Ben still didn’t have any darkness in him. Amazingly, he didn’t even have a call to the darkness. That was about to be put the test, though.

 

You jolted awake in panic. You looked to your left and Poe was up as well with the same look on his face. You both looked down at Ben who was thrashing around in his sleep. His eyes were closed tight but you could see his face was stained with tears. He was having a horrible nightmare, you both could feel it.

“Ben, Ben. Wake up, baby. It’s only a dream.” You tried to calmly wake him but it wasn’t working. Poe gently shook him.

“Ben, darling. Wake up, you’re dreaming. It’s just a dream.” Poe tried to reach him but it wasn’t working. Then Ben started mumbling and it sounded like he was saying no over and over again. You could feel his panic, his heart break. Something terrible was happening in his nightmare.

“I’m going to try and reach him with the Force.” Your voice was strained with fear. Poe nodded but never took his eyes or hand off Ben. “Ben, Ben, it’s (Y/N). You’re having a nightmare. Please, wake up. Please, Ben, please wake up.” Suddenly, Ben shot up and looked around widely. You and Poe immediately put a hand on his back and rubbed it soothingly. Ben looked at you and then Poe.

“Are you really here?” Ben’s voice was just a whisper. You reached out with your other hand and touched his cheek. Poe grabbed Ben’s hand with his free one.

“Yes, we’re here. It was just a dream, Ben. It’s okay, everything’s okay. I love you.” You said soothingly as you stroked his cheek with your thumb.

“I love you, it’s okay.” Poe said before kissing Ben’s shoulder. Ben’s body was covered in sweat, his hair was suck to his face. You pushed it back and kissed his cheek.

“Ben, do you want to talk about it?” Ben stared forward and you could see him slowing his breathing.

“It wasn’t a dream.” Ben’s voice was strained and his jaw clenched.

“What do you mean?” Poe asked, the worry in his voice evident.

“It wasn’t a dream, Snoke reached out to me.” Your face paled and your stomached dropped. “He’s found a way to reach me here. He thought I had died with Hux but now he knows neither I nor Hux died. He knows the darkness is gone. He knows about both of you. That’s all he could get from me though. He’s angry and he’s sending the Knights of Ren here, now. It won’t be long and they’ll be here. He showed you both dying in the house by the hands of my Knights and I couldn’t do anything about it. I, I watched you both die.” Ben’s voice cracked and his hands went into fists as tears rolled down his face. “You both need to leave. I will fight them, while you flee.” You shook your head ferociously and your hands went into fist.

“No, I will not run. You don’t have to do this alone. You can’t do this alone.” You got off the bed and started getting dressed. “Come on. Get dressed and pack a bag. Who knows when we’ll be back.” Neither of them said anything but they did as you said. You were ready and dressed first. You ran downstairs knowing what needed to be done first. BB-8 asked if we’re leaving. “Yeah BB-8, follow me as I talk.” You put your shoes on and went outside to the x-wing. “I need you to get in the ship BB-8. I need you to be ready to leave. You and Poe are going to be leaving. Me and Ben will follow you, okay?” BB-8 beeped worriedly. You put your bag in the x-wing and helped BB-8 into the ship. “Don’t worry BB-8, just do what I say. Make sure Poe leaves and goes to the base, that is your main goal.” BB-8 beeped a worried affirmative when Poe and Ben came outside. Ben was dressed in his robes, like when you first seen him after all those years. His helmet was absent, though.

“What are you doing with BB-8?” Poe asked as he came up to you. The fear was thick in his voice. You took their bags and put them into the x-wing before standing in front of Poe. You were shaking and fighting not to cry. The lump in your throat was painful.

“Poe, get in the x-wing and leave.” You voice was tense and tears slipped out of your eyes when you seen Poe’s face. He looked broken, you never wanted to see him like this. Better this than dead, you kept told yourself. “Poe, you can’t fight these guys. You need to leave.” He shook his head fiercely.

“No! I c-can’t leave you two! I w-won't!” Poe yelled and his voice cracked.

“Poe please!” You sobbed and walked over to Ben who was stood behind Poe frozen. His face void of anything as he stared at the ground. You took Ben’s wedding ring off his finger before removing your own. You walked over to Poe who was now crying. You lifted his hand palm up and placed the rings in his hand. You curled his fingers around them and held his hand. “Take these. I want you to hold onto them… N-no matter what happens remember how much we love you. Remember that, promise.” You looked at him through blurry tear filled eyes. His jaw was clenched and he nodded once. He knows he needs to leave but he doesn’t want to. Whether he realized it or not, he was projecting feelings of love and pain, so much that it was breaking your heart. You let go of his hand and he put the rings in his pocket. You grabbed on to his jacket and pulled him to you forcefully. You crashed your lips against his. It was a desperate kiss that tasted of tears. You pulled away and put your hand on his cheek. “I love you. Forever, I will never stop. That love will keep me going. That love will let me see you again.” Poe held onto the hand that was on his cheek.

“I love you. Forever.” His voice was rough and strained. He let go of your hand and you dropped yours. You looked at him one last time before you ran back towards the door. You stood up straight, jaw clenched and hands curled so tightly your nails were breaking the skin of your palms as you watched them say goodbye. Poe turned around to Ben and wrapped his arms around him. Ben wrapped his arms around Poe and pressed his face into Poe’s hair. “I love you, Ben. You better get you two out of here safe or I swear- I love you. Forever. I never thought I’d love anyone as much as I love the both of you.” Ben pulled away and kissed Poe. Their hands wound into each others hair. It was a dirty and desperate kiss that left them breathless. Poe stepped away from Ben and nodded once.

“I love you Poe. I love you so fucking much. I will see you again, I promise. I love you. Forever.” Ben then turned around and walked straight for you. He pulled you into a tight embrace. He buried his head in your neck and let go the tears he had been holding. You rubbed his back and watched Poe climb into the x-wing. You watched him fly away until you couldn’t see the ship anymore. Ben slowly pulled away and his face was set. Jaw clenched just like yours.

‘We’re going to kill these bastards and go see Poe. There’s six in totally, so we need to spilt them by three. We can easily take out three each.” Your voice was rough and you heard the anger in it. You believed your words, though. You had too...

“(Y/N), they are strong. It will be im-“ You cut Ben off not caring to hear what he was going to say.

“Remember we are fighting them using the light. We are fighting them using our love of Poe, not our hatred of them. We are stronger now. The light will always push out the darkness. You need to tell yourself this, other wise you’re throwing your life away! Do you hear me?!”Ben nodded once and turned to walk into the house.

“Follow me.” He said gently and he lead you to the only room you haven’t been in before, the room next to his office. You walked in and the floor and walls were all black. He went over to a door on the right wall and opened it. Inside was a closet for his robes. He grabbed his helmet and grabbed a padded shirt. He handed you the shirt and you shrugged the jacket off. You put it on over your t-shirt and put your jacket back on. You took Ben’s hand that wasn’t holding the helmet and lead him back outside. You turned to him and grabbed his helmet. You put it on the ground and held both of his hands. Ben looked down at the ground not meeting your eyes. "There's something you don't know about the Knights of Ren."

"What? There's a lot of things I don't know. I need to know everything if we stand a chance."

"The thing in particular is about where they came from." Ben spoke very softly.

"What do you mean? You said Snoke searched the galaxy for them." Ben shook his head slowly. 

"I lied, you know where they really came from." You stared at him like he was talking nonsense.

"What are you-." Then it hit you. You paled and grabbed Ben's chin a little too rough. You lifted his face and made him look at you. "No, no, I don't believe it." You knew the truth in Ben's eyes though. "How?! Luke never... But... No... Poor Luke. Who, tell me their names!" Ben then listed off the six names of students you had trained with under Luke. You shook your head. "How did I never know about them? Why did know one tell me?!" You felt betrayed. Like the wound you had when Ben had left was slashed open by a lightsaber. You dropped Ben's chin and shook your head. You couldn't focus on that now. "It doesn't matter. The past is the past. We must face them." You turned to Ben, guilt on his face. "Stop looking like that. I love you. Forever.” You said quietly. Ben smiled slightly.

“I love you. Forever.” Ben's voice came out clearly and forcefully. You wrapped your hands in his hair and you kissed him. It was just like the kiss between you and Poe. Except, Ben put his hands under your ass and picked you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he held you for a long time before letting you down.

“Now, let’s sit and wait. We'll meditate on the light while you send me information on all of them through the force.” Ben nodded and you sat on the ground cross legged, holding hands. Somehow, you both were going to make it out of this. You would see to it.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take on the Knights of Ren.

It wasn’t until the next night that you felt them approaching the planet. This was a good thing for a few reasons. It gave Poe longer to get away, in fact he should of been back at the base for a while. You and Ben had time to meditate which would help your mental strength and you had time to eat which helped your physical strength. As well, you had time to put your shields up and talk about a plain. You both had decided that Ben would activate the weapon that he had used to bring down Poe’s ship once they were approaching the planet. The weapon will shoot their ship down which should at least injure some, hopefully. Ben would go to Poe’s downed x-wng and wait for them to come to him. You would be with him but in the shadows. You had the element of surprise, since your shield makes it nearly impossible to be detected. Ben had never been around you when you had your shield up to completely. You stood right behind him and he said if not for the breath against his neck, he would say there was no one there. There was some bad things about when they showed up, though. It gave you both longer to worry and stress, it was night when they arrived and it had started to pour. You and Ben both felt ill when it started to rain. It was just like that night all those years ago. The difference now was you and Ben would stand together with the light.

As soon as you felt them Ben activated the weapon and you both ran to the x-wing. Once at the x-wing, you hugged each other tight. There was no talking only one last look before Ben put on his helmet and you went off into the shadows. You waited in your spot and watched as the ship got closer and closer until the side of it exploded. The ship was moving fast towards the ground and crashed aways away to the west of you. They would have to walk past you to get to Ben, so you ran towards the ship. Ben wouldn’t like that but this was best. You could feel all of their presences and strongly. You slightly cursed, at least one of their presences should of left or faltered from the crash. You stopped still aways from the ship and waited. It was a few minutes before you felt them start to move towards Ben. They all moved together, coming your way. You made sure to be out of their path as you inched closer to the ship. You wished they wouldn’t move to together, you could usually take them out if they were separated. Which was obviously why they did it.

You held your saber in your hand and hid behind a tree as they walked past you. They were all dressed in black robes and masks, like Ben's. In the back was someone shorter than the rest and you knew it was Shira Leana. You had once thought of her as a close friend, your only close friend besides Ben. “Shira.” You whispered into the Force and you watched her stop. The others took no notice of her as she turned and walked your way. She stood behind you, on the other side of the tree. Suddenly, you heard a light saber ignite and you ducked. She sliced her saber through the middle of the tree barely missing you. The red saber glowed above your head. You ignited your saber and moved around the tree to face her. When she spoke her voice was distorted from her mask.

“(Y/N), been a long time. Thought you had died but when Snoke said Ben was fucking some Jedi I knew it had to be you. Got even better at shielding I see, impresive. I was always jealous of you for that, course you’ve always had so much to hide. Speaking of, where’s your other lover, hmm?” As she talked you and her circled around each other, sabers held out ready for the other to strike.

“You and me used to be friends, Shira. What happened?” You spoke low and soft, trying to appeal to any light she may have, a useless attempt. She laughed sarcastically, the sound came out odd through her helmet. The sound sent shivers down your spine.

“Poor (Y/N), we were never friends. Snoke had me get close to you so he could keep tabs on Ben's lover.” She spoke matter of factly and you had to fight the anger bubbling up.

“Good.” Her movements faltered for a moment, shocked by your words and the stern look on your face. “That takes away any guilt I have for killing you.” She laughed again as you Force flipped behind her. You swung your saber towards her but she was ready and deflected it easily. You locked sabers pushing against each other. You closed your eyes and let the Force flow through you. Slowly you pushed the sabers closer to her throat and she growled. If she would move out of the grip she could get you another way. She would never move away, though. “You always had to prove you were stronger. That will be your downfall.” You said as you made one finally push and your sabers went through her neck. You picked up her fallen saber and hooked it to your hip. You stood over her body for a second and whispered. “I’m truly sorry, Shira. I hope you find peace in the Force.”

You ran towards the group that was making their way towards Ben. They were getting to close, you needed to take on another quick. They would know you were coming, since they would know Shira died. They still shouldn’t know where you were, though. You could see the figures in the distance, their robes flowing behind them. You followed close and noticed another one towards the front that was shorter than the rest. It was Kendall, he was strong but his size would be easier to take then the others. “Kendall.” You whispered into the Force and he stopped causing the whole group to stop with him. You silently cursed, you had made a bad choice. Ben had warned that one of them might be the new leader but he didn’t know who. You were pretty sure you just found out.

“Hem, Weston, we have a old friend hiding in the shadows behind us. Take her out quick and meet back up with us.” His deep distorted voice ran out through the forest. He wanted you to hear him as he stared right in your direction, sending a shiver through you. Shit, you thought. Hem and Weston were the biggest of the group. Hem held a long staff that was he’s saber. Weston had a large paddle of sorts that was also his saber. They both bowed and turned to your direction. The other three continued towards Ben. You grabbed the saber you had hooked to your hip and stepped out from your hiding place. You ignited both of the sabers as they ignited theirs. They were a couple feet in front of you waiting for you to move.

“(Y/N), lovely to see you again.” Weston’s voice rang out sweetly even through his mask. He had always been a sweet talker. You never trusted him, you could see the cruelty he hid. You tried to tell Luke once but he dismissed you.

“Wish I could say the same, Weston.” You spat.

“Oh, come come (Y/N). That’s no way to talk to old friends.” Hem tried to sound like Weston but failed. You could easily hear the malice in his voice. You didn’t remember much about Hem, besides he mostly kept to himself.

“Stop talking and move so I can kill you.” You had to take a quick breath, hopefully this would work. The closer the others got to Ben, the more your anger bubbled.

“Wow, you would of made a great knight. To bad you hid yourself all these years. I really don’t want to kill you, (Y/N). We could have so much _fun_ instead. You look even better than you did all those years ago.” You hid a shiver at his pass at you. It was what you wanted, though. You made your face look shocked. 

“Really... Why don’t you leave Hem so me and Weston can _catch up_.” Your voice was a purr and you heard Weston’s breath catch under in his helmet. You fought a smirk.

“Leave Hem!” Weston called out.

“But Kendall said we-"

“I don’t care about that impersonator! Go!” Hem seemed hesitant but he turned and walked away. Weston retracted his saber and you retracted both of yours. He slipped off his helmet and he looked almost the exactly the same, just older. His eyes were lustful and anger, a bad combination. If you played this right, though you would be okay. He dropped his helmet to the ground and slowly walked towards you. He moved to his hand to his stomach and pulled his robes away as he walked. “I’ve wanted this for a long time. You were always with Ben, so I could never act. I always knew you were a slut, such a pretty one." You swallowed the bile that came up and smiled.

“Me too. If Ben wasn’t so possessive I would of acted all those years ago.” You lied through clenched teeth. He stood right in front of you now, cock out.

“I can feel Ben in my head. I’ll enjoy it knowing he’s watching.” You felt like you were going to throw up. Little did you know though, this was all part of the plan. Ben hated it but this was his weakness. You had intended to leave Weston to Ben but you had to act. You still had your sabers in your hand but he didn’t seem to notice. He looked you up and down before placing a hand on your shoulder. He pushed you down to your knees. He grabbed your hair and closed his eyes. This was your chance! As he started to move your head towards him you ignited both sabers. His eyes shot open, full of rage and hatred as he reached back for his paddle. 

“You’ll pay bitch!” He brought his saber down towards you but before it could hit you, you sliced through him. You dropped both of your sabers and fell on to your hands. You knees and hands sank into the mud that had formed from the heavy rain. You were shaking and you had to focus on slowing your breathes down. What an awful way to die, you thought.

“I’m sorry Weston, but you’ve always been a horrible person. I know you deserved no less, probably more.” You hooked Shira’s saber back to your hip and slung his paddle around your shoulders. It was heavy, but who knew if might come in handy. You kept your own saber in your hand and ran towards Ben. They were already there and the closer you got you could hear the loud clashes of sabers. No, he was going against four alone! You slowed and stood at the edge of the small area. You reached out to Ben, “I’m here, back one up towards me.” Ben couldn’t respond but you seen his helmet look in your direct for a split second. He started to move the four surrounding him towards you. It was a dance of sabers and black robes. Hem was the one with his back to you. Good you thought, he would be the next best to take out. You slipped the paddle off not wanting to be slowed down and waited as he got closer. Finally, you ignited your saber and sliced through Hem diagonally. His body fell and Kendall growled as he turned towards you. Tully and Vic keep their focus on Ben. You seen Ben watch as Kendall moved towards you. “I got him Ben, focus on what you’re doing not me. I love you”, you sent that to Ben and stepped towards Kendall. “Hello.” You said cheerfully and he swung his red saber towards you. There was nothing special about his saber, it was much like Ben’s just without the hilt. You blocked his hit and tsk at him. “Now, now Kendall. Remember you need to control your emotions.” You mocked Luke’s voice and he growled at you. You used the Force and you pushed off of his saber to flip behind him. You swung but he was already there to stop you. You clashed sabers a few times. His movements were still to controled you need him to get angrier. “Weston and Hem didn’t trust you as a leader. Even if you come out of this, how do you plan to take B- Kylo’s spot?”

“That traitor is nothing compared to me!” He swung his saber wildly and you almost got passed him. This was his weekness, just a little more. You clashed sabers and danced around each other as you talked.

“Oh no, you are right. He is far better than you. Alway’s has been. I remember training and how you always failed in comparison. It’s really sad-“

“SHUT UP!” He put his full power into a bad swing, which was perfect for you. Your saber sliced through his defenseless side and cut his arm off. His arm and saber fell as he yelled out in pain.

“I’m sorry, Kendall.” You pushed your saber through his heart and he fell to his knees. You pulled your saber out and he fell forward on his stomach. “May you find peace in the Force.” You retracted your saber and fought to stand up. You were so tired and your muscles were screaming. The adrenaline you were running on was wearing thin. Suddenly, you realized it was completely quiet. You spun around to see Ben standing over the other three. His saber was still ignited and his helmet was on the ground. His chest was heavy and you could see his hands were shaking. You slowly moved forward. “Ben, are you okay?” You spoke softly hoping to not startle him. His head shot up and you seen the tears falling down his face. His eyes met yours and a small smile spread across his face.

“Fine, love. Perfect, in fact. We won and there’s still no darkness.” He retracted his saber and hooked it to his side. You hooked your own to your side and shot Ben a wide smile. You let go of your shield, so he could feel your emotions. Relief, love and pride swelled with in you. He smiled wider and you both ran towards each other. You threw your arms around each other in a tight hug.

“Let’s go home to Poe!” You exclaimed and Ben laughed. He picked you up in his arms and spun around. He set you down and kissed you deeply. You were both crying now and this kiss reminded you of your last kiss with Poe. These were happy tears, though. You broke the kiss and stared into each others eyes. Suddenly, Ben's eyes got wide and his face paled. You felt a burning in you stomach and looked down. There was a red saber sticking out of your stomach and you watched it disappear backwards. You looked back up at Ben and smiled weakly. You raised your hand to his cheek and caressed it. “I love you." You whispered before falling backwards into darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, after that ending you may be thinking the story is over but I assure you it is not!


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben confronts your attacker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short!

Ben held you in his arms as your eyes fluttered shut. You were still breathing but for how long he didn’t know. Tears fell down Ben’s face and he looked up at the creature before him. Ben felt guilt, grief and anger building inside him.

“How could you?!” Ben’s voice ran out through the forest. Ben was losing control of his emotions. He knew if he wasn’t careful he would fall back to the Dark Side. Snoke dropped the borrowed saber to the ground.

“You have betrayed me Kylo Ren but you can not escape me. Your life is mine, boy!” Snoke spat out with venom. Ben gently placed you on the ground and caressed your cheek before standing up. He moved forward to tower over Snoke and glared at him. Smoke was a small and frail looking creature in person. “You will watch your beloved die, slowly. Then I will kill the other. Then you will finally be at my will. Completely taken by the dark side.” Ben’s hands went into fist and he shook as he tried to take control of his emotions.

“Kylo Ren is already dead. I am Ben Solo and I will not fall to you again.” Ben closed his eyes and focused on his love for you, for Poe, for Luke, for his mother and for his father. He can’t risk falling to the dark side again. He had to resist for all of them, for all that he had done. He let the Force flow through him and he let it calm him. He reopened his eyes and held his hands out. He’s never tried this before but he was stronger now, much stronger, and some how he knew this would work. Force lightning shot out from Ben’s hands and Snoke’s hand came up in response. For a second Snoke's eyes held shook and approval. Their lightning met in a battle to overcome the other. “You will die and the galaxy will finally have some peace.” Ben said through clenched teeth. He was sweating and panting, while Snoke looked as if he were bored. Ben started to doubt himself when he felt three people approaching the planet. No, he thought. No, turn around and leave! He watched as the Millennium Falcon approached. “Leave! Snoke is here, he will kill you all!” Ben sent out into the Force to Luke and Rey. It was Rey who responded.

“No, he will not. We will stand together and take him down. We kill him and all that you’ve done is forgiven.” Ben sobbed and shook his head back in forth.

“Yes, here they come. They’re basically lining themselves up for me. I will end all of you, once and for all.” Snoke spoke low and menacingly. Ben screamed through gritted teeth. Ben had to try and end him. Ben tried to push forward but he was frozen. Snoke stepped aside and Ben couldn’t angle the lightning towards him. Ben stopped the lightning and focused on trying to fight Snokes hold on him. “You’re going to watch me kill all that you love, slowly. Then, you will finally be ready. This is your last test.” Ben screamed his voice raw while he tried to fight Snoke’s grip on him.

“You’ve already lost! I’m fully in the light! I will never go back! No matter what you do! Let them go and kill me!” Ben yelled as the Falcon landed. He felt only two of the presences moving towards him and he found some relief. Ben looked down at you, you were very pale but still breathing. “Please, kill me not them.” His voice was just a whisper but he knew Snoke heard him. “Take me, kill me, I don’t care but don’t hurt them. I’ve done so much wrong, I can’t be the cause of anymore pain.” Ben closed his eyes and felt a rush of love and strength. It was Poe projecting to him and you. “Do you feel that? Hold on my love.” Ben sent out to you in the Force.

“You are weak, boy! All that work I put into you to make you stronger and this is how you repay me!” Snoke’s voice was laced with rage. Suddenly, Ben found his air way being closed off.

“Ben!” Ray and Luke shouted as they ran towards Ben. Snoke stopped cutting off Ben’s air way and Ben gasped in air. Rey ignited a blue saber and faced Snoke.

“Ahh, the famous recluse and the scavenger who has caused so much trouble. This is all your fault girl!” Snoke shot his hands towards her and she reflected his lightning with a saber. Luke tried to move towards Snoke but he had been froze. Ben and Luke looked at Rey as they were rendered useless.

“You could be so much stronger if you would come with me.” Snoke’s voice was calm and quiet. Rey closed her eyes and let the Force flow through her. She stood for a few seconds before she took a slow step forwards. Rey started to push back Snoke’s lightning and inch forward. Snoke’s eyes changed to fear and Ben watched with wide eyes. She pushed back harder and keep moving forward. Suddenly, Ben had an idea.

“Rey, circle around him and get his back to me. I can’t aim but I can still shoot Force lightning at him.” Rey made no sign that she heard Ben except she started to circle around Snoke.

“You can hold this off as long as you want but you will die.” Rey ignored his comment and keep her eyes closed, fully trusting the Force to guide her. She moved until she had Snoke’s back to Ben. Once in line lightning shot forward and Snoke cried out in pain. He fell to the ground in a crumbled heap. Rey brought her saber up and swung it down. Snoke’s head fell from his shoulders and Ben and Luke were released. Ben fell to his knees but never stopped the lightning. Ben screamed out and Rey and Luke watched in fear.

“Ben…” Luke spoke softly but Ben didn’t budge. Luke inch forwards till he could put his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “(Y/N), needs you Ben.” Ben stopped and looked up at Luke. Ben’s eyes closed and he collapsed onto the ground. “Save her.” Was Ben’s last words before he fell into darkness. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Poe, Rey and Luke showed up.

Poe landed on the D'Qar and jumped out. He quickly helped BB-8 out of the ship before they took off to the command center. He couldn’t remember the last time he’s run that fast. They enter the command center and Poe puts his hands on his knees trying to catch his breathe.

“Poe?” He looked up at the worried General.

“Leia, help.” He never calls the General Leia but this was different. He wasn’t just talking to the General of the Resistance. He was talking to Leia Organa, mother of Ben Solo and mother in law of (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

“What’s wrong?” Her voice was stern. Poe stood after he finally caught his breath.

“Ben, (Y/N), the Knights of Ren are going to or are attacking them.” Leia’s face twisted in pain and worry.

“All of them against just the two of them?” Poe nodded and tears slipped from his eyes.

“Let me take a team or something to go help them.” Leia shook her head and went over to the com system for the base.

“Rey, Luke, report to the command center immediately.” Leia walked back over to Poe. “Only a Jedi will have a chance against the Knights of Ren. The only person to help can be Rey. Rey and Luke will go to them.” Poe’s hands went into fist.

“I’m going with them.” Leia shook her head and looked sadly at Poe.

“No, Poe. You-“

“All due respect General but they are my life, my loves. I am going with them.” Leia looked at Poe with pain and sorrow on her face as she nodded. She understood, he knows she did. She reached out and pulled Poe into a tight embrace.

“I care deeply for all three of you. All of you are my family. Come back, all of you. Please, come back.” Poe didn’t know how to respond but he didn’t think she expected him to anyways. She pulled back and looked at Poe with an odd expression.

“Poe, I felt something in the Force a few days ago. It felt like Ben but I couldn’t tell. It was like a ripple of some sort.” Poe got a wide smile and more tears fell from his eyes.

“We took a trip to Yavin 4. I showed them the Force sensitive tree. I don’t know if it was the tree or what but we’re bonded now and Ben… Ben lost all the Darkness. He only has light in him and no call to the darkness.” Leia gripped Poe’s shoulder and leaned on him while tears fell down her face. Poe pulled her back into a hug. When she finally ended the embrace she had regained her composer. As if in the snap of a finger she was back to being the General of the Resistance. Poe tried to look like the best god damn pilot in the Resistance and not the wrecked man he was. Poe stood up straighter and wiped the tears from his eyes. It wasn’t long before Luke and Rey came in. Leia told the three of them to take the Falcon and go help the rest of her family.

 

“Something doesn’t feel right.” Rey said as they approached the planet.

“What do you mean?! What’s not right?!” Rey was in the pilot seat with Poe sitting next to her. Luke was standing behind them and he put a hand on Poe’s shoulder.

“Be calm Poe. I feel (Y/N) and Ben.” Poe sighed out of relief.

“What’s the problem then? It's only the on the planet?”

“Yes, it seems they are the only ones on the planet but…” Luke trailed off while he and Rey shared a look. That look put dread in Poe.

“Speak! Tell me!” Poe yelled, tired of being kept out of whatever is going on.

“We sense a heavy darkness.” Poe went pale and he looked down at the planet.

“You-Do you think it’s Ben?” Poe’s voice was barely loud enough for them to hear. Rey put a hand on Poe’s and squeezed.

“We can’t tell. You still need to wait in the ship for us.” Poe nodded even though he hated it. They landed the ship and Rey and Luke left. Poe slumped in the seat and realized there is something he can do. He closed his eyes and tried to meditate like you and Ben showed him. He focused on his love and the strength that love gives him. He projected it towards Ben and you while he waited. He didn’t know how long he sat like that before he heard Rey yell at him.

“Poe, start up the ship!” Poe’s eyes shot open and he did as Rey instructed. Not long after Rey sat down in the pilot seat and helped get the ship off the ground.

“Are they-“

“They’re on broad and the darkness wasn’t Ben.” Poe was relived but also panicking.

“Where are they? If it wasn’t Ben-“

“Poe, first we need to get the ship in space. Then you’ll get answers.” Poe nodded once and bit his lip. They got the ship into space and turned on auto pilot. Rey turned to Poe and took his hand. “They are alive but-“ Poe’s eyes widened in fear and he stood up.

“Take me to them.” Rey nodded and stood up. She squeezed Poe’s hand as they went to a bedroom. When Poe entered he ran over to the bed where you and Ben laid. Luke was wrapping the wound on your side to keep it from bleeding. Poe got on his knees and put his hand on your cheek. Tears fell down his face. “What happened?” He said as he looked between the two of them. Ben looked fine just not awake, while you looked pale and your breathing was shallow.

“It seems (Y/N) took a saber to her side. I put a bacta bandage on and… She will need to be put in a bacta tank once on the base. Ben fainted from over exertion. He’ll be fine, he just needs to sleep.” Poe got up on the bed and sat with your head in his lap. He lovingly ran his hand over your hair. Luke didn’t say it but he knew there was a chance you might not make it to the base.

“What was the darkness?”

“Snoke was down there.” Poe looked down at his lovers and shook his head.

“What have you two been through?” Poe whispered to the both of you.

“Snoke’s dead.” Rey said and Poe looked at her in shock.

“Me and Ben killed him.” Poe smiled and looked down at Ben.

“Darling, I am so proud of you.” He put a hand on Ben and whispered. He cried harder and Rey stretched her hand out towards him. 

“Poe-“ Luke shook his head at Rey and she stopped. 

“If you need anything, or anything changes let us know.” Luke softly said to Poe. Poe just nodded while he looked down at you both. Poe leaned against the headboard and watched you two.

 

Poe didn’t realized he fell asleep until he was woken up by the sound of someone crying. Not just someone he realized, Ben. He opened his eyes and seen Ben sitting at the end of the bed. His whole body was shaking as he cried. Poe gently put your head on the bed after checking your breathing. He got off the bed and sat next to Ben. Ben had his face in his hands. Poe put his hand on Ben’s thigh and Ben jerked away from the touch.

“Ben.” Poe tried to keep the hurt out of his voice from Ben moving away from him.

“You must hate me.” Ben’s voice was muffled by his hands and crying.

“Shut up. Of course I don’t hate you.” Poe spoke softly but let a sternness come through.

“It’s my fault she got hurt.”

“No it’s not.”

“It is. I put you both in danger. No matter what I do, I will always hurt the ones I love. Snoke hurt her to punish me. He was going to kill you all, while I watched. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. If she dies then-“

“Ben! Stop.” Poe pulled Ben’s hands from his face and gripped Ben’s chin, making him look at him. Ben looked into his eyes with sadness and guilt. “It is not your fault. We both knew what we were getting into. I love you so fucking much, that hasn’t changed. It kills me to see you be so hard on yourself. Do you realize how fucking proud I am of you? You are free, Ben! You are free from the Order, from the Knights, from Snoke and most important of all free from the Dark Side. (Y/N) will be okay. She’s a fighter and I don’t think she’s done with us yet.” Ben cried harder and buried his head against Poe’s chest. They wrapped their arms around each other tightly. “I love you, forever. It’s going to be okay, darling. I got you, shhh.” Poe kissed the top of Ben’s head and buried his face in Ben’s hair. Eventually, they moved to sit back against the headboard. Ben had his arms wrapped around Poe’s torso and his head pressed against Poe’s chest. Poe ran his hand up and down Ben’s back as they watched you for the rest of the trip. Once, Luke came in and changed your bandage. It scared them how pale you were and how shallow your breathing was. You were alive though and that’s what they focused on.

They felt the ship land and it wasn’t long before medics came rushing into the room. The medics picked you up and started to carry you out. Ben and Poe followed behind. They walked out of the ship and there was a big crowd standing around. Poe and Ben were too busy watching you to even notice. The crowd was staring at Ben with fear and hate. They didn’t see Ben Solo, they didn’t even know he was Ben Solo. They seen Kylo Ren covered in blood and they didn’t know whose blood it was. They stayed back and just watched, though. Either out of fear of him or because following closely behind them staring back at the crowd was Leia, Luke, Rey and Finn. They look at the crowd as if daring them to see what happens if they say or do anything.

Poe and Ben were stopped as you were pulled into a room. The medics wouldn’t let anyone follow. Ben leaned back against the wall and sunk down to the ground. Poe did the same and he pulled Ben’s head into his lap. Poe turned to see Leia, Luke, Rey and Finn looking at them. “We’ll be fine, go.” Leia nodded and looked at Ben once before turning to leave. Luke put his arm around her and walked with her. Rey and Finn gave Poe a small smile before leaving. Poe rested his head against the wall and ran his hand through Ben’s hair. It was a couple hours before someone came out. Ben and Poe both stood up quickly. The doctor glanced at Ben worriedly before talking to Poe.

“She is in a bacta tank healing. There’s not much we can say about her condition until she’s out. She will be in there for a few days, her wound is deep.” Poe nodded and put his hand around Ben.

“Thank you Doctor.” She nodded and left. Poe looked at Ben. “Come on, let’s go to my room. We need sleep. We won’t leave her side once she’s out of the tank. For now though, there’s not much we can do.” Ben nodded and leaned on to Poe for support. He was still feeling the effects of the fight. Before going to his room Poe stopped by his x-wing to grab their bags. He grabbed yours too and sighed. Once in his room, Poe threw down the bags and grabbed the sides of Ben’s face. His thumbs rubbed his face gently. “How are you?” Ben smiled and laughed lightly.

“Pretty shitty.” Poe chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess that was a dumb question. Let’s get you out of these clothes and into a shower, huh?” Ben nodded and Poe helped him undress. Ben started to undress Poe and Poe looked at him confused.

“Join me, please. I can’t be far from you.” Poe smiled and helped take his clothes off.

“Of course, darling. I’ll be wherever you need me.” Both bare they turned on the shower and stepped in. They helped each scrub off the day. Once done they threw on some sweatpants and climbed into bed. They pressed their foreheads together and tangled their legs together. They held each tight and tried to ignore your missing presence. They kissed each other lovingly before closing their eyes.

“I love you. Forever.” Ben whispered.

“Love you. Forever.” Poe whispered back and kissed Ben’s forehead. Before long they fell asleep in each others arms.

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little smut before Ben finally confronts Leia.

Ben woke up and images of the previous day flooded his mind. Ben turned to the empty spot next to him before looking over at Poe. Ben’s arm was wrapped under Poe and he was nuzzled against Ben’s neck with his arm draped over Ben's chest. Ben stared up at the ceiling and lost himself in guilt and grief. He was too physically close to his mother and Luke. Their presences added to his guilt, even though they said they had forgave him. How could they truly forgive him when he couldn’t even forgive himself? He looked down at Poe and sighed. He pulled Poe tighter to him and Poe held on to Ben tighter. Ben looked to his other side and pictured you there. He was worried about you. He needed to see how you were healing. Ben ran his hand up and down Poe’s back trying to soothe himself more than Poe. After a few minutes, Ben felt Poe’s eyelashes flutter and then Poe’s lips pressed against his neck.

“I love you.” Poe whispered, his breath tickling Ben’s neck. Poe kissed Ben’s neck again as Ben kissed the top of Poe’s hair.

“I love you too.” Ben said back softly.

“I wonder if they would let us at least see her?” Poe said with a sigh, mirroring Ben’s thoughts. Just like Ben, as soon as Poe woke up his thoughts went to yesterday. He was worried about you and Ben. He was worried he would have to leave soon. With Snoke and Hux out of the picture the First Order was severely crippled. Now was the time to strike, which meant he would have to go on missions. That meant being away from the two people he loved most and who needed him.

“We should try. I can’t go days without seeing her. Without being close to her.” Ben said interrupting Poe’s thoughts. Poe nodded causing his nose to rub against Ben’s neck. Then Poe sat up and stretched.

“What time is it?”

“The afternoon.”

“Damn, really? We slept forever.” Poe looked over at Ben and Poe’s eyebrows came together. “Darling, what’s wrong?” Ben was still staring at the ceiling, thoughts and feelings swirling inside him.

“I need to see my mother.” That’s not what Ben intended to say but he’s glad he said it. Poe leaned over Ben and kissed his forehead. Ben finally looked at Poe and felt some peace at seeing Poe’s face. His handsome and loving face. It still amazed Ben to have someone look at him like that. He felt a twinge of pain in his gut thinking of you.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Ben thought for a moment.

“I do.” Poe nodded and kissed his forehead again. Poe went to get up but Ben put his hand on Poe’s head and kept him in place. He stared at Poe with an intensity and worry. “I thought I might never see you again.” Poe looked Ben right in the eyes and returned Ben’s intensity.

“I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.” Ben pushed Poe’s head down to kiss him.They kissed rough and needy. Without breaking the kiss Poe straddled Ben. It was like they needed to prove to each other that they were there. That no matter what, they had each other. They pressed their bodies together as much as they could. Poe’s hands wound into Ben’s hair and Ben’s hand gripped Poe’s back. They took turns sucking each other’s lips before Poe gently bit Ben’s now swollen lip and licked it. Poe slipped his tongue into Ben’s mouth causing them both to moan. They kissed fervently and needfully. Slowly, Ben’s hands slid down Poe’s back and into his pants. Ben squeezed Poe’s ass causing Poe to grind his hips against Ben. Their lengths rubbed together through the fabric of their pants and both men groaned. Poe continue to grind his hips as Ben’s tongue swirled around Poe’s mouth. It wasn’t long before they were both hard and Poe sat up. “Will you fuck me, Ben?” Poe asked softly and Ben’s eyes went wide.

“Yes, fuck yes.” Ben was barely able to talk and Poe smiled. He got off Ben and went to his bag. He pulled out a bottle and came back over to Ben who had already taken his pants off revealing his hard leaking cock. Poe chuckled and shook his head.

“So impatient, darling.” Poe teased and Ben’s face reddened. Poe pulled his own pants off and straddled Ben again.

“What are you doing?” Ben asked confused and Poe rubbed Ben’s stomach.

“I’m going to ride you, is that okay?” Ben’s eyes widened again and he nodded quickly. Poe leaned down and kissed down from Ben’s chest to his stomach before picking up the bottle back up. Ben ran his hands over Poe’s chest and abdomen while Poe coated Ben’s length. Poe set the bottle aside and lined himself above Ben. He slowly lowered himself and Ben’s eyes went back in pleasure.

“Oh fuck. You feel amazing, Poe.” Ben panted and Poe lightly laughed.

“Thank you, darling.” Poe took a few moments to get use to Ben before he slowly started to move up and down. Ben cussed loudly and Poe moaned. Poe leaned back slightly bracing his hands on Ben’s thighs. He still made sure to keep eye contact with Ben, though. Poe had totally control and moved so that Ben hit the perfect spot. “Yes.” Poe moaned out and Ben gripped Poe’s hips. Ben was probably leaving bruises but Poe didn’t care. Ben swirled his thumbs over Poe’s hips while he groaned and grunted. Poe was quieter than Ben but was also groaning and moaning. Slowly Poe picked up his pace. “You can thrust with my rhythm, darling.” Poe panted and Ben did as he said. They both let out a loud cuss together and Poe changed his pace again.

“I lo-love you.” Ben breathed out and Poe smiled widely at him. Ben smiled back before letting his head back back in pleasure.

“I love you.” Poe whispered and thrust down harder. “Fuck!” Poe called out and they both were breathing hard.

“I’m cl- ahhh close.” Ben said and blindly grabbed Poe’s cock. He stroked him with the thrust so they could come together. It was silent except for their grunts and moans while they both moved to completion. They both almost got to their peak when they projected their pleasure to each other. In that moment, both men released and called out each others names. They continued to thrust and stroke as they rode out their orgasms. Once Poe finally stilled Ben let go of Poe and Poe collapsed onto Ben’s chest. Poe ran his hand through Ben’s now damp hair and Ben trailed his fingers lightly across the lines of Poe’s back.

“Love you.” Poe breathed out.

“I love you.” Ben’s voice was slightly shaky. They laid there for a while before Poe got off Ben and moved to sit with his feet on the floor. He sighed sadly.

“Let’s go to the medbay and then the command center.” Ben nodded even though Poe wasn’t looking at him. Ben leaned forward and kissed Poe’s shoulder.

“Shower and food first, though.” Ben said agains Poe’s shoulder. Poe chuckled.

“Yeah, good idea.” They took a shower together and Ben asked to borrow Poe’s shaving stuff. Ben hated any amount of hair on his face. Poe leaned against the wall after getting dressed and watched Ben shave.

“Do you know if there’s any hair ties from (Y/N) around here?” Poe chuckled.

“Tons.” He opened a drawer in the bathroom and revealed a whole bunch. Ben chuckled and Poe grabbed one before closing the drawer. “Do you want your hair up?” Poe asked and Ben nodded shyly. Normal Ben like his hair down, covering his obscene ears but he thought maybe it would make him look less intimidating. Less like Kylo Ren and more like Ben Solo. Poe put the band between his teeth and gathered up Ben’s wet hair. He tied Ben’s hair into a bun and nibbled both of Ben’s ears before standing back. Ben blushed and grabbed a towel to clean his face off before turning around to Poe. Ben faced Poe and kissed his forehead.

“Thank you.” Poe knew he was thanking him for more than putting his hair up. He kissed Ben, letting that be his response. Poe turned to head out of the bathroom.

“I’ll let you get dressed while I fix up something to eat.” Poe walked to the kitchen and looked around. He didn’t have much food, so he made a mental note to get more. He was sure Ben wouldn’t want to eat in the mess hall, at least not for while. Poe worked on making something quick but filling since they haven’t eaten in long time. Eventually, Ben came out fully dressed and sat at the table. Poe brought two plates over and went back in the kitchen to get two large glasses of water. When he came back and sat across from Ben, he gave him a stern look. “You better eat and drink all of that.” Ben laughed and saluted.

“Yes, commander.” Poe shook his head but smirked. As they ate, their eyes occasionally drifted to the empty seat that should be filled by you.

 

After eating, they left to head to the med bay. Poe took Ben’s hand and gave him a reassuring smile before leaving the room. Ben smiled back but it was a little forced. Poe could feel the nervousness rolling off of Ben. Poe tried to project feelings of calm to help. It seemed to help a little as he watched Ben’s muscles relax. On the way there they got some looks but they were mostly look of confusion then anything else. People who normally greeted Poe just smiled shyly at him. Whether it was because of Ben or because they heard about you being hurt, he wasn’t sure. When they reached the med bay, BB-8 was there chatting with a nurse.

“Hey buddy, what are you doing?” Poe crouched down as BB-8 whirled excitedly over to him. BB-8 bumped right into Poe causing him to almost fall over. He would of if Ben’s legs hadn’t been behind him. He hugged the little droid and laughed. BB-8 beeped about how he made it his job to stay here, so if anything changed with you he could got get Poe. “Oh buddy, your the best.” BB-8 whirled happily and said there wasn’t any new news yet. Poe nodded and stood up. Poe took Ben’s hand again and went over to the nurse at the desk BB-8 had been talking to.

“Hello.” She greeted.

“Hi, we were wondering if we could see (Y/N).” The nurses face fell a little.

“She’s still in the tank and normally we don’t let visitors in but…” She looked Ben and Poe over.

“I will let you in for a few minutes.” Poe and Ben smiled widely at her.

“Thank you so much.” Ben said and she smiled back. She stood up and walked around the desk.

“You’re welcome, come this way.” They followed the nurse through a few doors and a couple halls before they were stood before you. You looked peaceful as you floated in the tank. They could see the wound in your side and Ben squeezed Poe’s hand. Poe squeezed back and whispered to you.

“You are so strong. Your going to out of this and live. I love you.” Ben sniffled and Poe looked up at him. Tears fell down his face and Poe let go of Ben’s hand so he could wrap his arm around him. Ben leaned into Poe and wrapped his arm around him. Poe got on his toes and kissed Ben’s temple. That stood there for a couple minutes before Ben wiped his tears with his free hand and nodded. Poe knew he was ready to go. Ben was ready to go but not yet ready to face his mother. He didn’t think he would ever be ready, though. They turned and walked out the nurse following quietly behind them. BB-8 greeted them when they returned. “She’s healing, buddy. She’ll be fine, it’ll just take some time.” Poe patted BB-8 on the head as they walked past them. Poe lead Ben to the command center.

As soon as they walked into the command center everyone stopped to look at them, including Leia. She stood frozen and stared at Ben. Ben looked down and held onto Poe. Poe rubbed Ben’s back and motioned for the shocked General to come over. She walked over, her eyes never leaving Ben. Leia looked as if she couldn't believe Ben was there. She stopped in front of Ben and he slowly looked up at her. She gave him a small loving smile as she waited for him to do something. Suddenly, Ben threw his arms around her and held her tightly as he sobbed.

“Oh, Ben.” She ran her hand up and down his back while tears fell down her own face. “Welcome home.”

“I’m s-sorry!” Ben chocked out and Leia shook her head.

“Be quiet Ben. No more apologizing. All we can do is moving on from the past. You have to keep moving forward.” Ben froze, that’s exactly what you had said to him. His tears slowed talking comfort in Leia's words and the memory of you. After a few moments, Leia talked again. “I just have one question. If you hadn’t of done it, would you be here right now? I know the answer to this question, do you? ” Ben knew she was talking about killing his father. He thought about it and he realized he wouldn’t be. He wouldn’t of been drawn towards the light more and if he hadn’t been drawn towards the light more he probably would of finished his training with Snoke. You would of never came to him and he wouldn’t be with you or Poe. He owed everything to his father. “The last thing he said to me was he was going to bring you home. That’s just what he did. Your home Ben, your home.” Ben started to sob again and Poe failed while he tried to stop his own crying. Leia gave Poe a kind smile and he returned it through his tears. “I love you Ben Solo. Forever.” 


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Poe go see Rey train. Smut at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the lack of new chapters. I've been busy and fighting writers block, a very bad combination. I will still be added new chapters, they'll just be here and there. I truly appreciate all the love this has gotten and I intend to see this fic to the end. <3

Once, Ben had stopped crying Leia pulled back and held Ben at arms length. She craned her head up and Ben tilted his head down. She kissed his forehead and they smiled at each other.

“How’s (Y/N)?” Leia asked as she looked worriedly between Ben and Poe. Ben looked to Poe and Poe stepped forward.

“She’s healing.” Poe didn’t know what else to say. Leia nodded solemnly and released Ben. Ben took Poe’s hand and squeezed. Poe squeezed back as he looked around the command center. No one was watching them, everyone looked to busy to bother. “How are thing’s here?” Leia sighed tiredly.

“We’re trying to plan the best course of action. Of course, no one will agree on what that should be.” Leia shook her head and looked to Poe apologetically. “You will be needed soon, Commander.” Poe nodded and gave her a kind smile.

“I know, General.”

“Can I help?” Ben asked causing shocked looks from Poe and Leia. “When the time comes for a fight, can I help?” Leia looked thoughtful and put a hand on Ben’s arm.

“I don’t know, it may not be best. I could use you tomorrow, though. We’ll be presenting plans of attack and your intelligence could help us select and tweak the best one.” Ben nodded and smiled lightly. That wasn’t the answer Ben wanted but he was happy to be useful in anyway. “For now, both of you need to support each other and try not to worry. I know it’s hard. Trust me I know, but try.” Ben and Poe smiled at her and nodded. Leia cupped Ben’s cheek. “I like your hair like that.” Leia tugged one of Ben’s ears. “Shows off those ears.” Ben scowled and blushed. Leia smirked and turned to walk back to the bustle of the command center.

“Come on, normally Luke and Rey are training now. We should watch.” Ben looked unsure but he let Poe pull him along.

 

Poe lead Ben to the training area. Finn was sitting on the ground watching Luke and Rey spar with the training sabers. Poe put a shoulder on Finn’s shoulder and Finn looked up at him with a bright smile. Finn’s eyes moved over to Ben and his whole face scrunched up. Ben’s stomach dropped as the guilt returned. Finn stood up and suddenly Poe worried if this was a good idea. Finn stood in front of Ben and Ben went to open his mouth but Finn put his hand up to stop him. Finn then did something that shocked everyone. He wrapped his arms around Ben.

“I forgive you. I know it wasn’t really you, it was Kylo Ren.” Finn whispered in Ben’s ear as he hugged him. A tear fell down Ben’s face and he rubbed it away. Finn pulled back and stuck his hand out to Ben. “It’s nice to meet you Ben Solo, names Finn.” Ben got a huge grin and shook Finns hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Finn.” Finn clapped Poe’s shoulder and turned around. Luke and Rey had stopped training and watched the whole exchange. They were both smiling wide. An surprising but good look for Luke. Rey walked over and hugged Ben.

“I know I said it before but I really do forgive you, Ben. I hope we can be friends. Like (Y/N) once told me, us Jedi need to stick together.” Rey pulled back out of the hug and Ben looked down at her with a surprised smile.

“I hope so too, Rey.” Rey stepped back as Luke walked up behind her. Ben looked at Luke concerned. Luke now had his usually expressionless face.

“Does your uncle also get a hug?” Luke asked as a smirk spread across his face. Ben smiled wide and nodded. They hugged tightly and Luke sighed.

“It’s so good to have you back, Ben. It’s been far too long. I am so proud of you.”

“Thank you, uncle.” Luke stepped back and held Ben at arms length. Luke looked Ben over and Ben blushed.

“I always did wonder where you got those funny ears from.” Luke said with a smirk and Ben rolled his eyes as he groaned. Luke laughed lightly.

“Now there’s the Ben I remember.” Ben smiled and shook his head lightly. Ben felt a warmth swirling inside him. He was truly home and once you were better everything would be in it’s proper place. Nothing was perfect of course, there was still a whole from his father’s missing presence and the looming threat of the First Order still remained. For now though, things seemed to finally be falling into place, the right place.

“Would you spar with me, Ben?” Rey asked as she held out a training saber to Ben. Ben got a cocky grin.

“Sure, I’ll try and go easy on you.” Rey snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, please.” Ben laughed and took the training saber. Luke, Finn and Poe sat down and watched the two dance around in a graceful battle.

 

Ben trained with Rey for the rest of the day. When it came time for Rey’s meditation, Luke, Poe and Ben all joined. Finn had left a while ago to check on somethings he was needed for. After meditation they all stood up and stretched.

“Are you guys going to join us for dinner?” Rey asked. Poe shot a worried look at Ben who was looking down nervously.

“No, I think we need to call it a day.” Poe said and Ben shot Poe an appreciative smile. Rey smiled brightly.

“Okay, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Rey ran off and Poe shook his head laughing.

“She has so much energy. Goodnight boys.” Luke said with a warm smile before walking away. Ben turned to Poe and took both of his hands.

“Thank you for not making me eat with them. It would be too much.” Poe shook his head dismissively.

“No need to thank me. I totally understand.”

“I am hungry, though.” Ben said shyly. Poe smiled wide and leaned up to kiss Ben’s cheek.

“That’s why I’m making dinner. Come on, darling.” They walked hand in hand back to the Poe’s quarters. When they got there BB-8 was waiting outside the door.

“Is something wrong BB-8?” Poe asked worriedly. BB-8 beeped at them no, everything’s fine and the nurse said you’re healing so well there’s a chance you’ll be out of the tank tomorrow night.

“That’s great buddy!” Poe exclaimed before kissing Ben in excitement. Ben smiled and BB-8 asked if it could charge in Poe’s room.

“Of course, buddy.” Poe opened his door and BB-8 rolled inside excitedly. The little droid went right to the charging base and powered down with a sigh.

“I’m going to take a shower, unless you want help with dinner.” Ben said as he gestured to the bathroom. Poe shook his head.

“Go ahead, darling.” Ben smiled and ducked into the bathroom. He left the door open a crack making Poe smile. Poe went right to working around the kitchen.

When Ben came out of the bathroom he was toweling his hair off and had just a towel around his waist. Poe turned around and looked Ben’s body up and down. Poe couldn’t believe how lucky to have two gorgeous beings love him. Ben bent over and looked through his bag when Poe looked down at his own pants. Just seeing Ben like this was turning him on. Poe smirked and quietly walked over the Ben before he smacked Ben’s ass. Ben shot straight up and dropped the towel he had been drying his hair with. He turned to Poe and he was blushing.

“Poe!” Poe laughed and pulled the towel away from Ben’s hips. Ben cupped himself with both of his hands and blushed harder. “Poe, what are you doing?!” Poe laughed hard and threw the towel down. He looked down at Ben’s hands and raised an eyebrow.

“You know, that’s nothing I haven’t already seen.” He nudged his head in the direction of Ben’s groin and then looked back up at Ben.

“Yeah, well, maybe I don’t want you to see me right now.” Ben said defiantly. Poe stepped closer and let his groin press against Ben’s thigh. One of Poe’s hands went around and squeezed Ben’s ass while the other rested over Ben’s hands.

“Well, maybe I want to see you right now.” Ben looked down at Poe and let out a huff of air. Poe knew there was no way Ben couldn’t feel his erection.

“After dinner.” Ben smirked and Poe smirked back. Poe stepped away and stuck his hand out.

“Deal.” Ben rolled his eyes and went back to his bag as Poe laughed. Much to Poe’s disappointment, Ben put on some boxers before he sat down at the table. Poe set them both down a plate and got them something to drink for them. They ate and made chit chat about what they were going to do tomorrow. Poe needed to check on his x-wing, make sure it’s flight ready and go get stuff to stock the room with food. Ben wanted to train with Rey again.

After dinner, Poe and Ben cleaned up the dishes. Once they were done, Ben sat down on the bed and twisted his hands together.

“Poe, where’s my ring and (Y/N)’s?”

“Oh!” Poe went over to his jacket that was thrown on the floor. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the two rings. Poe went over and kneeled down in front of Ben. He slipped Ben’s ring on for him and kissed his hands. Poe held onto your ring and slipped it on his pinky. They both stared at it.

“I was thinking, I can ask my mother tomorrow if she can get me a room for while I’m waiting for her to get better.” Poe looked up at Ben with obvious hurt on his face.

“Why?” Ben looked at Poe’s face and blushed.

“I- I figured you wouldn’t want me to just move in.” Poe shook his head and smiled slightly.

“Ben, darling, I don’t think I could stand to have you be anywhere else. I want you you here, I need you here. If you want your own room then I’ll understand but-“ Ben shook his head fast.

“No, no, I want to be with you.” Poe smiled wider now.

“Good. If fact…” Poe stood up and walked over to the storage unit in the wall by his bed were he keep his clothes. He opened a drawer and it was completely empty. “I had cleared this out for (Y/N) but I can clear another out for her later. You can put your clothes in here.” Ben smiled and Poe closed the drawer. He walked over to the self that has his family picture and put your ring next to it. Poe then went back over to Ben and kneeled down again. Ben put a hand through Poe’s hair and Poe kissed Ben’s thigh. “How are you feeling?” Ben sighed.

“Worried.” Poe laid his head down on Ben’s lap and ran his hand up and down Ben’s calf.

“Worried about what?”

“A few things… Worried about (Y/N), worried about what people will think of me, worried about the First Order, worried about my family… and I’m worried about you.” Poe lifted his head and put his hand on Ben’s cheek.

“Why are you worried about me?”

“You have so many friends here, a good life here and I don’t want to fuck it up. I’m pretty good at that.” Ben laughed sadly and Poe stood up to straddle Ben’s lap. Poe gripped both sides of Ben’s face and stared into eyes lovingly.

“Oh darling, how can I convince you that is ridiculous. You and (Y/N) are my best friends and my loves. I need you both in my life, your already apart of my life. You are what makes it good. You being here is the best thing for me. I love you so much the thought of being away from you physically pains me. I was sick when I had to leave you both and it just got worse the longer I was away. Not knowing if you were okay…” A tear slipped down Poe’s face and he shook his head as his jaw clenched. Ben kissed where the tear had fallen and nuzzled his nose against Poe’s cheek.

“I’m sorry, love. I don’t mean to doubt your love or if you really want me but I do. I can’t help it. You and (Y/N) are the best thing to happen to me, ever. It’s hard to believe that I deserve that or that I would fuck it up.”

“Don’t ever doubt our love for you, never. I know it’s going to take time for you to fully accept how much we love you. I’ll be here constantly proving to you how wonderful you are and how much you deserve more than me and (Y/N) can ever give you.” Ben kissed Poe slow. Ben tried to put all his love into that kiss as did Poe. Both of them could tell. Both of them could feel the love through their bond. Ben’s hands gripped Poe’s back and he laid back without breaking the kiss. Poe’s hands moved to Ben’s hair. Ben broke the kiss and gave Poe such a loving look that Poe felt it through his whole body. His heart was racing and his blood was moving south, just with one look.

“I love you, Poe Dameron.” Ben whispered and moved his hand to stroke Poe’s back.

“I love you, Ben Solo.” Poe whispered back before bring his mouth back to Ben’s. They kissed slow, like they had all the time in the world. They both wanted to bask in their love and each other. Eventually, Ben slipped his hands down to the hem of Poe’s shirt and tried to pull it up. Poe got off of Ben and Ben laid down across the bed. Poe pulled off his shirt and pants before straddling Ben again. Poe nuzzled his nose in the crock of Ben’s neck. “I love you, darling. You are perfect.” Poe murmured sweetly. Ben trailed his fingers lightly over the lines in Poe’s back and kissed the top of his head.

“I love you. You are so warm. Your soul is warm and bright. It’s addictive, love.” Poe had never been turned on more but such loving words. He could feel Ben’s erection pushing against him. Poe kissed and sucked Ben’s neck slowly in between murmuring sweet words. Ben ran his long fingers lovingly through Poe’s locks as he did this. Eventually, Poe moved down to Ben’s chest and kissed his way down to his stomach. Poe spent a while here. Poe enjoyed the smoothness and hardness of Ben’s abs. Years of training left Ben perfectly sculpted and he was taking his time to enjoy it.

“You are beautiful.” Poe whispered against Ben’s stomach.

“So are you, love. You are perfect, absolutely perfect in every way.” Poe moved down and nuzzled into Ben’s clothed crouch. Ben was straining in his boxers. Ben moaned and gripped slightly tighter at Poe’s hair. Poe kept moving down and kissed the inside of Ben’s thighs. “Poe, make love to me. I need you.” Poe stopped kissed Ben’s thighs and came back up so his face was inches in front of Ben’s.

“I will, darling. I’ll make sweet and slow love to you.” Ben’s head fell back and he moaned.

“Please.” Ben moaned out and Poe moaned in response against Ben’s chest. Poe pulled down Ben’s boxers and threw them. Ben pulled down Poe’s and threw them. Poe settled between Ben’s legs and Ben wrapped his legs around Poe’s waist. Poe reached for the bottle of lub they had left on the bed from this morning. He coated his fingers and teased Ben’s hole. Poe leaned down and Ben wrapped his long arms around Poe, gripping his back as Poe inserted his finger.

“Oh, darling, you feel wonderful.” Poe whispered against Ben’s mouth before they kissed. Their mouths were wide and worked together slowly, their noses nuzzling each other often. Poe worked Ben before adding a second finger. Ben moaned against Poe’s mouth. Poe curled his fingers and stroked Ben’s sweet spot. “I love you.” Poe whispered in between a kiss.

“I love you.” Ben moaned out. Not too much later and Poe added a third finger. Poe worked Ben until his was panting against his mouth. “Poe, I need you. I’m ready, love.” Poe nodded and pulled his fingers out. Ben whimpered quietly at the lost contact and Poe rubbed Ben’s stomach as he grabbed the bottle. Poe coated his length and positioned himself. His nose pressed against Ben’s cheek as his cock pushed against Ben’s entrance.

“Ready, darling?”

“Yes, fuck yes.” Poe chuckled softly. Poe slowly entered Ben as they moaned against each others cheeks. Once Poe was fully in Ben, he began to move very gently and slow. “Yes, just like that. Force, I love you. You feel amazing, love.” Poe pressed his mouth to Ben’s and they lazily kissed.

“I love you. You feel so damn good.” Poe moaned in between their lazy kissing. Poe’s thrust were lazy but he made sure to hit Ben’s sweet spot every time. Ben was so tight and their sweet talk was pushing him over the edge. They were both panting and sweating. Poe reached for Ben’s cock but Ben shook his head.

“No, no.”

“Are you going to come without me even touching you?” Ben nodded and Poe moaned. They continued to kiss and move their hips together as they got closer. Soon. they were breathing heavily against each others mouths and they knew they were close. “I’m so close, Ben.”

“Me too, Poe.” Ben’s voice was wrecked and deeper than normal. Poe could of came just by how Ben said his name but he held out for Ben.

“Come on, darling. Come for me. I love you, Ben.” With those last words Ben’s body shook and his head fell back. Poe put his head in the crock of Ben’s neck as Ben moaned out Poe’s name. Ben came onto their stomachs and Poe wasn’t far behind yelling out Ben’s name. They kissed through their intense orgasms. Once, they came down some Poe collapsed on top of Ben. Poe laid his head on Ben’s chest as they listened to each other’s hearts and breathing get back to normal. After a little while, Poe got up and grabbed a shirt. He cleaned off each other before getting back into bed. Poe curled up against Ben’s chest and Ben held Poe to him tightly. Their legs twisted together and Poe pulled the blanket over them.

“That was amazing. Thank you so much. Love you, forever.” Ben said sleepily into Poe’s hair.

“It was perfect, thank you. Love you, forever.” Poe said before kissing Ben’s chest. They quickly fell asleep in each other’s arm.


End file.
